Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 25, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #19

Good news in the midst of this live-music drought: Square Pig fave Dead Bars is releasing a live album, Live at White Eagle Hall! Pre-order and give a listen here. Since there will be no new live music for the foreseeable future (boo!), I went back to the vault and hauled up an abundant catch of summer-themed band names. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Astro Tan

(October 12, 2014) I’m always taken with how much can be done with the change of one letter — from multi-passenger conveyance to the ultimate in safe tanning. I suspect you can get away with a low protection factor while working on your star tan.

Barefoot Barnacle

(January 11, 2014) These words in proximity provoke a wince from anyone who’s spent time on Northwest beaches. But in this case, it’s the barnacle that’s barefoot. (My resident science adviser points out that all barnacles are barefoot: they plant their heads and wave their feet around to collect food. And anyway, how would you get the little shoes on?)

Big Splash Champion

(August 8, 2015) One of my most enduring memories from summer camp: a girl in my cabin, determined to win the big splash contest, performed an epic intentional belly flop that bruised several ribs but won the prize. Bragging rights have their price.

Circles Around the Sun

(October 12, 2019) The orbital dance, counterclockwise and (not) in heels. Also, technically elliptical. The spouse and I have completed 33 of these since our wedding day. [Update: My birthday is next week, at which point I will have completed 57 circles of my own.]

Dismal Tide

(July 5, 2014) Now that for-real summer is here, we might be inclined to put away one of the Northwest’s most evocative adjectives, but don’t fool yourself. Winter will be back in all its gray and rainy splendor. As for “tide,” this could be a marine usage, but maybe not. In the Church, we have Christmastide and Eastertide; I’m going to say Dismaltide is January 2 – the end of Lent.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 13, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #13

I miss live music.

I rarely got out to a show, but I liked knowing it was possible any night of the week. I especially liked playing shows, partly because the best way to discover new bands is to be on a bill with them. So today, I honor a longer list than usual: a selection of bands who have been on a bill with Your Mother Should Know. Although we never played frequently even when we were actively getting out, this is not all of them. If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

The Ancients

(August 11, 2012) I probably wouldn’t pick this name out of the listings, but it fits perfectly the band’s wildly theatrical Adventure Metal genre. These guys would be right at home with a tiny Stonehenge on stage.

Ancient Warlocks

(February 5, 2011) This appeals to my fantasy-novel side. Music and fiction are the closest to magic we can get: something out of nothing. It also evokes Spinal Tap and their tiny Stonehenge, and that makes me smile.

Black Plastic Clouds

(November 5, 2011) As if black clouds weren’t threatening enough! Any mention of black plastic reminds me of the ultimately ineffective weed barrier the previous owner of our house used in the front yard. We were digging pieces of black plastic out of the ground for years.

Curtains for You

(December 4, 2010) Full disclosure: I’d heard of this band years before I saw them at the Columbia City Theatre (which has a stage with actual curtains), and the keyboard player has visited my house. But I think I would list them even if that weren’t so. I like how the name references another era and aspect of American pop culture. (I tend to pronounce it “coitains” like the gangsters in old Bugs Bunny cartoons.) 

Dead Bars

(October 12, 2013) I’m surprised I haven’t included this one already, though I have referenced them a couple times. I actually know the story behind the name, which grew out of drinking in bars where there was no energy or excitement, nothing going on but drinking and thinking. If these guys are playing, the venue is automatically not a dead bar anymore.

Pouch

(July 2, 2011) I’ve been hearing about these guys and liked the name from the start. Pouch is one of those words that’s fun and funny to say. I hope to see more bands named for hand luggage.

The Tailenders

(February 25, 2012) This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings — and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Tyrannosaurus Grace

(August 11, 2012) This is one of those names that just sounds right. I don’t know what it is — some kind of Wesleyan dinosaur, I guess — but I like it.

Youth Rescue Mission

(February 25, 2012) Sing it with me: “My life was saved by rock and roll.”

Your Mother Should Know was already on indefinite hiatus before the lockdown but I hope we will be able to do some kind of livestream later in the summer. The next best thing is a solo outing (inning?) by my brother and bandmate Neal Kosaly-Meyer at 8 pm tonight on Facebook Live. He will play a short set of Your Mother Should Know originals and a few covers. I’ll be watching and probably singing along. Please join me!

