Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

Last week, I got to put on my do-gooder hat (it has sequins) as one of over 175 Authors for Ukraine who have donated signed books for an online charity auction that goes through April 12. (Current bid on my Daughter of Magic fantasy trilogy is $70, not much more than it would cost retail.) You can learn more about the auction here, or go straight to the auction site at https://www.32auctions.com/AuthorsforUkraine. If you’re just here for the band names, read on!

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask awhile longer even if you don’t have to, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we look forward to less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

Bread Pilot
One of those phrases that makes sense until you wake up from the dream. Which part of the loaf is the cockpit?

Charming Disaster
Everything is falling apart, but it is doing it with panache.

The Foilies
The overwhelming urge to wrap everything in aluminum.

Noisepoetnobody
Admirable loser pride, and nice rhythm and alliteration–fitting for an artist who identifies as a poet of some kind.

Smoke It and See
Go ahead, but don’t come crying to me when it gives you the foilies.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. The next issue comes out in about a week! Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)