Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 10, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

PSA: It’s TIME CHANGE NIGHT! If you’re still analog enough to rely on a clock you have to set, remember to “spring ahead” one hour so you won’t be late for church!!! We will be making an early night of it for this very reason. If you don’t have to get up in the morning, by all means go out and support your local bar band. If you’re still up at 2 am, you can watch DST begin. I’ve heard it’s an unforgettable experience.

The Lone Bellow

This can be a complete sentence about a solitary subject and their loud utterance; or a description of a loud utterance in isolation; or the title of a work about a decrepit organ in its last gasp.

Opposite Armor

After the battle, trade uniforms and go home friends.


When single-celled animals collide with a sense that everyone’s out to get you, you get NOISE. And of course, it’s a two-piece.

Trash Panda

The humor and aptness of the words make this a memorable insult for Starlord to throw at Rocket. Rhythm, repeated vowel sounds, and percussive consonants that crash and thump make it a perfect band name.

The What For

When you’re getting a stern lecture but don’t know why.

Shameless Self Promotion: In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult wizard fantasy novel Daughter of Magic releases May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing. As part of the Year of Publishing Women, in 2018 Not a Pipe is publishing nine books by seven women; I’m honored to be one of them.



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