Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

While I find most of the bands I blog about on EverOut, one this week came to me via Freakly Digest, Dead Bars‘ weekly punk newsletter. It’s got fun stories, interviews, music reviews, and more. If you aren’t a subscriber, you’re missing out! Check out the archive and subscribe here. Meanwhile, Authors for Ukraine online charity auction continues through April 12. (Current bid on my Daughter of Magic fantasy trilogy is $70, not much more than it would cost retail.) You can learn more about the auction here, or go straight to the auction site at https://www.32auctions.com/AuthorsforUkraine.

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask awhile longer even if you don’t have to, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we look forward to less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

12 Pack of Doom
What the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse bring to your barbecue.

GuhRoovy
The spelling tells you how to say it like you mean it.

Sacrificial Lamp
Thanks to Freakly Digest for bringing this one to our attention! Perfect for Passover/Holy Week, hinting at the Light of the World.

Shoopolish
Buff those doo-wop syllables till they shine.

Teenage Toad
Before the Wild Ride, there was … the Driving Test. Did the examiner survive?

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)