Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 16, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Christmas came early, in the shape of a new computer to replace my 7-year-old laptop. Hooray! But this meant I spent two afternoons getting the new one set up and am late to the blog. Without further ado, this week’s list (unusually, all from one night, already in the past):

Big Dirt

Out in farm country, the dirt’s as expansive as the sky.

Crashdown Butterfly

I’m guessing it doesn’t flit. Better reinforce those flowers, y’all.

Dust Moth

Completely unplanned, the lepidopterans ended up together in the list, and this is the second soil reference. Is it an insect blending in with dust, or particles organizing to mimic an insect?

Floored Faces

Openmouthed with amazement, or passed out on the rug? Either way, must have been a great night.

Good Bones

Well done, skeleton. What would I do without you?

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 8, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s that time of year when I just want to stay indoors and bake Christmas cookies! For the sake of these and other fine bands, some of us need to venture out to shows. Maybe now that it’s not quite so cold…

Lost in the Tracks

Subliminal messages, small items dropped in a subway tunnel, or the state of being totally into an album.

nothing, nowhere.

Reply to a text asking what are you doing and where are you going? Or: scene right before the Big Bang.

Saving Abel

Time-traveler wanting to solve the problem of violence goes back and stays Cain’s hand. Returns to the future and finds nothing has changed, except Genesis now says Abel killed Cain.

The Sometimes Island

At high tide, a shallows. At low tide, a peninsula. At just-right tide …

St. Panther

Feline saint seems like an oxymoron. (As the inventor of a fictional garage band (and superhero) called St. Rage, I like finding other saints in the listings.)

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, available now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 18, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Heading into Thanksgiving week, I am thankful for the bounty of band names that appears to have no end. This week the cornucopia gifts us with these:

Diced Candy

Chopping sweets as if they were vegetables for soup. Does it make them good for you? (Personal note: when I was a child, my mother had a recipe for rhubarb marmalade that called for diced orange gumdrops. It was the most delicious spread ever invented.)

Die Nasty

When a ruling family goes down, they go down hard. (Confession: I’ve seen this one in the listing for years and only saw the pun this week.)

Look Vibrant

When looking alive is not lively enough.

Model Snake

Setting the example for all serpents. Or: freaking out the fashionable as it slithers down the runway.

Murphy’s Lawyers

Who you call when everything goes wrong, or the reason everything went wrong in the first place?

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, which will be released on November 20 and is available for pre-order now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 10, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My National Novel Writing Month project is going better than expected, so I’m releasing myself from the NaNoWriMo cave to geek out about some band names. And be sure to read to the end for an exciting announcement!

Aurora Motels

Replete with local flavor, this one evokes the Jet City’s grittier, lower-tech past.

Drippy Baby

Human infants happily dribble from almost every orifice. We’re all lucky that human parents find enough other things about them endearing. (This was the first listing this week to make me laugh out loud, perhaps because one of my children was such a reliable and prodigious spitter-upper.)

Mr. Twin Sister

On top of the gender ambiguity, I love how the rhyme is invisible. They’d fit well on a bill with last week’s pick Brother Wife. Or with:

The Mrs. Bill Larsens

The old-fashioned patriarchal formality seems at odds with the freedom and agency of women who rock. That it’s plural adds a disturbing yet humorous note.

SURETHING!

Overwhelming enthusiasm, up for whatever.

 

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: My novel Daughter of Magic was 1 of 8 books released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, which also included a weekly online series of short stories by women. The best of these (18 stories representing a wide range of genres) have been collected into a print anthology, STRONGLY WORDED WOMEN, which will be released on November 20 and is available for pre-order now. The collection includes my story “Crane’s Fire” from deep in the backstory of Daughter of Magic. Makes a great gift!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 29, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It looks like I’m heading into a very busy October, filled with book and music events (and a vacation, thank goodness). I’ll try not to let any of that stem the flow of band names. Let’s close out September with these fine examples:

Glass Souls

Strong yet fragile. Transparent yet hidden. Solid yet recyclable.

Moonlight Remedy

Moonlight as part of some mystical healing ritual. Or: the remedy for moonlight is curtains.

Mortemart

For all your discount funeral supply needs.

SeepeopleS

Other people are real! Maybe if they’re extra plural we’ll finally behold them as they are.

Strange Moon

Otherworldly by definition yet right there.

Shameless Self-Promotion: On Saturday, October 6 at 2:00 p.m., I will be reading and signing my new fantasy novel Daughter of Magic at The Neverending Bookshop. Joining me will be Mikko Azul, author of The Staff of Fire and Bone. Come say hi!

Facebook event

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 28, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

My birthday is next Monday, so yesterday I walked home from work (5 miles), a tradition now in its 6th year. Because nothing is  open on Mondays and we also have another commitment, we’re going out to celebrate tonight, voyaging by water taxi to Alki. The Torchlight Parade is tonight, so it’s anyone’s guess how or when we’ll get home. Maybe I’ll accidentally see the parade for the first time, which seems like a pretty good birthday party. As always, I’m celebrating band names, too.

awakebutstillinbed

This could be that delicious feeling on a Saturday morning when you don’t have anything you have to do and just lounge around until you’re hungry; or that horrible feeling when you have tons to do but you’re too depressed to move. Let’s hope for more of the former.

Bath Toys

So many rubber ducks and plastic boats that you don’t notice the toddler has escaped until they’re running naked and giggling through the house.

Big Pig Apocalypse

Uh oh, the pigs object to being launched. It’s all over now.

Cicada Rhythm

I love when a similar-sounding word is swapped in and the phrase still makes sense. Cicadas (AKA Screaming Land Shrimp) make music that can’t be ignored.

Kitty Kat Fan Club

Our feline friends couldn’t care less about our human musics but will still permit us to worship them, preferably with offerings of wet food.

Shameless Self-promotion:

Reading & Book Talk, TOMORROW Sunday, July 29 12:15 p.m. at Prospect UCC, 1919 E Prospect St, Seattle. I will read excerpts from my new fantasy novel Daughter of Magic and talk about how the book came to be, followed by Q&A and prize drawing. Books will be available for purchase at the event. Because the book features a teenage girl and is one of nine books by women authors to be released by Not A Pipe Publishing in 2018, The Year of Publishing Women, donations will be accepted for the Seattle chapter of Days for Girls. This non-profit organization provides durable, reusable feminine hygiene supplies to girls and women in developing countries, allowing them to attend school or work during their periods.

Facebook Event

Wizards Can’t Go Home

My novel Daughter of Magic released on May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing, which accepted Kamila Shamsie’s challenge to make 2018 The Year of Publishing Women and will publish nine books by seven women this year. They are also accepting submissions of short stories by women to be published weekly online.

“Wizards Can’t Go Home” comes from even deeper in the backstory of Daughter of Magic than “Crane’s Fire.”

fantasy-watermill“Wizards can’t go home.”

When Master Ordahn spoke those words, his apprentice thought he meant home would feel too tame, or the wizard would be too changed for home to seem like home anymore.

He didn’t know it meant home would cease to exist.

The young wizard glanced at the dripping sky, then pulled his hood forward and sank onto a fallen log with a dejected sigh. “Now what?”

He called himself The Crane, a name he’d given himself as a boy—the last of many. He didn’t remember what his mother called him. Both his parents had died when he was very small. They had died here. He wasn’t sure he could even find their graves.

(Read more here.)