Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 15, 2022

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

For now, there are still enough shows scheduled for me to forage up a blog’s worth of band names. Whew! I would rather not have to go back to retrospectives, but I would even more rather people stay safe and healthy. Whichever, I’ll be lifting up band names every week. Hit the follow button over there on the right and never miss a post!

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your upgraded mask, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Another Magic
This speaks to me as a fantasy writer playing with the idea of regional or generational styles of magic. Why would there be only one kind?

Coral Grief
A poetic and synesthetic idea, that grief comes in different colors. Or maybe reefs are mourning their losses. Poignant either way.

Disco Fries
Glittery potato snacks ruling the dance floor.

Spud Cannon
Personal nostalgia hit. A potato cannon was part of many of our extended-family 4th of July celebrations. I wonder how many (non-glittery) potatoes were launched into Holmes Harbor on those occasions.

Vile Creature
“Vile” is right up there with “loathsome” on my list of favorite adjectives. You’re left to imagine the monster for yourself–much scarier than being told or shown in detail.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 8, 2022

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

I’m usually the optimistic one in any group, but even I am wondering how soon live music will be shut down again. A couple of this week’s featured bands have already had their show postponed. But as long as bands with names are playing out, I promise to sift through the listings and share the shiniest nuggets here. And if the clubs have to shut down, I will return to the treasure house of past blog posts for all that retrospective goodness. Hit the follow button over there on the right and never miss a post!

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your upgraded mask, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Crawlspace
I love band names that lift up and celebrate the mundane or even unpleasant. This is the last place anyone wants to go but a key piece of domestic infrastructure.

The Fun Police
Who you call when your neighbors are having too much fun or you’re not having enough.

Goat Club
After a week of clearing blackberries from vacant lots, goats like to go out on the weekend and hear their favorite bands. See last week’s post for what they do on Sundays.

The Leak
When stuff gets out that you didn’t intend, into the crawlspace or onto the airwaves, it makes a mess but leads to repairs you didn’t know you needed.

Wilting
It doesn’t convey the power of a great show, but the aftermath, droopy and spent.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first thirteen issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 1, 2022

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

As we we enter 2022 (with guarded hopes and low expectations), I wish you a satisfying year of small comforts, surprising joys, good health, and warm connections. With the added bonus of excellent band names. I plan to be here every week and invite you to join me! Hit the follow button and never miss a post.

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Clean Lines
Start the year with pleasing simplicity (and maybe dialogue without so many F-bombs).

The Elegant Sadness Ensemble
If you must grieve, why not do it beautifully dressed?

Goat Sanctuary
God’s critters, chewing on the pews and jumping up on the altar and bleating in the choir.

Lysol
Punk rock is a disinfectant.

The Rare Forms
Shapes you don’t see just every day. (Appropriately, they’re on the same bill with Clean Lines.)

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. The next one comes out this month! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 25, 2021

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

The Square Pig is taking the weekend off. Enjoy this holiday-themed retrospective from December 2020 and be sure to come back next week for a new post in the new year!

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Chris Mess
(November 17, 2012) Funny how you don’t see anyone starting a movement to put the mess back in Christmas.

Common Holly
(December 14, 2019) Pretty, Christmas-y, invasive, functionally immortal. (Not a seasonal act, either, but well timed.)

Deer Leader
(December 12, 2015) It looks like a cute play on what they call North Korea’s supreme leader. It’s actually about Rudolph.

The Donner Vixens
(December 24, 2011) Christmas-y, yet of questionable taste in so many ways! (Insert your own cannibal joke here.) I heard this week that if Santa’s reindeer are as usually portrayed, with full antlers in mid-winter, they’re all female. So I really hope this is a girl group.

Electric NoNo
(December 12, 2015) A warning to pet owners: be sure to keep your cats, dogs, hamsters, wombats, etc. from chewing on the tree lights!

Gentle Bender
(December 12, 2015) This one makes a neat turn from beloved animal star to a lonely Christmas Eve, listening to Darlene Love and drinking toasts to absent friends until you quietly pass out under the tree.

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. The next one comes out in January 2022! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 18, 2021

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

This may be my last post of 2021, what with Christmas falling on my usual blogging day and all. As we wrap up another chaotic year, I hope Santa brings you what you need. I offer this stockingful of carefully selected band names for your enjoyment.

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Hostilities
Openly naming the obstacle to peace on Earth and at many family holiday gatherings.

Moontricks
Our big bright satellite is always going through a phase of playing pranks. (I featured moon-themed band names for the entire month of October 2020–28 of them. Happy to welcome number 29 to the club.)

Saint Hussy
You never know who will turn out to be holy. God is forever choosing nobodies, losers, and outcasts to lift up the lowly and cast the mighty from their thrones.

Trash Sound Conglomerate
 I like the low-rent grandeur of what I guess is a cleverly rearranged garbage company name. Our local large body of water gifts us with so many potential band names.

