Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

On with the band names. If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we look forward to less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

Bazooka Sharkz
Has the cartoony-violent feel of 10-year-olds inventing increasingly ridiculous weapons: sharks with bazookas that shoot sharks …

ghostpets
Those small, furry family members stay with us long after they’re gone. (My author bio implies that I believe my house is haunted by four feline ghosts. Not saying I really do, but this morning, we found a pair of socks in the middle of the living room for no apparent reason.)

Instant Crush
Far more likely than actual love at first sight.

Nowhere Fast
Northwest punk rock loser pride, right there. It’s not a race but we’ll get there first.

The Vaxxines
Perfects the vibe of retro girl-group (or punk group) + right exactly this moment.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)