Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 30, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #11

Even if every bar is still a dead bar and there’s still no live music, we can enjoy a morning thunderstorm. BOOM! (If you need a live music fix, KEXP is posting sessions daily. They recently premiered this session with Square Pig faves Dead Bars.) If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Power Skeleton

(October 19, 2013) I have it on good authority that October is Skeleton Awareness Month. I have a sore hip, so I’m quite aware of my own personal skeleton. When I eventually have my hips and/or knees replaced, I want them to put in a sound chip to make noise like a servo motor.

Shelter in Place

(November 9, 2019) This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse! [When I wrote this less than a year ago, I never dreamed it would become poignant.]

Sh*t Ghost

(July 17, 2016) Gross and funny and they have the most adorably disgusting logo.

Sidewalks and Skeletons

(June 22, 2019) More like trick-or-treat than end-of-school. Then again, no matter the time of year, everyone on the sidewalk has inside them a spooky, scary skeleton. (Happy coincidence: S and S is from Bradford, UK, the birthplace of my spouse’s grandfather.)

Skeletonwitch

(May 19, 2018) In case my new book [Daughter of Magic, released May 2018] does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band. [Book 2 Wizard Girl released in July, 2019. Book 3 Death’s Midwife was submitted to Not A Pipe Publishing this month and does, in fact, include an antagonist called Old Mother Bones.]

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 14, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

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Woodpecker in my yard

Is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas? It’s gray and raining and my back yard is full of birds, calling and feasting; I guess they think so. Also, my brother is performing a chapter of Finnegans Wake from memory tonight. This is the sixth year in a row, so something of a December tradition by now and the reason my weekend is booked up. But I always have time to celebrate band names, no matter the weather or the season. Here are this week’s picks:

The Amber Lanterns

Warm, old-timey light in the darkness.

Common Holly

Pretty, Christmas-y, invasive, functionally immortal. (Not a seasonal act, either, but well timed.)

The Feral Folk

What free-range kids grow up to be.

Mind of Joy

Intellect meets emotion on equal terms.

Yeehaw Junction

The world capital of whoopin’ and hollerin’. (Not only is this the name of a real place, more than one band is using it. This is not the bluegrass outfit from Charleston, but the punk outfit from Richmond that has been on a bill with Square Pig faves Dead Bars!)

One last thing before you go: Through December 31, I am participating in an authors’ “newsletter hop.” Subscribe to newsletters and answer trivia questions for a chance to win prize bundles of multiple books and stories, including my fantasy novels Daughter of Magic and Wizard Girl. If you want to play, go to my Facebook page for details.

I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 3, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

67340208_10215080709550518_3444971926429106176_nWhat a week it has been! I got my author face out in public for a reading to launch Wizard Girl; celebrated my 56th birthday by walking home from work on a beautiful day (about 5 miles); recorded a couple demos of new St. Rage songs; enjoyed a recital of modern vocal music; and now I’m on vacation! On top of all that, I get to lift up these five fine band names:

Bragrat

When a typo becomes a character. This rodent has no lack of confidence and will tell you all about it.

Clandestine Beam

Poetic oxymoron. No one lights a lamp, then hides it under a basket.

Jack and the Dull Boy

I like this one both for the classic X and the Y structure and for the creepy literary reference. (It appears to be an actual two-piece, too. Not sure which one is Jack, but their demo is not dull.)

Rather Ordinary Dudes

A humble, aw-shucks attitude to balance Bragrat, who are on the same bill.

Schmutzhund

Fierce guard dog has a dirty face. Granny licks her handkerchief.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first three issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 27, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Wizard Girl cover imageI will lead off with Shameless Self Promotion: My new fantasy novel, Wizard Girl (sequel to 2018’s Daughter of Magic) released this week! I’m tickled beyond belief to be reading and signing TONIGHT at 7 pm at Third Place Books–Ravenna. Details here. I hope to see both familiar and unfamiliar faces in the audience. Come ask me some wacky question I’ve never thought about before (as long as it’s appropriate for an all-ages crowd).

But we’re all really here for band names. Once again, the listings do not disappoint:

Bensbeendead.

Ben, to universe: Is that all you got?

(Also digging the period at the end of the sentence.)

Divorce Care

You could join a support group. Or you could go to a punk rock show and mosh to keep from crying. Careful, though; you might end up with a tear-shaped bruise.

Have Patience

If your online date doesn’t get your sense of humor, move on. Take your time. Your own personal weirdo is out there.

It Looks Sad.

Or forget online dating. Give in to those big puppy eyes and rescue a dog. (Also, another complete sentence with a period at the end! Is this a new trend in band names?)

Johnny and the Moles

The sound from the underground. You can’t go wrong with classic X and the Y structure.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first three issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 20, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I will show my age by saying I remember the first moon landing, 50 years ago today. I was almost 6 and completely captivated by the idea that people were walking on the moon I was looking at. We’re going out tonight for an early celebration of my next birthday (do the math). This break in the weather means we’ll probably see the moon on our way home. We plan to avoid Block Party, so probably won’t see any bands, but you never know. That won’t prevent me from celebrating these five:

Highest of Heels

Could be a pair of ridiculously uncomfortable shoes. I’m going with a superlatively hoity-toity villain.

Sparks+Front+Cover+eBook+finalHorse Jumper of Love

There really is someone for everyone. This also gives me a chance to plug Sparks, a delightful fantasy romance set on an Oregon horse farm, releasing in late July from Not A Pipe Publishing. Read my advance review here and pre-order now!

Long Shorts

I love a good oxymoron. On the one hand, which is it? On the other hand, sometimes you don’t want to show your knees, even in summer.

Rock Paper Sun

This contest seems rigged.

Stay Grounded

Solid advice in stressful times; a terse order that lets you know you’re still in trouble with Mom; or the reason we haven’t gotten back to the moon.

Wizard Girl cover imageShameless Self Promotion: My next fantasy novel, Wizard Girl (sequel to 2018’s Daughter of Magic) releases next Tuesday, July 23! I’m having an online launch party that day from 2-6 pm Pacific time. Join us here for any or all of the festivities. On Saturday, July 27, I’ll be reading and signing at 7 pm at Third Place Books–Ravenna. Details here.

And one last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first three issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 15, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Wizard Girl cover imageI’m in a bit of a tizzy because the cover of my next book was revealed this morning. Wizard Girl (Daughter of Magic Book 2) will release from Not A Pipe Publishing on July 23. E-book is on pre-order now with paperback and hardback to follow soon. Learn more here.

I hope these bands rock as much as this cover. As I went through the listings, nothing was speaking to me until the last page, where I encountered five great names on one bill. I think this is the first time that has happened.

Against the Raging Tide

Heroic brooding outsider drama.

Antlerbag

Murse for a moose (because he doesn’t have hands to hold a handbag).

Earth to Ashes

I’m reading this as a statement about climate change, like that Bill Nye video where he set a globe on fire.

Felony Flats

Old West town at the end of the line, entirely populated by criminals who have created a supportive community for themselves.

Stranded by Choice

In another break with tradition, I’m including a band I’ve featured before in order to cover the whole bill. On June 17, 2017, I wrote: “Love the double meaning. Are we stuck because of too many options, or intentionally moving to a deserted island?”

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, and other goodies. Click the link to check it out and subscribe here for future issues–the next one is out in July and will be full of exciting news.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)