Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 30, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #11

Even if every bar is still a dead bar and there’s still no live music, we can enjoy a morning thunderstorm. BOOM! (If you need a live music fix, KEXP is posting sessions daily. They recently premiered this session with Square Pig faves Dead Bars.) If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Power Skeleton

(October 19, 2013) I have it on good authority that October is Skeleton Awareness Month. I have a sore hip, so I’m quite aware of my own personal skeleton. When I eventually have my hips and/or knees replaced, I want them to put in a sound chip to make noise like a servo motor.

Shelter in Place

(November 9, 2019) This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse! [When I wrote this less than a year ago, I never dreamed it would become poignant.]

Sh*t Ghost

(July 17, 2016) Gross and funny and they have the most adorably disgusting logo.

Sidewalks and Skeletons

(June 22, 2019) More like trick-or-treat than end-of-school. Then again, no matter the time of year, everyone on the sidewalk has inside them a spooky, scary skeleton. (Happy coincidence: S and S is from Bradford, UK, the birthplace of my spouse’s grandfather.)

Skeletonwitch

(May 19, 2018) In case my new book [Daughter of Magic, released May 2018] does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band. [Book 2 Wizard Girl released in July, 2019. Book 3 Death’s Midwife was submitted to Not A Pipe Publishing this month and does, in fact, include an antagonist called Old Mother Bones.]

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 21, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #1

For the first time in 9.3 years of this weekly blog, there were no nightlife listings. With every bar a dead bar and every show cancelled, I’m digging into the vault to bring you a pandemic-themed retrospective. The names are still great even if the bands aren’t playing. If you are able, please buy their music and merch. And come back next week for more band names.

Catapult the DEAD

(July 11, 2015) Well, that’s one way to get rid of an inconvenient body.

The Dancing Plague of 1518

(June 25, 2016) A very specific and very weird historical reference — dancing and plague are not usually found in the same phrase. As a band name it’s long enough to approach awkwardness, which is one of my favorite categories.

Dead Bars

(October 12, 2013) I’m surprised I haven’t included this one already, though I have referenced them a couple times. I actually know the story behind the name, which grew out of drinking in bars where there was no energy or excitement, nothing going on but drinking and thinking. If these guys are playing, the venue is automatically not a dead bar anymore.

Dead by Wednesday

(June 8, 2019) RIP Pugsley Addams. She finally succeeded.

Fragile Lung

(May 14, 2016) This is the exception to the [literary] theme, unless medical texts count as literature. There’s a nice irony here in that their music is all about masterful singing, which relies on strong lungs.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 14, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20191214_123307

Woodpecker in my yard

Is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas? It’s gray and raining and my back yard is full of birds, calling and feasting; I guess they think so. Also, my brother is performing a chapter of Finnegans Wake from memory tonight. This is the sixth year in a row, so something of a December tradition by now and the reason my weekend is booked up. But I always have time to celebrate band names, no matter the weather or the season. Here are this week’s picks:

The Amber Lanterns

Warm, old-timey light in the darkness.

Common Holly

Pretty, Christmas-y, invasive, functionally immortal. (Not a seasonal act, either, but well timed.)

The Feral Folk

What free-range kids grow up to be.

Mind of Joy

Intellect meets emotion on equal terms.

Yeehaw Junction

The world capital of whoopin’ and hollerin’. (Not only is this the name of a real place, more than one band is using it. This is not the bluegrass outfit from Charleston, but the punk outfit from Richmond that has been on a bill with Square Pig faves Dead Bars!)

One last thing before you go: Through December 31, I am participating in an authors’ “newsletter hop.” Subscribe to newsletters and answer trivia questions for a chance to win prize bundles of multiple books and stories, including my fantasy novels Daughter of Magic and Wizard Girl. If you want to play, go to my Facebook page for details.

