Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 16, 2018

Posted on June 16, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m back from vacation and ready to continue the celebration of band names. Happily, there were plenty to choose from and it was easy to make my list:

Bloom Offering

A lovely, fragrant, ephemeral sacrifice, seemingly less violent than a burnt animal offering. But how do the plants feel about it?

Imposter of Humanity

We’re all pretending we know how to do this thing.

Lilac

Me a few days ago in Philipsburg, MT

My favorite flower, and I can actually grow it! But its season is so short. The secret is to follow it through climatic zones, where it is possible to enjoy April in June.

The Midnight Avocados

A nutritious and satisfying late snack.

Wake of Humanity

Apparently, it’s “of humanity” week. The destruction we leave in our path; or the drunken celebration the other lifeforms will hold when we’re gone.

Shameless Self Promotion:

In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult Daughter+of+Magic+eBook+Cover+edit+1 fantasy novel Daughter of Magic released on May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Luskell has been dreaming about dead people.

Her parents may be two most powerful wizards in the country, but Luskell doesn’t have any magic of her own, so she’s stuck spending a summer with her grandmother in the small town of Deep River where her father is the hometown hero. Then the dead start to visit her dreams with mysterious messages. In a secret pact with her friends Jagryn and Laki, Luskell begins to teach herself magic and discovers an apparently bottomless well of untapped power. But before she has control over this ability, her dead grandfather appears with a dire warning. With no way to send word to her parents, Luskell and her friends mount a daring rescue. Can they get to the capital in time to save the country … and her parents’ lives?

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 9, 2018

Posted on June 9, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The Square Pig is taking a well-deserved vacation and will return on June 16. In the meantime, keep name your bands with creativity and humor!

Crane’s Fire

Posted on June 3, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

My novel Daughter of Magic released on May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing, which accepted Kamila Shamsie’s challenge to make 2018 The Year of Publishing Women and will publish nine books by seven women this year. They are also accepting submissions of short stories by women to be published weekly online.

This week’s story is “Crane’s Fire,” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic.

Hand-on-Fire-Wallpaper-For-Free

CRANE’S FIRE by Karen Eisenbrey

Crane was bursting to tell, but he couldn’t. Not while Soorhi watched. The teacher might have been old as dirt, but he didn’t miss much. Crane fidgeted. A breeze blew through the open windows. It smelled like apple blossoms. Like spring. Why were they inside on such a day? The eastern window framed a view of open country—grassland and rippling green wheat fields, broken here and there by splotches of purple or yellow where wildflowers bloomed. To the west lay the village of Deep River, though Crane could see only one house and part of another, built of gray river rock like the schoolhouse. Between them, he caught glimpses of a distant snow-capped mountain, and the dry gully that gave Deep River its name.

(Keep reading here.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 2, 2018

Posted on June 2, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My superpower is finding things other people have lost. My good deed today was finding the lost piece of paperwork that my spouse needed from his parents’ files. This required a trip to Whidbey Island on a beautiful day (boo-hoo) so I’m late to the blog but ready as ever to laud these excellent band names:

Behold…the Arctopus

Maybe I’m just a punctuation nerd, but the ellipsis really makes this for me. The pause takes the faux-ancient grandiosity to a level of actual grandeur.

Disposable Zeros

So much nothing that they can be thrown away; yet what a difference if even one is added to your paycheck or removed from your rent.

Oceans of Slumber

So much sleep. I want it.

Scream along with Billy

Simultaneously cathartic and comforting because you’re screaming, but you’re doing it with at least one other. (Because of the format of the Times’ club listings, I was willing to believe the name was Scream along with Billy, Matt and Pat. Oh well.)

Two Horses Too Many

Homophones so close together are always fun, and the rhythm is actually better than the movie line from which it is drawn. Also, I didn’t know there was such a thing as a spaghetti-Western band, but I’m glad there is.

Shameless Self Promotion:

Luskell has been dreaming about dead people.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 27, 2018

Posted on May 27, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m a day late with the band names because I spent a good chunk of Saturday celebrating the launch of my latest novel with an online party that was heavy on live video (and boy, is my arm tired. If there is a next time, I’ll use a tripod). But I’m not the only one out there being creative. Give some love to these deserving winners:

Amish Robots

My first thought was hand-operated automatons, but maybe this is what happens when AI is advanced enough to choose a simpler life.

Children of Atom

Change two letters to move from mythology to science, but it’s still a creation story. In the beginning …

Gunpowder Stitches

They fight infection but may reopen the wound when they explosively remove themselves.

The Normalcy Bias

It’s understandable to believe how it’s been is how it will be, even in rock & roll. But “normal” is overrated, if it exists at all.

War Puppy

What happens when you loose the dogs of war and they decide to make love instead.

Shameless Self Promotion:

Karen at MoPop-cropped In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult fantasy novel Daughter of Magic released on May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 19, 2018

Posted on May 19, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

After spending a few hours at MoPOP signing and selling books as part of the Write Out of This World youth writing competition, I’m ready to get down to the serious business of celebrating band names, which have never yet let me down. Here are this week’s treasures:

Dust Bolt

Like a lightning bolt except when it strikes instead of frying you it makes you sneeze so hard your head explodes. Wielded by the deity of housework and allergies.

The Face of Loki

Meanwhile, the god of mischief is the leading candidate for deity of punk rock.

Poorsport

Run together this way, it can be something other than a sore loser. Perhaps a down-on-its-luck harbor town where everyone is equally impoverished.

Skeletonwitch

In case my new book (see below) does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band.

South Sound Tug & Barge

Although it might make it hard to google the band, some business names are hard to resist. This sound will tug you out of your seat and barge you into the mosh pit.

Shameless Self Promotion:

Karen at MoPop-cropped In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases next Tuesday, May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and is available for pre-order now! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them. Join us for an online launch party on Saturday, May 26, 1-4 p.m. We will be live on Facebook for much of it, which will either be very cool or a total trainwreck. Either way, you’ll want to be there.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 12, 2018

Posted on May 12, 2018 by kareneisenbreywriter

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

On this Mother’s Day weekend, my spouse is visiting his nonagenarian parents and I’m getting to spend time with the one of our two offspring who still lives with us (all Marvel related: today was the Marvel exhibit at MoPop–highly recommended–and tomorrow, he’s taking me to see Avengers: Infinity War.) That doesn’t leave much space for rockin’ but if you want to take your mom to a show, consider one of these:

Dead Horse Trauma

In one of the unpublished novels in the backstory of my upcoming release, a pair of young people who don’t know they’re falling in love find a dead horse by the smell. It’s traumatic to be sure, but also a metaphor for the obvious attraction they’re both trying to ignore.

Dragged and Dropped

In which it is demonstrated that the past tense can turn a mundane editing tool into violent action.

Kulululu

Either a nonsense backing vocal or a sacred ululation. Possibly both.

The Trash Bags

Shine a spotlight on a common, even despised, object and it becomes glorious. (All their posts are in French, which only adds to the glory.)

Who Let Who Let the Dogs Out Out

This is not so much a band as a presentation but it’s still a great name: over-wordy nonsense that actually makes perfect sense.

Shameless Self Promotion:

In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing and is available for pre-order now! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. If you can’t wait till May 22, on Saturday, May 19, I and other Not a Pipe authors will be signing and selling books from 11 am to noon at Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop) as part of the celebration of their Write Out of This World youth writing competition.

As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them. Join us for an online launch party on Saturday, May 26, 1-4 p.m.