Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 28, 2019

December 28, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

How are we feeling about heading into 2020, not just a new year but an election year? If it helps with the anxiety, please know I’ll be here every week with a new list of band names. Not a cure, but it helps and gives me hope. For now, enjoy this last selection for 2019. New Year’s week is heavy on the tribute bands, which account for 3 out of 5 of my picks. As I noted last week, part of the fun of starting a tribute band must be coming up with a clever name.

Electric Boots

Rather than playing on a song title or the name of the artist for which it is a tribute, this extracted lyric perfectly evokes the whole Elton John aesthetic in two words.

Fleetwood Snack

Sometimes all you need is a taste. (Seems to be not so much a tribute band as a tribute name, but I like it either way.)

Love Vigilantes

Sometimes a song title needs no adjustment at all to become a band name, it only needs someone to claim it, like DIY justice for lovers done wrong.

Waves Like Weapons

Sound is a wave and has been used offensively at least since Joshua and the walls of Jericho.

We Don’t Know

Truer words were never spoken. Appropriate for all occasions.

One last thing before you go: Through December 31, I am participating in an authors’ “newsletter hop.” Subscribe to newsletters and answer trivia questions for a chance to win prize bundles of multiple books and stories, including my fantasy novels Daughter of Magic and Wizard Girl. If you want to play, go to my Facebook page for details.

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 21, 2019

December 21, 2019 · 2 Comments ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This is the first weekend this month with no commitments on the calendar. In spite of thin listings, there are plenty of appealing shows we could go to, but staying in is the most appealing activity of all. And since I’ve managed to catch a cold for Christmas, that is what we’ll do. If you’re looking for ideas, those thin listings yielded these precious gifts:

East of Friday

From the moment I had a concept of calendar time, I have pictured weeks, months, and years as a kind of map or game board with a definite directional aspect. If you head east from Friday, do you arrive at Saturday or Thursday? I say Thursday.

Heck Yes

Emphatically positive and keepin’ it clean.

Jaws Was Real

Jaws traumatized me when I saw it in the theater at the tender age of 11. I didn’t see it again until my late 30s when I watched it on the small screen with my kid (probably also 11-ish). He was not scared and I laughed so hard at the obvious fakery.

Oh Nothing

As a response to the question “What are you thinking about?” “Oh, nothing” is as likely as not to be true.

Petty or Not

Part of the fun of starting a tribute band must be coming up with a clever name. This one is a two-fer, with both wordplay and a sly indication that this is a tribute to Tom Petty and Fleetwood Mac.

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Review: SuperGuy 2: Electric Boogaloo

December 17, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

SuperGuy2 Electric Boogaloo SuperGuy 2: Electric Boogaloo (Not A Pipe Publishing, 2019) by Kurt Clopton

I have been looking forward to this sequel from the moment I finished book 1, my anticipation heightened when I learned the title, borrowed from a beloved ‘80s save-the-rec-center dance movie. Like SuperGuy before it, SuperGuy 2: Electric Boogaloo is a superpowered workplace comedy, complete with annoying coworkers, petty rivalries, and impenetrable bureaucracy. (Q: How hard could it be to add a cape to a uniform? A: Very.) Everything that was goofy in book 1 – SuperGuy’s immodest uniform, his nemesis Gray Matter’s overly complicated plots (and his crush on a diner waitress named Alice), the police chief’s maybe-real-maybe-not animosity – are all cranked up a few hilarious notches. Meanwhile, a former minion of Gray Matter is accidentally transformed into an energy monster and takes his villain name from an old VHS tape. He hates SuperGuy and Gray Matter in equal measure, allowing for spectacular battles and destruction. And there’s a well-dressed new villain in town whose identity is a mystery only to our heroes.

Recommended for fans of Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, and any readers who like their action and comedy in equal measure.

Oliver Olson, generically-themed official city superhero of Milwaukee, has finally become more comfortable with his job, if not so much with his suit. After defeating the supervillain, Gray Matter, and thwarting his plan of world domination in his first few weeks on the job, Oliver is settling into the routine of protecting his city by catching small time crooks, protecting a larger part of the country by joining a regional supergroup, and protecting his job by keeping his trainee sidekick from destroying anything. But now there’s a giant blue monster who wants a word. All Oliver wants is a cape.

