Tag Archives: Not a Pipe Publishing

Review: Don’t Read This Book

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Don't Read This BookDon’t Read This Book (2019 Not A Pipe Publishing) by Benjamin Gorman

At once hilarious and heartbreaking, this novel uses fantasy monsters and rollicking comedy to make sophisticated philosophical and political points about identity and meaning. A tall order that Don’t Read This Book fulfills, and then some.

The story is set in our familiar world, but with one difference: all the monsters and magical creatures of myth and legend are real, hiding among humans … and preying on them. They have long ago formed a governing body with rules that prevent the various creature factions from attacking each other. They meet annually in Las Vegas for a convention. Bel (vampire) and Nando (werewolf) are buddy cops, tasked with capturing and punishing monsters who break the rules. But now they have a new unofficial assignment: rescue a kidnapped human writer and keep her—and her manuscript—away from the necromancer who would use this book to destroy modern civilization.

It would be a spoiler to reveal why he believes a novel could do this, but it has a lot to do with what gives life meaning and how that differs depending on who you are. Lena, the writer in question, exists at an intersection of identities: Black, Latina, lesbian, Millennial…Oregonian. She begins the story full of doubt and fear but under the influence and protection of her unlikely rescuers, she rediscovers her voice and power. Her heartbreaks and triumphs felt real and I couldn’t help rooting for her.

In addition to Las Vegas, Gorman makes good use of real-life settings in Ireland, Wales, Scotland, England, and France for scenes of narrow escapes and monster battles. Also like the real world, his monster population includes literal internet trolls, flinging flaming poo and thriving on chaos. Most real of all, it takes all the good guys working together to achieve their goal. Still, my favorite character and the true hero of the piece is Josef, a faceless clay golem who punches Nazis. Go, Josef!

Until April 19, 2019, you can pre-order your copy (and consider getting one for your local library) using the Kickstarter here! Or ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore, or order from Amazon here.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 23, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m on vacation!!! Next week I will be heading down to Portland for the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference. I have never been to this kind of event before; I expect it to be overwhelming but fun. In addition to hobnobbing with my fellow wizards at workshops and presentations, I get to sign books with (and attend a panel by) other Not A Pipe Publishing authors, at least one of whom I will be meeting in person for the first time. The only downside: I will be away from the blog next weekend. Fortunately, this week’s crop of band names is strong enough to carry us through till next time. Catch you in April!

Be Forest

A gentle command to be one with nature, this also sounds like a superlative preposition denoting a point earlier than which one cannot go.

Delicate Steve

Only a man secure in himself would call himself delicate.

Fell from the Ship

A most poetic euphemism, previously unknown to me. I chose it from the listings on Friday afternoon, intrigued by the implied action and drama. Friday night, we watched two short films that came with the Blu Ray of Orphée by Jean Cocteau (La villa Santo Sospir and a filmed interview with Cocteau). In one of them, he spoke of old friends who had passed on. Whatever he said in French was subtitled “fell from the ship.”

Fragile Weapons

The legendary sword that shatters when used with less than pure motives.

Hand Habits

Could be nervous tics, like nail biting, finger drumming, or hair twirling. Could as easily be practiced behaviors, like instrument fingering, ball handling, or drum rudiments.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues. Next one comes out in April. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 2, 2019

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

When I started this blog back in 2010, it had nothing whatever to do with my fiction writing beyond a personal bias toward sci-fi and fantasy themed band names. That changed when I happened to spy a sign on a local mini-storage with a burned out O. ST RAGE seemed like the name of either a superhero or a rock band, so I made it both. That turned into my first published novel, a garage-rock fairy tale titled The Gospel According to St Rage. The book is now in edits for an updated, enhanced second edition from Not A Pipe Publishing, due out later this year along with its sequel, Barbara and the Rage Brigade. I’m having so much fun working with these characters again! Read to the end to subscribe to my quarterly newsletter and keep up with news about these and other books. Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names, such as these fine examples:

Alfredo Ghosts

Who ya gonna call? Obviously, your favorite Italian restaurant.

Bodies on the Beach

What kind of movie is this, bikini dance party or disaster? OR BOTH!? Beach Blanket Tsunami.

