Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 14, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This weekend was somehow so busy, it’s almost over and I’m just starting my blog! You add two extra errands to a Saturday and it all goes kerflooey. Lucky for all of us, there are always plenty of great band names, no matter when I get around to writing about them. For example:

Audiorotic

Wordplay about sound plays twice. And sound can be sexy (making it, hearing it), alone or with others.

Informal Society

A rather formal way of describing a bunch of punks getting together to make a din.

Pg. 99

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably going to finish the book.

Sleepspent

When you nap so hard, you’re tired again.

This American Knife

Public radio, weaponized. Need to be on a bill with past honorees Ira’s Glasses.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 6, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m back! Didja miss me? The writers’ conference had some interesting and encouraging panels, but the greatest value came from hanging out and cementing real-life friendships with other authors. I even had a long conversation with an illustrator about band names. And that’s why you’re here, right? I hereby present this week’s winners:

The Movielife

Like real life but with all the boring parts removed and your hair always looks good even when you’re fleeing dire peril.

Sick City Vultures

I chose this due to a misprint that listed “Slick City Vultures,” but the real name also holds up and encourages multiple interpretations. Ultra-cool urban scavengers? Scavengers who are under the weather (perhaps because urban carrion is not as wholesome as the country variety)? Or maybe lawyers?

Space Basil

A rhyme, a pun, and an actual science experiment walk into a bar …

Two Minute Hate

Could be a Nineteen Eighty-Eour reference. I prefer my first interpretation, that an angry punk rock song is the best way to get your loathing out. You’ll feel better afterwards.

The What’ve Beens

Peculiar yet grammatical phrasing for things that really existed, whether or not they still do.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. The first issue came out in January and if all goes well, the second might come out tomorrow. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Review: Don’t Read This Book

Don't Read This BookDon’t Read This Book (2019 Not A Pipe Publishing) by Benjamin Gorman

At once hilarious and heartbreaking, this novel uses fantasy monsters and rollicking comedy to make sophisticated philosophical and political points about identity and meaning. A tall order that Don’t Read This Book fulfills, and then some.

The story is set in our familiar world, but with one difference: all the monsters and magical creatures of myth and legend are real, hiding among humans … and preying on them. They have long ago formed a governing body with rules that prevent the various creature factions from attacking each other. They meet annually in Las Vegas for a convention. Bel (vampire) and Nando (werewolf) are buddy cops, tasked with capturing and punishing monsters who break the rules. But now they have a new unofficial assignment: rescue a kidnapped human writer and keep her—and her manuscript—away from the necromancer who would use this book to destroy modern civilization.

It would be a spoiler to reveal why he believes a novel could do this, but it has a lot to do with what gives life meaning and how that differs depending on who you are. Lena, the writer in question, exists at an intersection of identities: Black, Latina, lesbian, Millennial…Oregonian. She begins the story full of doubt and fear but under the influence and protection of her unlikely rescuers, she rediscovers her voice and power. Her heartbreaks and triumphs felt real and I couldn’t help rooting for her.

In addition to Las Vegas, Gorman makes good use of real-life settings in Ireland, Wales, Scotland, England, and France for scenes of narrow escapes and monster battles. Also like the real world, his monster population includes literal internet trolls, flinging flaming poo and thriving on chaos. Most real of all, it takes all the good guys working together to achieve their goal. Still, my favorite character and the true hero of the piece is Josef, a faceless clay golem who punches Nazis. Go, Josef!

Until April 19, 2019, you can pre-order your copy (and consider getting one for your local library) using the Kickstarter here! Or ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore, or order from Amazon here.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 23, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m on vacation!!! Next week I will be heading down to Portland for the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference. I have never been to this kind of event before; I expect it to be overwhelming but fun. In addition to hobnobbing with my fellow wizards at workshops and presentations, I get to sign books with (and attend a panel by) other Not A Pipe Publishing authors, at least one of whom I will be meeting in person for the first time. The only downside: I will be away from the blog next weekend. Fortunately, this week’s crop of band names is strong enough to carry us through till next time. Catch you in April!

