Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

On with the band names! If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we look forward to less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

Casual Panic
Informally losing your cool, in jeans and T-shirt; or if business casual panic, in khakis and a polo. (Needs to be on a bill with Panic Fancy, featured here a month ago!)

Crüd Güns
Like SuperSoakers, but filled with disgusting gunk instead of water. The umlauts are a nice nod to metal tradition.

Dark Sparkler
Seeming opposites that rhyme. A magical firework for daytime use? Or just a flash of that dark energy we hear tell of.

Girlgoyle
Why be merely pretty when you can be grotesque?

Glass Noose
Fragile and theoretically easy to escape if it doesn’t cut your throat when broken. Also a nice play on glasnost, a fitting coincidence so soon after Gorbachev’s death.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)