The Unknowns
This one fits into one of my favorite categories, Northwest Loser Pride. “We don’t care if you haven’t heard of us. Here’s some music to bring you joy.”

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. The next one comes out in January 2022! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 11, 2021

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

Readers new to the blog should know I am also a novelist. My fiction writing and band-name obsession collided in my first published book, the garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage. Yesterday, The Protagonist Speaks featured an interview with main character Barbara AKA St. Rage. Get to know Barbara in her own words here. St. Rage may be a fictional band, but their music and merch are real! Suitable for gift-giving–items ordered by December 13 should arrive in time for Christmas.

Meanwhile, I am here every week to provide the gift of memorable band names. As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Ex-Florist
A divorce so messy it splashes onto all the wedding vendors.

Fuzz
I have a soft (possibly fuzzy) spot for monosyllabic band names. This one evokes both cuddly softness and noisy distortion.

Okey Dokey
I like the unrelenting positivity of this old-timey expression. It’s so square that using it as a band name takes it all the way back around to cool.

Riot Earp
If things got even more out of hand at the OK Corral.

Spacewalk
Who do you listen to when you’re working outside your ship?

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. The next one comes out in January 2022! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 4, 2021

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

 

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I did not go to shows at bars when I was young. I did not even know that was a thing one could do. I got to see quite a few big-name acts in large venues back then, but the joy of a small local act in a small local venue was something I discovered later in life. And I miss it! Especially after seeing this great new Dead Bars video. For now, I will enjoy shows vicariously through nightlife listings and the band names I find there.

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Succeeding beyond all expectations, or making a disaster out of playing with matches? (I am currently writing about a wizard whose first experience with magic was the latter, only with a fire spell instead of matches. He is scarred … and extra careful.)
 
Part of the interstate highway system reserved for Godzilla.
 
Local and seasonal flavor on a misty day. An ethereal peak veiling the solid one.
 
The monosyllable spotlights a mundane household object, walked-on and taken for granted but finally getting the attention it deserves.
 
Flavoring your favorite non-figurative baked goods.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 27, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

I hope you had a peaceable and satisfying Thanksgiving, however you celebrated. We had a small but beloved group at the table (and a lovely roast duck, if I do say so myself). The celebration continues this afternoon, when some of us from Square Pig HQ will venture out to donate blood, a perfect opportunity to share one my favorite St. Rage songs:

Meanwhile, I’m thankful to eke out another post with five more band names! As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

If I’m at someone’s house, I will befriend the pets. I’m fine with cats and dogs, but I never know what to say to the parakeets.
 
Cleverly slipping cannabis into the turkey stuffing to stop the political arguments before they start. Now everyone’s in a happy food coma amid the wreckage of pies.
 
The wide-eyed look of pleasant surprise? Or the exclamation when you can’t unsee something dreadful?
 
A dedicated band of postal mollusks, delivering our letters … eventually.
 
Wearing a tailored suit and robbing with a fountain pen.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 20, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

It seems like Thanksgiving is taking a lot of people by surprise this year. Easter, I can understand, but Thanksgiving more or less stays put. That said, I admit to thinking, “Already? Didn’t we just do this?” But I am thankful for band names and live music. In searching the listings this week, I was reminded that one of my favorite local bands, Dead Bars, has a sold-out show on Thanksgiving Eve with past Square Pig honorees Bottlenose Koffins and Dusty Cubby. If you’re lucky enough to go, I want to hear about it!

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Bathtub Kin
If you were ever bathed alongside a sibling or cousin, this homemade hooch is for you.
When religion openly claims its title as the opiate of the masses.
 
When you can’t afford an entire houseboat.
 
The pun turns something strong into something falling apart.
 
It turns out magic is real, but only if you have all the pieces of the puzzle. There’s only one or two missing here.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 13, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

Wow, week 2 of all new material! While I am not personally quite ready to go out in crowds, I am excited to see live music emerging from a long hibernation, and hope this winter doesn’t force another pause. As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days.

Backwhen
The perennial destination of the Wayback Machine.

The Earthlings
Once upon a time, I got curious about the root of the word “earth.” Turns out, it comes from an old, old word meaning “soil.” The word “human” comes from the same root as “humus”–again, soil. We humans are dirt people. We are earthlings.

God Awful
If God is good, how awful can this be? (There are at least 3 bands using this name. This iteration appears to be a one-off for a specific event, but it got my attention.)

Medium Build
The main character of my garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage describes herself as “a medium size white girl with medium-length medium-brown hair.” She starts the book invisible. But when the average and ordinary start to make some noise, watch out!

You Said Strange
I want to hear the conversation before and after this … objection? Delighted exclamation? How far beyond strange did the situation go, and was it good strange or the other kind?

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first eleven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)