Be Forest

A gentle command to be one with nature, this also sounds like a superlative preposition denoting a point earlier than which one cannot go.

Delicate Steve

Only a man secure in himself would call himself delicate.

Fell from the Ship

A most poetic euphemism, previously unknown to me. I chose it from the listings on Friday afternoon, intrigued by the implied action and drama. Friday night, we watched two short films that came with the Blu Ray of Orphée by Jean Cocteau (La villa Santo Sospir and a filmed interview with Cocteau). In one of them, he spoke of old friends who had passed on. Whatever he said in French was subtitled “fell from the ship.”

Fragile Weapons

The legendary sword that shatters when used with less than pure motives.

Hand Habits

Could be nervous tics, like nail biting, finger drumming, or hair twirling. Could as easily be practiced behaviors, like instrument fingering, ball handling, or drum rudiments.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues. Next one comes out in April. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 16, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

OK, I don’t want to jinx it, but the weather forecast seems to say our sacrifice of an hour was effective and winter is beating a retreat! It’s been a rough week but it seems to have been worth it. We at Square Pig HQ are still recovering, but if you’re back on your feet, consider celebrating with a well-named band like one of these:

Amyl and the Sniffers

Before smelling an unmarked substance, remember your chemistry lab technique because it might be mustard … or ammonia.

The Antlers

I have a special fondness for both animal and body-part names, so an animal body-part name stands out. Antlers are a special case: big and showy, they are shed and regrown every year. A fresh start.

The Brook & the Bluff

Scenic natural features reminding us that outdoors is a thing and it might be warm enough to go there. Don’t fall in and don’t fall off.

Space Vacation

This was my dream until I learned about space sickness. Even if I didn’t get it, you know somebody would. There are certain things you don’t want floating around in zero-G.

Zeal & Ardor

Implies an entire alphabet of enthusiasm, backward and forward.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues. Next one comes out in April. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 9, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Maybe if we all sacrifice an hour, the snow gods will be appeased enough to leave us alone until next winter. If that doesn’t work, turn up the music and dance. Neither snow nor sleet will keep us from our favorite band names:

Blood, Fire and Rainwater

Blood and Fire Hallelujah

Bookplate found in an old family diary

 

A heady cocktail that shouldn’t mix but does. Hallelujah.

Cat Valley

A writer’s paradise. Come for the fur, stay for the purr.

Dusty Cubby

The poignancy of one thing ending so another can start. Put on your backpack and leave the dust and crumbs of kindergarten behind.

Pragmatic Chaos

Evokes Keith Moon: strategic deployment of musical forces in service to the illusion of wildness.

Salt Lick

Last summer, we encountered a sculpture in Baker City, OR, cast from a salt lick shaped by critters obtaining minerals. Two great monosyllables, better together at the intersection of nature and art.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 2, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

When I started this blog back in 2010, it had nothing whatever to do with my fiction writing beyond a personal bias toward sci-fi and fantasy themed band names. That changed when I happened to spy a sign on a local mini-storage with a burned out O. ST RAGE seemed like the name of either a superhero or a rock band, so I made it both. That turned into my first published novel, a garage-rock fairy tale titled The Gospel According to St Rage. The book is now in edits for an updated, enhanced second edition from Not A Pipe Publishing, due out later this year along with its sequel, Barbara and the Rage Brigade. I’m having so much fun working with these characters again! Read to the end to subscribe to my quarterly newsletter and keep up with news about these and other books. Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names, such as these fine examples:

Alfredo Ghosts

Who ya gonna call? Obviously, your favorite Italian restaurant.

Bodies on the Beach

What kind of movie is this, bikini dance party or disaster? OR BOTH!? Beach Blanket Tsunami.

Mansionair

Cash poor, house rich.

Prying Free

Oysters, mussels, hard hearts and closed minds about to open.

Spendtime Palace

Sounds like an oddly translated name for a vacation resort or kids’ TV show. (The listings lost a comma, so for a moment I thought there was a band called Ceramic Animal Spendtime Palace, which was like the too-long psychedelic band name of my dreams. Turns out I featured Ceramic Animal on September 1, 2018.)

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.