Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Christmas week is sometimes slim pickings in terms of band names, but this time the listings were bulging like Santa’s pack. Here are a few of the gifts that spilled out:

Grain History

Fifth-grade social studies film strip, simultaneously important and boring. Bonus: this is a brand-new band playing their first show!

Half a Shadow

Is it less shadowy (diluted) than a full shadow, or more (concentrated)?

Love and Fury

AKA Righteous indignation. Not opposites, but twin motivations of many fictional characters, including my own St Rage.

PF Liars

I like that you have to say it aloud (and maybe be a certain age) to get the wordplay. Does this mean I won’t run faster, jump higher?

Runny Nose Bros.

Probably won’t be a hit video game, but any parent of two or more who has been through at least one winter will be nodding in recognition.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: Need a gift for a fantasy fan? My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women. Don’t know your favorite reader’s favorite genre? The Year of Publishing Women also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic.