Square Pig in a Round Hole – June 18, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

What a lovely day for the Solstice Parade. Sunburn is unlikely, but the nude bicyclists may have wanted a jacket. Fortunately, we can always take shelter in a bar somewhere and listen to a well named band.

Cyborg Octopus, Nautilus Pompilius

Cephalopods! So I’ll talk about them together. As a writer, I have to respect an intelligent, reclusive creature that hides behind ink. And as a science fiction writer, I’m drawn to the cyborg reference, of course. What sort of implants or upgrades might it have? Perhaps some kind of armor? Like the Chambered Nautilus (Nautilus Pompilius)!

Distant Station

Driving at night in the middle of nowhere, you can (or at least used to) pick up powerful AM radio stations from far off towns. Some so clear they were painful to listen to, others staticky and distorted, like they were broadcasting from another planet. Wait a minute. Just how distant is this station?

Pocket of Lollipops

I hope you brought enough to share. Not wrapped, you say? Oh. No, I don’t want that one covered in lint. I’m sorry your pocket is sticky.

The Welkin Din

Welkin is a beautiful old word that doesn’t get out much anymore. The vault of heaven! At Christmas, we sing “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” but what Charles Wesley wrote was “Hark, how all the welkin rings.” I’m sure it was a mighty din.

Square Pig in a Round Hole June 12, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Armored Saint, Metal Church

I sense a theme! I didn’t even have to dream up this dream gig — they were on the same bill. I like the apparent dissonance: battle gear and aggressive music on the one hand, holiness on the other. Is this what St. Paul meant about putting on the full armor of God?

Failed to Study

Parent: I have to say, I’m disappointed in these grades.

Kid: But Dad, I had band practice!

Parent: Well, that’s OK, then. Priorities.

Hello, I’m Sorry

Nametag that encapsulates northwest loser culture. Or a timesaving approach to relationships: get the apologies out of the way at the outset, before you’ve had a chance to do anything wrong.

The Second Hand Suits

As a big fan of secondhand stores, I couldn’t let this one go by. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to dress pretty well, which is a good thing if you’re a typical musician. Also, several scenes and one song in my novel The Gospel According to St. Rage revolve around the protagonist’s thrift-store aesthetic. Hooray for giving clothes new life!

Square Pig in a Round Hole June 4, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My first post on this site! I’ve been writing a weekly blog about band names since late 2010. For previous posts, go here.

Arbor Labor Union

It’s an awkward mouthful, and I respect that, as well the right of the workers who keep our trees healthy to organize.

 

The Briefs, Topless

Undergarments and the lack thereof! Because of my weekly close reading of the club listings, I’m always imagining dream gigs based solely on names that belong together. These two did the work for me by appearing at the top and bottom (really!) of a show last night with Square Pig faves Dead Bars (who will soon release an album titled Dream Gig). You can’t make this stuff up.

 

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

Two fields of endeavor where close counts.

 

Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet

I’m a sucker for a name that’s maybe just a little too long. I also appreciate the hybrid noir/sci fi vibe.

 

St Rage CoverShameless self promotion! My debut novel, The Gospel According to St. Rage, will be released in paperback and ebook by Pankhearst on July 14, 2016. Preorder the ebook now: http://getbook.at/gospel

Meet Barbara Bernsen, Former Invisible Girl. 

Barbara isn’t your typical high school junior. She’s been invisible since the third grade. But when a magic hat brings her back into the light, Barbara is ready to take on the world. First priority? Start an all-girl garage band. Miraculous super powers were never in her plan, but sometimes you get what you need. Bullies and school shooters don’t stand a chance. 

Yes, we all love Wonder Woman, Black Widow, and Jessica Jones, but Barbara is the hero her high school deserves. 

 Truth. Justice. Rock & Roll.

Blog Archive: Square Pig in a Round Hole

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Square Pig in a Round Hole archive.