Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 9, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This weekend’s events have most likely been cancelled. Go back to bed. Or shovel your neighbor’s walk. Or download music by your favorite local bands and/or books by your favorite local authors, snuggle up by the fire, and enjoy this unusual weather. (For readers outside the greater Seattle area: we have several inches of snow on the ground and more on the way. It’s too hilly here to do anything but shut down for a few days. See you after the thaw.) Even if these bands’ gigs get cancelled, I will celebrate them here:

13 Finches

There are 13 ways of looking at a blackbird and 13 ways of being a finch in the Galapagos. But I chose this one because on Thursday, a friend described an art installation consisting of finches and electric guitars. Wish I’d seen/heard it!

Beige Radio

It may be drab on the outside, but the interesting stuff comes from the speakers.

Bible Study

How you get to band practice when your parents disapprove of the devil’s music.

Blackberry Smoke

Not a local band, but this seems like a cocktail or barbecue sauce one might find at our neighborhood smoked meat emporium, local flavor procured from the local bramble.

Supermissive

Passive-aggressive taken to a new level? Or an acceptance letter from your dream publisher?

 

Updated exciting announcement: My comic haunted house flash fiction story “Aunt Clara’s House” has been accepted as one of 100+ stories by 100+ authors in Itty Bitty Writing Space, a print and e-book anthology to be released in June 2019. The Kickstarter had a wildly successful launch, allowing the addition of 4 more authors and receiving enough pledges to a 48-hour library benefit to provide 256 books to libraries. The campaign continues through February 21 and there are many wonderful premiums available at all levels, even $1. Learn more and back the campaign here.

One last thing: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 2, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Happy Groundhog Day! Much of the country has had enough winter for several years already. Here in Seattle, we might get a little bit this week. Do rodent shadows make any difference? Probably not, but Rodent Shadows is a band name I would write about if it appeared in the listings. As it is, I’m happy to present these actual names:

Bird Streets

What we call the sky is actually an organized grid of flight paths for our feathered friends.

Corrosion of Conformity

Trying to be like everyone else will leave you pitted and seized up. Your favorite loud music can clean all that crud away and help you start anew as your own self.

Flesh Produce

St. Paul might say this is another word for “sin” but I can’t help imagining a meatball tree.

Freckle

I have a special fondness for names that shine a spotlight on a single body part. This really zooms in on one adorable spot, rarely celebrated for itself alone.

Slugs

Local flavor at its localest (but don’t taste them), humble denizens of every Northwest garden and forest, rasping away at the greenery. Listen closely.

 

Updated exciting announcement: Last week, I shared that my comic haunted house flash fiction story “Aunt Clara’s House” had been accepted as one of 100 stories by 100 authors in Itty Bitty Writing Space, a print and e-book anthology to be released in June 2019. The Kickstarter had a wildly successful launch, allowing the addition of 4 more authors and receiving enough pledges to a 48-hour library benefit to provide at least 250 books to libraries. The campaign continues through February 21 and there are many wonderful premiums available. Learn more and back the campaign here.

One last thing: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 26, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The downside of living in a city with a lively music scene is that I get to miss multiple cool shows every night of the week. And sometimes the performers outnumber the audience, which I think was the case at the excellent event I attended last night. But if you draw even one person, they chose you over everything else and that’s a win. These bands deserve more than one audience member each on the strength of their names alone:

1st Saint Street

Three distinct words abbreviate to a numeral followed by three STs in a row. (Five years ago when I saw a sign for a storage place with a burned-out O, I read it as Saint Rage and a new garage band and superhero were born. Others went immediately to Street Rage, which is also valid but they have to write their own book.)

Devil’s Club Darlings

Local flavor! If you don’t know the plant, just remember not to dosey-do too close unless you’re really into thorns.

Lucy in Disguise

Behind that false mustache … As a person who has trouble understanding sung lyrics, I appreciate this mis-hearing that seems straightforward in print but becomes clear when read aloud.

Reality Check

RGK + the Alternative Facts

Although not on the same bill, they’re playing on the same night, which seems like commentary on our times. Will the former counter the latter?

