Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 17, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I took a break last weekend and tomorrow looks busy, so I’m trying out blogging on a Friday because I’d rather not skip two weeks in a row. These band names won’t honor themselves!

Beehive

Old-school hairdo and warm hum of the amp when the song is over.

FRENSHIP

True comrades don’t judge on spelling.

Muppet Fetish

As long as the Muppet gives consent and you don’t mind cookie crumbs on the sheets…

Released from Quiet

The sounds will set you free.

Spooky Mansion

You wouldn’t want to live there but might be fun to visit: pleasantly thrilling rather than threateningly haunted.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 4, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20190504_122734May the Fourth be with you! I borrowed a Star Wars shirt and spent part of the day at MoPOP, viewing the Pearl Jam exhibit (recommended!) and attending the awards ceremony for Write Out of This World, a science fiction and fantasy short story writing contest for students in grades 3-12. I had the privilege of being a judge this year, and I was very impressed. The future of speculative fiction is in good hands. But I hurried home afterward (Monorail!) to celebrate these band names:

The Bouncing Souls

Evokes the boundless energy of teenage punks, perhaps pogo-ing in new sneakers. (Said to be the favorite band of longtime Square Pig fave Dead Bars, too!)

Carpool Tunnel

Change one vowel sound and it still makes sense. My arm hurts when I take the HOV lane underground.

iamamiwhoami

Begins in confidence, second guesses, ends up lost. (Technically not a band, but an audio-visual project of musician ionnalee.)

Keroscenery

Light a lamp. Look around.

Motorcoat

Cross a bus with watercraft and you get a self-drying jacket with a fan in it, like in Back to the Future.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 27, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s Independent Bookstore Day! If you’re participating in the bookstore crawl, may I suggest timing your visit to The Neverending Bookshop between 2 and 4 p.m. That’s when I’ll be there, hand-selling some of my favorite books along with other local authors. There will even be live music, with SeaStar performing from 4-5 p.m. I plan to stick around. That’s an example of a name with good local flavor, and a good lead-in to the main purpose of this blog:

Flight Mongoose

Should we tell it it doesn’t have wings or let it find out the hard way?

Flock of Dimes

Now we know the collective noun for coins. (I would have guessed handful). I wonder if this band has a twin called March of Seagulls.

Highland Eyeway

This clever Spoonerism turns a scenic drive into an elevated scenic viewpoint.

Modern Love Child

Two common phrases overlap and result in a logical outcome. And the hinge is love.

Tiny Stills

The latest bar fad: you are given the ingredients and apparatus to distill your own shot.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 20, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Stores have been stocking Easter candy for the last 9 or 10 weeks. If you haven’t bought yours yet, now is the time. And if you didn’t know Easter is tomorrow, don’t feel bad; it should be a surprise! Meanwhile, let me fill your basket with these goodies:

Crowdsource Choir

Perfect name for a great concept: just show up and sing together. Good for your health, good for your soul. I worry that amateur group singing will be lost as fewer people go to church, so this is an encouraging development.

Feeling People Feeling People

As long as it’s consensual, a positive counterpart to the “hurt people hurt people” formula. Empathy and touch promote health and healing.

Sour Girl

Sweet Creature

Happily on the same bill, these two form a kind of reverse “Beauty and the Beast.” They balance each other, the creature sweet enough for both of them, the girl skeptical enough to avoid scams and abuse.

Swervedriver

Hold on! The change in vowel sounds from one syllable to the next feels like a swerve but the repeated V sound provides traction.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 14, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This weekend was somehow so busy, it’s almost over and I’m just starting my blog! You add two extra errands to a Saturday and it all goes kerflooey. Lucky for all of us, there are always plenty of great band names, no matter when I get around to writing about them. For example:

Audiorotic

Wordplay about sound plays twice. And sound can be sexy (making it, hearing it), alone or with others.

Informal Society

A rather formal way of describing a bunch of punks getting together to make a din.

Pg. 99

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably going to finish the book.

Sleepspent

When you nap so hard, you’re tired again.

This American Knife

Public radio, weaponized. Need to be on a bill with past honorees Ira’s Glasses.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 6, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m back! Didja miss me? The writers’ conference had some interesting and encouraging panels, but the greatest value came from hanging out and cementing real-life friendships with other authors. I even had a long conversation with an illustrator about band names. And that’s why you’re here, right? I hereby present this week’s winners:

The Movielife

Like real life but with all the boring parts removed and your hair always looks good even when you’re fleeing dire peril.

Sick City Vultures

I chose this due to a misprint that listed “Slick City Vultures,” but the real name also holds up and encourages multiple interpretations. Ultra-cool urban scavengers? Scavengers who are under the weather (perhaps because urban carrion is not as wholesome as the country variety)? Or maybe lawyers?

Space Basil

A rhyme, a pun, and an actual science experiment walk into a bar …

Two Minute Hate

Could be a Nineteen Eighty-Eour reference. I prefer my first interpretation, that an angry punk rock song is the best way to get your loathing out. You’ll feel better afterwards.

The What’ve Beens

Peculiar yet grammatical phrasing for things that really existed, whether or not they still do.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. The first issue came out in January and if all goes well, the second might come out tomorrow. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Review: Don’t Read This Book

Don't Read This BookDon’t Read This Book (2019 Not A Pipe Publishing) by Benjamin Gorman

At once hilarious and heartbreaking, this novel uses fantasy monsters and rollicking comedy to make sophisticated philosophical and political points about identity and meaning. A tall order that Don’t Read This Book fulfills, and then some.

The story is set in our familiar world, but with one difference: all the monsters and magical creatures of myth and legend are real, hiding among humans … and preying on them. They have long ago formed a governing body with rules that prevent the various creature factions from attacking each other. They meet annually in Las Vegas for a convention. Bel (vampire) and Nando (werewolf) are buddy cops, tasked with capturing and punishing monsters who break the rules. But now they have a new unofficial assignment: rescue a kidnapped human writer and keep her—and her manuscript—away from the necromancer who would use this book to destroy modern civilization.

It would be a spoiler to reveal why he believes a novel could do this, but it has a lot to do with what gives life meaning and how that differs depending on who you are. Lena, the writer in question, exists at an intersection of identities: Black, Latina, lesbian, Millennial…Oregonian. She begins the story full of doubt and fear but under the influence and protection of her unlikely rescuers, she rediscovers her voice and power. Her heartbreaks and triumphs felt real and I couldn’t help rooting for her.

In addition to Las Vegas, Gorman makes good use of real-life settings in Ireland, Wales, Scotland, England, and France for scenes of narrow escapes and monster battles. Also like the real world, his monster population includes literal internet trolls, flinging flaming poo and thriving on chaos. Most real of all, it takes all the good guys working together to achieve their goal. Still, my favorite character and the true hero of the piece is Josef, a faceless clay golem who punches Nazis. Go, Josef!

Until April 19, 2019, you can pre-order your copy (and consider getting one for your local library) using the Kickstarter here! Or ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore, or order from Amazon here.