“A dash of superhero action, a pinch of lovelorn supervillain angst, and a splash of cape envy. Shake it all up and you get SuperGuy 2: Electric Boogaloo. Oliver and company are back in this irreverent sequel that wonders, Is the enemy of my enemy really my friend?”

–LeeAnn McLennan, author of The Supernormal Legacy trilogy

“This high-energy, laugh-out-loud action comedy will brighten the dark days ahead.”

–Karen Eisenbrey, author of Daughter of Magic, The Gospel According to St. Rage, Wizard Girl, and Barbara and the Rage Brigade

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 14, 2019

December 14, 2019 · 5 Comments ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas? It’s gray and raining and my back yard is full of birds, calling and feasting; I guess they think so. Also, my brother is performing a chapter of Finnegans Wake from memory tonight. This is the sixth year in a row, so something of a December tradition by now and the reason my weekend is booked up. But I always have time to celebrate band names, no matter the weather or the season. Here are this week’s picks:

The Amber Lanterns

Warm, old-timey light in the darkness.

Common Holly

Pretty, Christmas-y, invasive, functionally immortal. (Not a seasonal act, either, but well timed.)

The Feral Folk

What free-range kids grow up to be.

Mind of Joy

Intellect meets emotion on equal terms.

Yeehaw Junction

The world capital of whoopin’ and hollerin’. (Not only is this the name of a real place, more than one band is using it. This is not the bluegrass outfit from Charleston, but the punk outfit from Richmond that has been on a bill with Square Pig faves Dead Bars!)

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 7, 2019

December 7, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

For someone who just wants to stay home in December and bake, I sure have a lot on my calendar this month! (“A lot” being defined as at least one event on any given weekend.) Alas, none of it appears to involve getting out to hear live bands, but I still plan to celebrate band names every week. Lots of goodies in this week’s listings:

After the Burial

As I Lay Dying

I probably would have chosen either of these alone, but finding them on the same bill made for an easy yes. The latter evokes an ill-advised Faulknerian quest; the former, an end to drama and heroics. (The listings had them in the logical order, which tells me they’ll play in the same comically horrible order presented here.)

The Aquadolls

Great retro vibe conjures up Seafairs of yesteryear and Esther Williams movies. I’m so pleased to learn this is, in fact, an all-female surf-punk band.

Criminal Squirrel Orchestra

Adorable little rogues making music? I’d watch that Saturday morning cartoon!

Power Strip

Shining the spotlight on a mundane piece of equipment lends it grandeur. Or this could be a particularly muscular burlesque act.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 30, 2019

November 30, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It occurs to me I am a few weeks into the 10th year of writing this weekly blog, which began on November 6, 2010 and featured All Time Low, Armed with Legs, Aurora Roarers, Excruciator, and Rat City Ruckus. Back then, I was writing on a Blogspot page and more bands were on MySpace than Facebook. Other than a few holiday weeks when the pickings were slim and I did a retrospective, I have not had to repeat myself. As long as bands keep supplying good material, I plan to keep sharing it. Just like this:

Ghost Moon

Veiled in cloud, drifting spookily through the night. (By my count, this is at least the 27th moon-themed name I’ve featured.)

Go Fetch

The succinct beginning of a quest.

The Stand Stillers

Don’t move. Just sing. (Although I generally respect the rules of English grammar and syntax, I love how you can completely disregard them and still make sense.)

Total Fu**ing Bummer

The absolute depth of disappointment and height of NW Loser Pride. (Censorship courtesy of The Seattle Times.)

YOB

Your own … bottle? Battle? Brother? Bother? Whatever it is, bring it.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 23, 2019

November 23, 2019November 23, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Barbara+and+the+Rage+Brigade+Front+Cover — Cover art by Maggie Gauntt

I’ll start with the shameless self-promotion right out of the gate. Tonight beginning at 5 pm, I’m celebrating my newest novel, Barbara and the Rage Brigade (sequel to garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage) with a launch party at The Neverending Bookshop. I’ll read some excerpts, take questions, give away a book or two, sign books, hand out download codes for the associated 4-song EP, and perform acoustic versions of the entire St. Rage catalog of eleven songs, because what’s a party without music?

We’ll be all done no later than 7 pm, so you can easily get out to a dive bar and hear a well-named non-fictional band on the same night. The pickings were somewhat reduced by the holiday next week, but I managed a pretty good harvest even so:

Bone Spurs

I’m partial to band names involving body parts or medical conditions. When that medical condition is also part of the national joke, you know you’ve got a winner.