 

 

Exciting announcement: my comic haunted house flash fiction story “Aunt Clara’s House” has been accepted as one of 100 stories by 100 authors in Itty Bitty Writing Spaces, a print and e-book anthology to be released in June 2019. The Kickstarter goes live next week and will offer cool premiums like a donation of a print copy to the library of the supporter’s choice. Learn all about it and get updates by signing up for the newsletter here.

One last thing: my new year’s resolution was to start a quarterly author newsletter, to include what I’m writing and reading, plus highlights from this blog and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 20, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Yesterday we noticed at almost 5 pm that it wasn’t quite dark yet! Although we still have a lot of it to get through, winter will once again not be permanent. That deserves celebration, and so do these band names:

Green Floyd

At once simple and sly, this one conveys who they are tributing while also nodding to the Northwest’s eco and cannabis cultures.

GryffinCore

One of the best Potter-themed band names I’ve seen. Perfect to the point of, “Why didn’t I think of that?” I also love the idea of Hogwarts students from different houses forming bands like punk teenagers everywhere.

Miserable chillers

Reminding us that in spite of recent unseasonable weather and increasing daylight, it’s still winter. Wallow in it.

Moose Almighty

Evokes Bullwinkle, and is also a better clean swear than the movie title it’s based on.

Robot Sunsets

If the AIs start enjoying day’s end with each other, we’re either saved or our days are numbered.

One last thing: my new year’s resolution was to start a quarterly author newsletter, to include what I’m writing and reading, plus highlights from this blog. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 12, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The forecast calls for five days of sunshine! In January! There has to be a catch. It still gets dark pretty early, though, so even nice weather won’t keep you out of the clubs, where you might hear a well-named band. Some fine examples:

Fahrenheist

Now we know why it gets cold in winter: clever thieves swipe the degrees.

The Gutter Daisies

Given half a chance, beauty finds a way to bloom even in filth.

Howlin’ Rain

This is more like what we expect from a Seattle January, though perhaps we’ve already had enough.

Jet///Lag

Chosen for the symbolic lag built into the spelling.

Night Hikes

Probably not a popular winter activity, though it gets dark so early, you could have your walk in the woods and get back to town before the first band finishes sound check.

One last thing: my new year’s resolution is to start a quarterly author newsletter, which will include what I’m writing and reading, plus highlights from this blog. First issue goes out tomorrow! Sign up here.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 5, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

And so into a new year! I hope you have as much to look forward to in 2019 as I do. If nothing else, we’ll always have band names. Such as:

Artemis Moon

Luna God

I’m a friend of the moon and an admirer of classical pantheons, so what luck to find two moon-deity names in one week! Based on a quick listen, they would fit nicely on the same bill, too.

Beast Folk

This feels gentler and friendlier than werewhatevers, but that may be what they want us to think.

Los Bongquistadors

Weed lends itself to puns, but this one is masterful, even if that’s all the conquering they manage to accomplish.

New Bloom

The little poem we need now. Repeat after me: the days are getting longer. Spring will come. (I saw a tree already in early bloom.)

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 29, 2018

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

And so we reach the end of another year, rich in family ties, author events, and most of all, band names, which haven’t let me down yet. I trust 2019 will bring more of the same and hope you will come along for the ride! These five names have the honor of ringing out 2018:

Detönatör

I like how the decorative umlauts turn the Os into yelling mouths. Also, my sister-in-law used to own a late-’60s vintage Ford Falcon that came with a Detonators bumper sticker that helped sell the car. This is not them but the nostalgia made me smile.

Drab Majesty

Higher than shabby chic, higher even than genteel poverty. True royalty requires no adornment.

Phood

Respelling the opening phoneme draws attention to the double vowel and to the importance of daily sustenance.

The Suffers

I never noticed before, but by accident of spelling, “suffer” is a verb that looks like a noun, one who suffs. Which sounds like sough, a verb for what trees do in the wind.

Trash Cult

If something is important enough to inspire worship, is it still trash? Or is everything that inspires worship ultimately trash?