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 24, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The big excitement this past week was the re-release of my Seattle-set garage-rock fairy tale, The Gospel According to St. Rage on Tuesday, followed by the radio debut of the titular garage band on Wednesday. DJ Barnabas of the show Community Noise on KBFG 107.3 FM embedded “Huge Guy in the Mosh Pit” into a fun and eclectic playlist. It was an honor to be programmed next to Dead Bars. If you want to donate your own music to the Community Noise collection for possible radio play, email CommunityNoise.blog@gmail.com.

And now, on with the band names!

Far Flung Future

Where your whiz-bang sci-fi tech might not be obsolete before the book is published.

Meat Hair

Perhaps the grossest hair treatment since egg shampoo.

Sir Ma’am Sir

How you address your commanding officer when they haven’t told you their preferred pronouns and you don’t want to be the first to ask.

Smaller in Person

“Judge me by my size, do you?”

Your Downstairs Neighbors

They (and your cat) would appreciate it if you didn’t vacuum every day. They might even agree to turn down the music.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first three issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 4, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20190504_122734May the Fourth be with you! I borrowed a Star Wars shirt and spent part of the day at MoPOP, viewing the Pearl Jam exhibit (recommended!) and attending the awards ceremony for Write Out of This World, a science fiction and fantasy short story writing contest for students in grades 3-12. I had the privilege of being a judge this year, and I was very impressed. The future of speculative fiction is in good hands. But I hurried home afterward (Monorail!) to celebrate these band names:

The Bouncing Souls

Evokes the boundless energy of teenage punks, perhaps pogo-ing in new sneakers. (Said to be the favorite band of longtime Square Pig fave Dead Bars, too!)

Carpool Tunnel

Change one vowel sound and it still makes sense. My arm hurts when I take the HOV lane underground.

iamamiwhoami

Begins in confidence, second guesses, ends up lost. (Technically not a band, but an audio-visual project of musician ionnalee.)

Keroscenery

Light a lamp. Look around.

Motorcoat

Cross a bus with watercraft and you get a self-drying jacket with a fan in it, like in Back to the Future.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 8, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Yesterday was all taken up with authorial and social business with no time for blogging. Better late than never, I put on the blogging hat because these band names are deserving of attention:

The Bombpops

The appealing bounce of consonants off repeated vowel sounds suits the explosive sweetness that is pop punk. Very excited to hear this group at the Showbox on Thursday with Square Pig faves Dead Bars (as well as Counterpunch and headliners Strung Out.)

Fretland

Where many of us have been living for (at least) the last two years. I hear music is good for anxiety.

Immensity Crumb

This adorable oxymoron sounds like a comic character in a Dickens novel.

Scenic Route to Alaska

Is there any other kind?

Sunflower Dead

20180922_144807Perfect for the change of seasons. There’s a sunflower in my backyard that must be 11 feet tall and is not dead yet, but I wonder how long it will stand once the rains hit. (Spouse included for scale.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 24, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

You know it’s really spring when you have several days of every kind of weather, sometimes all within an hour. Kind of it to be reasonably nice for March for Our Lives, but it still seems like a good weekend for indoor activities, such as going out to hear a band (or maybe a piano recital). These names sprouted up and caught my attention:

Epic Beard Men

Exactly what it says on the label. I appreciate the grandiose description of facial hair. This could be a Blood Bowl team; I’m thinking dwarves.

Mables Marbles

Toy company, children’s book, sculptor’s output, or what Mable is losing? Regardless, it’s fun to say. (I had already chosen this before I discovered that their bass player is none other than Ronnie Rodriguez, who figures prominently in the lyrics of “Tear-Shaped Bruise” by Your Mother Should Know (I play drums) and covered here by Dead Bars.)

Mind Beams

I want this superpower: the ability to project my thoughts without having to find the right words.

Racoma

Of course I will choose one that combines my favorite music genre with the City of Destiny, where I spent my first five adult years. Bonus points for going for the simplest spelling.

Shitty Person

This reminds me of a story my husband tells about being stranded by the side of the road and the sympathetic stranger who stopped to help. He spoke the same two words, “Shit, man,” as greeting, commiseration, and farewell, and is known around our house under his nom de  superhero, ShitMan.

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.