Family Worship Center

As it happens, my book features a creepy cult disguised as a wholesome mega-church. My church-girl protagonist is not fooled.

Moon Duo

Moon Heist

I am fond of the moon and have written about at least 24 moon-themed band names in the past nine years. Now it’s at least 26, because I hadn’t done either of these before. They go together: one’s about an extra moon, the other about a moon that’s missing. In either case, the world would be a very different place. Maybe we have only one because another planet heisted the extra. Lookin’ at you, Mars.

Rabble House

Change one letter and the act of agitating common folk becomes a church I’d much rather attend than the Family Worship Center (happens they’re on the same bill).

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 16, 2019

November 16, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I have an appointment at Bloodworks NW this afternoon, so no mosh pit for me tonight. But my fictional songwriter protagonist and I did write a song about blood donation, which I am happy to share:

Please donate if eligible! But if you’re not a pint low, find a well-named band to support, like maybe one of these:

Atrocity Girl

Is urban women rocking out a war crime?

Convent Bonfires

I like the rhyming first syllables followed by similar consonant sounds. But I have to wonder–are the nuns having a folksy outdoor worship time, or are they plotting to dismantle the patriarchy, then destroying the evidence?

Montlake Traffic

When you have to wait while a single boat goes through, pour your frustration into a really loud song. (There’s no localer flavor than some kind of bridge traffic, and Montlake is the one I happen to cross the most.)

Okay-ish

I love the qualifier on an already lukewarm adjective. Also, I gather the band includes or is entirely made up of middle-schoolers, an age when okay-ish might be as good as things get but being in a band would surely help.

Wizzrobe

For Halloween, I went as the aforementioned songwriter protagonist going as my other, wizard-girl protagonist. I made myself a long, hooded wizard cloak, which I know is different from a robe, but close enough.

Shameless Self-Promotion: Barbara and the Rage Brigade, sequel to garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage, releases next Tuesday, November 19! Paperback and Kindle editions are available for pre-order now, online or from your favorite independent bookshop. Join me for the launch party at The Neverending Bookshop on Saturday, November 23! In addition to reading from the book, I plan to perform the entire St. Rage catalog of eleven songs, because what’s a party without music?

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 9, 2019

November 9, 2019November 9, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My concerns that we were in for a sunny, dry November were apparently unfounded. Oh, well–the dark, damp season is perfect for holing up in the shelter of a bookstore or dive bar and discovering your new favorite thing. Maybe one of these:

Liver Down the River

The addition of one letter transforms an instruction to abide lower in the valley into a comical and unexpected rhyme of organ and watercourse.

Shelter in Place

This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse!

Stereo Embers

The warm, comforting glow of audio components in the winter dark, whether vacuum tubes or red LEDs.

Windchime Weather

Gentler breezes than our typical November storms, unless you want to destroy your chimes as we have.

Wolf & Bear

Could be a two-kid cub scout pack, but it’s more fun with more.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 2, 2019

November 2, 2019 · Leave a comment ·

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The moment we (or anyway, I) have been waiting for: I can finally reveal the cover to my novel Barbara and the Rage Brigade, sequel to garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage. The book releases on November 19; the Kindle edition is available for pre-order now, with hardcover and paperback to follow in about a week. Join me for the launch party at The Neverending Bookshop on Saturday, November 23! In addition to reading from the book, I plan to perform the entire St. Rage catalog of eleven songs, because what’s a party without music?

That party is a few weeks off but there’s plenty to celebrate in band names that aren’t even fictional:

Cedar Sap

Sibilance and local flavor, sticky and resinous.

These three represent Halloween continuing into November to hold the line against too-early Christmas:

Coffin Break

Dracula’s siesta in the middle of the worknight.

Dead Ghosts

The end of the afterlife.

Ghost Heart

Repackaged Valentine candy for your creepy trick-or-treat sweetie. (The actual science-y definition is also beautiful: a heart’s collagen matrix stripped of living cells, on which to grow a brand-new heart almost from scratch. Like it’s the future or something.)

A War in the Sky

Could be a futuristic space battle in low orbit or the WWI Flying Ace vs. The Red Baron. The sky has been a battlefield for a sadly long time.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)