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 30, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #11

Even if every bar is still a dead bar and there’s still no live music, we can enjoy a morning thunderstorm. BOOM! (If you need a live music fix, KEXP is posting sessions daily. They recently premiered this session with Square Pig faves Dead Bars.) If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Power Skeleton

(October 19, 2013) I have it on good authority that October is Skeleton Awareness Month. I have a sore hip, so I’m quite aware of my own personal skeleton. When I eventually have my hips and/or knees replaced, I want them to put in a sound chip to make noise like a servo motor.

Shelter in Place

(November 9, 2019) This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse! [When I wrote this less than a year ago, I never dreamed it would become poignant.]

Sh*t Ghost

(July 17, 2016) Gross and funny and they have the most adorably disgusting logo.

Sidewalks and Skeletons

(June 22, 2019) More like trick-or-treat than end-of-school. Then again, no matter the time of year, everyone on the sidewalk has inside them a spooky, scary skeleton. (Happy coincidence: S and S is from Bradford, UK, the birthplace of my spouse’s grandfather.)

Skeletonwitch

(May 19, 2018) In case my new book [Daughter of Magic, released May 2018] does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band. [Book 2 Wizard Girl released in July, 2019. Book 3 Death’s Midwife was submitted to Not A Pipe Publishing this month and does, in fact, include an antagonist called Old Mother Bones.]

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 21, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #1

For the first time in 9.3 years of this weekly blog, there were no nightlife listings. With every bar a dead bar and every show cancelled, I’m digging into the vault to bring you a pandemic-themed retrospective. The names are still great even if the bands aren’t playing. If you are able, please buy their music and merch. And come back next week for more band names.

Catapult the DEAD

(July 11, 2015) Well, that’s one way to get rid of an inconvenient body.

The Dancing Plague of 1518

(June 25, 2016) A very specific and very weird historical reference — dancing and plague are not usually found in the same phrase. As a band name it’s long enough to approach awkwardness, which is one of my favorite categories.

Dead Bars

(October 12, 2013) I’m surprised I haven’t included this one already, though I have referenced them a couple times. I actually know the story behind the name, which grew out of drinking in bars where there was no energy or excitement, nothing going on but drinking and thinking. If these guys are playing, the venue is automatically not a dead bar anymore.

Dead by Wednesday

(June 8, 2019) RIP Pugsley Addams. She finally succeeded.

Fragile Lung

(May 14, 2016) This is the exception to the [literary] theme, unless medical texts count as literature. There’s a nice irony here in that their music is all about masterful singing, which relies on strong lungs.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 14, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20191214_123307

Woodpecker in my yard

Is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas? It’s gray and raining and my back yard is full of birds, calling and feasting; I guess they think so. Also, my brother is performing a chapter of Finnegans Wake from memory tonight. This is the sixth year in a row, so something of a December tradition by now and the reason my weekend is booked up. But I always have time to celebrate band names, no matter the weather or the season. Here are this week’s picks:

The Amber Lanterns

Warm, old-timey light in the darkness.

Common Holly

Pretty, Christmas-y, invasive, functionally immortal. (Not a seasonal act, either, but well timed.)

The Feral Folk

What free-range kids grow up to be.

Mind of Joy

Intellect meets emotion on equal terms.

Yeehaw Junction

The world capital of whoopin’ and hollerin’. (Not only is this the name of a real place, more than one band is using it. This is not the bluegrass outfit from Charleston, but the punk outfit from Richmond that has been on a bill with Square Pig faves Dead Bars!)

One last thing before you go: Through December 31, I am participating in an authors’ “newsletter hop.” Subscribe to newsletters and answer trivia questions for a chance to win prize bundles of multiple books and stories, including my fantasy novels Daughter of Magic and Wizard Girl. If you want to play, go to my Facebook page for details.

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 24, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The big excitement this past week was the re-release of my Seattle-set garage-rock fairy tale, The Gospel According to St. Rage on Tuesday, followed by the radio debut of the titular garage band on Wednesday. DJ Barnabas of the show Community Noise on KBFG 107.3 FM embedded “Huge Guy in the Mosh Pit” into a fun and eclectic playlist. It was an honor to be programmed next to Dead Bars. If you want to donate your own music to the Community Noise collection for possible radio play, email CommunityNoise.blog@gmail.com.

And now, on with the band names!

Far Flung Future

Where your whiz-bang sci-fi tech might not be obsolete before the book is published.

