Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 8, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s that time of year when I just want to stay indoors and bake Christmas cookies! For the sake of these and other fine bands, some of us need to venture out to shows. Maybe now that it’s not quite so cold…

Lost in the Tracks

Subliminal messages, small items dropped in a subway tunnel, or the state of being totally into an album.

nothing, nowhere.

Reply to a text asking what are you doing and where are you going? Or: scene right before the Big Bang.

Saving Abel

Time-traveler wanting to solve the problem of violence goes back and stays Cain’s hand. Returns to the future and finds nothing has changed, except Genesis now says Abel killed Cain.

The Sometimes Island

At high tide, a shallows. At low tide, a peninsula. At just-right tide …

St. Panther

Feline saint seems like an oxymoron. (As the inventor of a fictional garage band (and superhero) called St. Rage, I like finding other saints in the listings.)

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 18, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My big accomplishments this week were to do a reading and book talk about my young adult fantasy novel Daughter of Magic at a local retirement home (because there is no maximum age for YA lit); schedule an author event at The Neverending Bookshop for October 6; request a review from a book blogger (who actually responded!); and submit to Not A Pipe Publishing the sequel to my garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St Rage in hopes that they’ll want to take up both books. It still feels a bit like playing author but it’s getting more real. I hope it never stands in the way of celebrating band names because there are so many good ones out there deserving attention. For example:

Bug Seance

If the medium starts buzzing, the spirits of insects past have gotten through and they are not happy about that can of Raid under the sink.

Never Knows Best

That one friend with the terrible ideas that everybody goes along with anyway and always regrets.

On Drugs

“Hey, thanks guys! We are…” Almost too easy and that’s why I like it.

Pout House

More juvenile but less malicious than a spite house.

Super Whatevr

Indifference raised to the highest level. They couldn’t even be bothered to provide the last vowel.

Shameless Self-Promotion: On Saturday, October 6 at 2:00 p.m., I will be reading and signing my new fantasy novel Daughter of Magic at The Neverending Bookshop. Joining me will be Mikko Azul, author of The Staff of Fire and Bone. Come say hi!

Facebook event

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 11, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Glad to see the heat wave end, if only so Your Mother Should Know can practice and record again. We were willing to tough it out up to a point in our poorly ventilated space but couldn’t face it this week. Next week for sure! Till then, let’s talk about band names:

Earlier

No matter what time you show up, they will be there ahead of you, discovering the next cool thing.

Face Mason

I love the rhyme, but if you lay bricks this way you’re bound to get mortar up your nose.

Generation Decline

We can take comfort that every generation thinks everything’s gone downhill since their day.

Insect Ark

We’re gonna need a bigger boat just for the beetles.

Thrift Store Brats

Ah, my people! Or anyway, my protagonist’s. In The Gospel According to St Rage, Barbara’s as far from a mall rat as could be. She/I even wrote a song that begins, “Went to the thrift store with my best friend.”

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 14, 2017

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’ve been on vacation this week, and spent part of the time recording two songs by St. Rage, the fictional teenage garage band featured in my debut novel The Gospel According to St Rage. (Thanks to Your Mother Should Know for sitting in for the fictional musicians.) In the book they record and release a 4-song EP, but three other songs are mentioned. We recorded one of them over a year ago: “Something of Mine,” which is about blood donation. Once these last two are finished, all three can finally get out into the world. It seems appropriate that I have an appointment to donate at Bloodworks NW this afternoon.

Blood donation precludes going out and standing up for hours, but I hope these well-named bands all draw appreciative crowds:

afterspace

Enjoying the typographical play: there is “space” but no space after “after”.

Bird Concerns

Food; water; mate; safe nesting space; clean windshield to mess up. Have I missed any?

Devoured by Flowers

From horror to beauty, the rhyme makes it an almost acceptable way to go.

ECHO OHs

Sonic and visual echoes built into the name!

Preyer

Comes across as more spiritual than predator, but someone else still gets eaten. (Also on the bill: Square Pig faves Power Skeleton!)