Mansionair

Cash poor, house rich.

Prying Free

Oysters, mussels, hard hearts and closed minds about to open.

Spendtime Palace

Sounds like an oddly translated name for a vacation resort or kids’ TV show. (The listings lost a comma, so for a moment I thought there was a band called Ceramic Animal Spendtime Palace, which was like the too-long psychedelic band name of my dreams. Turns out I featured Ceramic Animal on September 1, 2018.)

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. It’s called The Storypunk Report and the first issue is out! Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 22, 2018

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Christmas week is sometimes slim pickings in terms of band names, but this time the listings were bulging like Santa’s pack. Here are a few of the gifts that spilled out:

Grain History

Fifth-grade social studies film strip, simultaneously important and boring. Bonus: this is a brand-new band playing their first show!

Half a Shadow

Is it less shadowy (diluted) than a full shadow, or more (concentrated)?

Love and Fury

AKA Righteous indignation. Not opposites, but twin motivations of many fictional characters, including my own St Rage.

PF Liars

I like that you have to say it aloud (and maybe be a certain age) to get the wordplay. Does this mean I won’t run faster, jump higher?

Runny Nose Bros.

Probably won’t be a hit video game, but any parent of two or more who has been through at least one winter will be nodding in recognition.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: Need a gift for a fantasy fan? My novel Daughter of Daughter+of+Magic+eBook+Cover+edit+1Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women. Don’t know your favorite reader’s favorite genre? The Year of Publishing Women also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) Strongly Worded Womenhave been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 16, 2018

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Christmas came early, in the shape of a new computer to replace my 7-year-old laptop. Hooray! But this meant I spent two afternoons getting the new one set up and am late to the blog. Without further ado, this week’s list (unusually, all from one night, already in the past):

Big Dirt

Out in farm country, the dirt’s as expansive as the sky.

Crashdown Butterfly

I’m guessing it doesn’t flit. Better reinforce those flowers, y’all.

Dust Moth

Completely unplanned, the lepidopterans ended up together in the list, and this is the second soil reference. Is it an insect blending in with dust, or particles organizing to mimic an insect?

Floored Faces

Openmouthed with amazement, or passed out on the rug? Either way, must have been a great night.

Good Bones

Well done, skeleton. What would I do without you?

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 8, 2018

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s that time of year when I just want to stay indoors and bake Christmas cookies! For the sake of these and other fine bands, some of us need to venture out to shows. Maybe now that it’s not quite so cold…

Lost in the Tracks

Subliminal messages, small items dropped in a subway tunnel, or the state of being totally into an album.

nothing, nowhere.

Reply to a text asking what are you doing and where are you going? Or: scene right before the Big Bang.

Saving Abel

Time-traveler wanting to solve the problem of violence goes back and stays Cain’s hand. Returns to the future and finds nothing has changed, except Genesis now says Abel killed Cain.

The Sometimes Island

At high tide, a shallows. At low tide, a peninsula. At just-right tide …

St. Panther

Feline saint seems like an oxymoron. (As the inventor of a fictional garage band (and superhero) called St. Rage, I like finding other saints in the listings.)

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 1, 2018

Posted on by kareneisenbreywriter

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I finished National Novel Writing Month with a 45,000 word draft of a fantasy novel that’s been waiting almost 3 years to be written. In celebration, we ventured out on a dark and rainy night to far-flung Maple Valley to hear Denise Glover and Friends play two engaging sets in a genre I call pretty-guitars-without-effects-pedals. Hope they come to Seattle soon! While we wait, here is this week’s batch of creative band names:

The Chocolate Watchband

A messy idea if taken literally but it sounds beautiful and sweet.

Fuzz Droner

I have to respect a name that describes the sound right up front. (See also: Low Hums.)

Great American Trainwreck

I can’t think of a better description of our current moment.

The Languid Current

Poetic and a touch melancholy. (Humorously, the listings ran them together with another band on the bill to create The Languid Current Heir Apparent, which sounds like a character in a 19th century comic novel.)

The Number Twelve Looks Like You

I always appreciate an extra-long name, especially when it’s a complete sentence, even more so when it is a touch surreal. To those of us with number-form synesthesia, this actually makes sense.

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!