Meat Hair

Perhaps the grossest hair treatment since egg shampoo.

Sir Ma’am Sir

How you address your commanding officer when they haven’t told you their preferred pronouns and you don’t want to be the first to ask.

Smaller in Person

“Judge me by my size, do you?”

Your Downstairs Neighbors

They (and your cat) would appreciate it if you didn’t vacuum every day. They might even agree to turn down the music.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first three issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 4, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20190504_122734May the Fourth be with you! I borrowed a Star Wars shirt and spent part of the day at MoPOP, viewing the Pearl Jam exhibit (recommended!) and attending the awards ceremony for Write Out of This World, a science fiction and fantasy short story writing contest for students in grades 3-12. I had the privilege of being a judge this year, and I was very impressed. The future of speculative fiction is in good hands. But I hurried home afterward (Monorail!) to celebrate these band names:

The Bouncing Souls

Evokes the boundless energy of teenage punks, perhaps pogo-ing in new sneakers. (Said to be the favorite band of longtime Square Pig fave Dead Bars, too!)

Carpool Tunnel

Change one vowel sound and it still makes sense. My arm hurts when I take the HOV lane underground.

iamamiwhoami

Begins in confidence, second guesses, ends up lost. (Technically not a band, but an audio-visual project of musician ionnalee.)

Keroscenery

Light a lamp. Look around.

Motorcoat

Cross a bus with watercraft and you get a self-drying jacket with a fan in it, like in Back to the Future.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 8, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Yesterday was all taken up with authorial and social business with no time for blogging. Better late than never, I put on the blogging hat because these band names are deserving of attention:

The Bombpops

The appealing bounce of consonants off repeated vowel sounds suits the explosive sweetness that is pop punk. Very excited to hear this group at the Showbox on Thursday with Square Pig faves Dead Bars (as well as Counterpunch and headliners Strung Out.)

Fretland

Where many of us have been living for (at least) the last two years. I hear music is good for anxiety.

Immensity Crumb

This adorable oxymoron sounds like a comic character in a Dickens novel.

Scenic Route to Alaska

Is there any other kind?

Sunflower Dead

20180922_144807Perfect for the change of seasons. There’s a sunflower in my backyard that must be 11 feet tall and is not dead yet, but I wonder how long it will stand once the rains hit. (Spouse included for scale.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 24, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

You know it’s really spring when you have several days of every kind of weather, sometimes all within an hour. Kind of it to be reasonably nice for March for Our Lives, but it still seems like a good weekend for indoor activities, such as going out to hear a band (or maybe a piano recital). These names sprouted up and caught my attention:

Epic Beard Men

Exactly what it says on the label. I appreciate the grandiose description of facial hair. This could be a Blood Bowl team; I’m thinking dwarves.

Mables Marbles

Toy company, children’s book, sculptor’s output, or what Mable is losing? Regardless, it’s fun to say. (I had already chosen this before I discovered that their bass player is none other than Ronnie Rodriguez, who figures prominently in the lyrics of “Tear-Shaped Bruise” by Your Mother Should Know (I play drums) and covered here by Dead Bars.)

Mind Beams

I want this superpower: the ability to project my thoughts without having to find the right words.

Racoma

Of course I will choose one that combines my favorite music genre with the City of Destiny, where I spent my first five adult years. Bonus points for going for the simplest spelling.

Shitty Person

This reminds me of a story my husband tells about being stranded by the side of the road and the sympathetic stranger who stopped to help. He spoke the same two words, “Shit, man,” as greeting, commiseration, and farewell, and is known around our house under his nom de  superhero, ShitMan.

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 20, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Not quick enough to get tickets to the Seattle Pop Punk Festival before day 1 sold out, I have enjoyed reports from afar. Almost a third of the bands are past Square Pig honorees: Botherations, Date Night with Brian, Dead Bars, The Drolls, and Stuporhero. Meanwhile, these non-festival bands made the cut this week:

Chronological Injustice

Either ageism or being born in the wrong century.

Final Body

Hint: it’s the one we die with.

The Go Aways

Lesser Seattle and the spirit of Emmett Watson live on!

The Mercy Ray

A gently beaming smile, or Tesla’s “Peace Beam” by another name?

Wrong Way at the Roundabout

When traffic gets tangled, don’t get mad; get out and dance. I also like how the alliteration isn’t obvious in the spelling.