Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.
Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!
The big excitement this past week was the re-release of my Seattle-set garage-rock fairy tale, The Gospel According to St. Rage on Tuesday, followed by the radio debut of the titular garage band on Wednesday. DJ Barnabas of the show Community Noise on KBFG 107.3 FM embedded “Huge Guy in the Mosh Pit” into a fun and eclectic playlist. It was an honor to be programmed next to Dead Bars. If you want to donate your own music to the Community Noise collection for possible radio play, email CommunityNoise.email@example.com.
And now, on with the band names!
Where your whiz-bang sci-fi tech might not be obsolete before the book is published.
Perhaps the grossest hair treatment since egg shampoo.
How you address your commanding officer when they haven’t told you their preferred pronouns and you don’t want to be the first to ask.
“Judge me by my size, do you?”
They (and your cat) would appreciate it if you didn’t vacuum every day. They might even agree to turn down the music.
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