Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

I can’t believe we’re already over halfway through December. If you will be celebrating a holiday in the next two weeks, I hope your preparations are mostly done and that you’ll have a serene, relaxing time. My Christmas prep is well in hand and I plan to observe the winter solstice with a dawn-to-dusk writing marathon with my pals on the Writing Against the Darkness team. We’re raising funds for Alzheimer’s research, care, and support. Donate here by 5 pm PST on December 21 and be entered in a drawing for a signed copy of Wizard Girl, which opens on main character Luskell’s winter solstice birthday. I will be writing a short story about how she spends her next birthday. Spoiler alert: the title is “Wizard Girl’s Wedding.”

Just here for the band names? No problem! If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we perhaps move into less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

Bullets or Balloons
You want only one of these at your holiday party.

Lazer Susan and The Not Haunted
I included The Not Haunted earlier this year (here) but without this frontperson, who I imagine uses death-beam eyes if you’re slow to spin the turntable with her favorite dish on it.

Sharks of the Salish Sea
Been awhile since I saw a field-guide title as a band name. Not only does it highlight charismatic creatures in a specific place, it is a sibilant treat to speak aloud.

Stargazy Pie
This gives me a dreamy, cozy, Christmassy vibe, almost entirely because of an animated Christmas program my kids’ grandma taped for them decades ago that featured images of this fish pie with their little heads emerging from the crust.

Worldwide Levitation
Either we’ve all achieved enlightenment or someone forgot to pay the gravity bill.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. Next one comes out in January! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)