Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 16, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I have an appointment at Bloodworks NW this afternoon, so no mosh pit for me tonight. But my fictional songwriter protagonist and I did write a song about blood donation, which I am happy to share:

Please donate if eligible! But if you’re not a pint low, find a well-named band to support, like maybe one of these:

Atrocity Girl

Is urban women rocking out a war crime?

Convent Bonfires

I like the rhyming first syllables followed by similar consonant sounds. But I have to wonder–are the nuns having a folksy outdoor worship time, or are they plotting to dismantle the patriarchy, then destroying the evidence?

Montlake Traffic

When you have to wait while a single boat goes through, pour your frustration into a really loud song. (There’s no localer flavor than some kind of bridge traffic, and Montlake is the one I happen to cross the most.)


I love the qualifier on an already lukewarm adjective. Also, I gather the band includes or is entirely made up of middle-schoolers, an age when okay-ish might be as good as things get but being in a band would surely help.


For Halloween, I went as the aforementioned songwriter protagonist going as my other, wizard-girl protagonist. I made myself a long, hooded wizard cloak, which I know is different from a robe, but close enough.


Cover art by Maggie Gauntt

Shameless Self-Promotion: Barbara and the Rage Brigade, sequel to garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage, releases next Tuesday, November 19! Paperback and Kindle editions are available for pre-order now, online or from your favorite independent bookshop. Join me for the launch party at The Neverending Bookshop on Saturday, November 23! In addition to reading from the book, I plan to perform the entire St. Rage catalog of eleven songs, because what’s a party without music?

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

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