 

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 10, 2017

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I just noticed that it has been one year since I moved the blog to this site. Apparently the move didn’t ruin it, so that’s cause for celebration. Also about a year ago, I was preparing for the publication of my debut novel, The Gospel According to St Rage. A major plot point in the book is the EP the titular teenage garage band is recording for the members’ senior project. I used my real band Your Mother Should Know to realize the songs of the fictional band and released the St Rage EP on Bandcamp to coincide with the novel’s release. At the end of the book is a discount code for the EP. This week, someone finally used the code. St Rage made a whopping $ .74. Is that enough to buy gum?

Meanwhile, the world is full of other bands with other names. Here are a few of them:

Diogenes

Still looking for one honest man? Probably best to stay away from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Gus Clark and the Least of His Problems

I like this twist on classic X and the Y structure. Everyone has problems, but your band shouldn’t be the biggest one.

Smashing Flannel

Perfect name for a ’90s cover band, which this is. But in Seattle, flannel is almost always a smashing choice.

Speakeasy

Most everything is improved by sneakiness and secrecy, but this caught my eye for another reason. Speaking as we were of the ’90s: anyone else remember the Speakeasy internet cafe? Our free-improv group Banned Rehearsal played in their back room in 1996; the building burned in 2001 but the internet business continued. In addition to broadband internet, they also provided web hosting and email. For those such as us who were grandfathered in, they still do.

The Wild Agenda Tonight

I’m digging the humorous formality of this reference to the evening’s plans. (Mine: in bed by 10). I’m also excited by the very existence of an all female alternative punk rock band from Eastern Washington, my old stomping grounds.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 29, 2017

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m recovering from a chest cold that was bookended by two shows in which I had to sing and drum. I thought I was tired and sore after the first one merely because of staying up late and hauling gear, but now I think darker forces were at work. I wasn’t back to 100% by the second show, but felt better by the end of it, not worse. Anecdotal evidence that singing, or music in general, is good for you. What else is good for health and morale? Why, good band names, of course! Check these out:

The Falcons of Fine Dining

I’m a sucker for intentional pretentious nonsense. “Tonight’s special is squab, punched out of the sky at 200 mph, then roasted with a medley of baby vegetables.”

The New Up

Formerly known as Down. It’s a topsy turvy world.

Porcelain Raft

In my day, people worshiped the porcelain god after a rough night. Clinging to the commode for dear life seems like a more relevant analogy.

Question? No Answer

You’re going to have to work it out for yourself.

Urban Ghost

This one gets in mainly because they’re playing at the Rendezvous, which is purported to be haunted. When we played there, I never saw a ghost but two kickdrum feet mysteriously disappeared.

Honorable Mention:

Plague of Turtles

In late 2013, I started writing a short story called “St Rage” that had in its backstory a teen band called Plague of Turtles (first mentioned publicly in this post). In 2015, the story was published as the January release in the Pankhearst Singles Club, then grew into a full-length novel, The Gospel According to St Rage. Plague of Turtles remains in the backstory but the members appear in a reconstituted group called Sack o’ Hamsters, then Legion of Morons, and finally, The Greebles. Yesterday, I was delighted to learn that Plague of Turtles is no longer fictional! It tickles me no end that someone else thought this was a perfect band name.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 15, 2017

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Thank you, Seattle weather, for turning nice just in time for the Tax March, Black Lives Matter March, and Easter weekend! We’ll try not to forget this when the rain returns sooner rather than later. In addition to a basket of five splendid band names, my Easter gift to anyone reading this is a an original story. Official release is tomorrow, but go ahead and enjoy it now. Meanwhile, those band names:

3-Piece Bikini

The dapper and businesslike look for the beach.

Broke in Stereo

When you move in together to save on expenses, but neither of you has any money to begin with.

Cranky Babies

Toddlers are the original punks. Makes me think of my favorite Jonathan Richman song, “Not Yet Three.”

A Heart in the Stillness

A tiny poem for moments like Holy Saturday, when the world holds its breath.

Trapdoor Social

Introverts’ escape hatch.

Coming Soon:

On Tuesday, April 18, Your Mother Should Know is on a bill at the Sunset with Mud on My Bra and Strange Like Us. I’ll be playing drums and singing, including three songs I wrote for my novel The Gospel According to St Rage.

Facebook Event