Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 14, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Pi Day in interesting times–a good excuse for comfort food. There were lots of shows in the coming week’s nightlife listings, but I would advise calling ahead to make sure your event is still on. If it isn’t, please consider buying the bands’ music and merch if available online. They will appreciate your support. Even if they don’t get to play, these bands have fabulous names:

Bad Honey

Must be a pet name for a misbehaving significant other, because actual honey rarely goes bad.

Boy Named Banjo

Anyone who played Oregon Trail knows how important the banjo was for morale. Totally deserving of its own name.

Everything Sux

You think so, and then you look up and everything is in bloom. We’ll get through this.

Uncanny Dandelion

The internal rhyme is an unexpected delight, as is the idea that something so common could also be weird.

Zorched Realm

Gives off a cracked Sci Fi/Fantasy vibe, like something from Spaceman Spiff.

Shameless self-promotion: With heavy hearts and abundance of caution, my fellow authors and I announce that the March 21 event at The Neverending Bookshop for  SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction is being rescheduled for summer. Please support independent bookstores by ordering a copy of this exciting collection. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 8, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This post is a day late due to family responsibilities, which has given me more time to consider the twice-yearly time-travel game we play. If we’re going to continue switching the clocks, we ought to come up with rituals for the observance of Time Change Eve and Time Change Day, even if only to raise a toast at sunset, spring ahead, and go to bed. And the first Monday of Daylight Saving Time should be a federal holiday. If the time change doesn’t bother you, though, there are lots of shows scheduled (but in this time of virus outbreaks, best to check that anything is still on before you head out). These band names stood out:

Boogie Boulevard

The party’s happening at the intersection with Electric Avenue, in Funkytown.

The Moonmen

Gidney and Cloyd?! Watch out for the scrootch gun.

Projections on a Wall

High-tech Plato’s cave: is that a real band up there, or is it a music video?

Worse in Person

A fine example of northwest loser pride, perfected with a rhyme that isn’t obvious until spoken aloud.

Year of the Fist

This is the year to kick the resistance into high gear, defiant fists raised high.

Shameless self-promotion: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction, the latest release from Not A Pipe Publishing. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 29, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

A first! To date, this is the only Leap Day edition of Square Pig in a Round Hole. Several newspaper comics implied that February 29 is not a real day, which makes it the perfect day to either do nothin’ or else try something new. Whichever you choose, these band names are 100% real and all winners:

FRED

When I was a teenager (a startlingly large number of years ago), there was a Seattle punk band called Fred. I missed out on hearing them live but heard thrilling tales. This is not their triumphant return, but I’m pleased someone else thought Mr. Rogers’ first name was fitting for a music project.

Half Rushmore

Nothing but presidential chins.

New World Aviation Committee

I have a soft spot for names that are too long, especially when they sound official but don’t quite make literal sense.

Outhouse Confessional

A one-holer and a confessional booth are of similar size. Go in, shut the door, consider your human-animal nature.

Trebled Assets

When you check your collection of soprano instruments and there are three times more than you remembered.

 

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction, the latest release from Not A Pipe Publishing. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 22, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I Go PogoIf election years make you anxious, I’m right there with you. Turn up the music and yell if it helps, and remember to vote. Personally, I Go Pogo, but since he’s not running this year, I’ll have to choose the next best candidate. Lots easier to choose these great band names:

Absynthe of Faith

Anyone who can nest puns within puns gets my vote. Worship the green fairy of electronica.

Batbox

Echolocation by means of high-pitched rhythmic mouthsounds.

Hippie Fight

It’s all groovy peace & love till they start a mosh pit.

Old Lady Litterbug

Besides how it describes an eccentric character, what I like about this one is the a-litter-ation. Sorry, I’ll see myself out.

Prodigal Sunburn

Returning home because he ran out of SPF 50 and no one would share.

 

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 8, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20200208_135658Regular readers know that St. Rage is one of my favorite bands (and band names). Perhaps because I invented them and wrote and performed their songs. Well, today has been a very St. Rage kind of day: hat shopping in the morning, blood donation this afternoon. Before we move on to the real-life bands, here’s a little song about donating blood:

Thanks for your patience! On to this week’s honored five:

American Authors

I love it when music and literature collide! This is what I aspired to be from an early age. We’re mostly not rich and famous.

Franks and Deans

Wordplay + nostalgia = the Rat Pack’s favorite lunch.

Happy People Team

After this last week (or last 3 years), I know I need some positivity. And a reminder that we’re stronger–and happier–together.

Take It to Space

Way past over the top!

Tang

And what do we take to space, but what the astronauts drank!

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 23, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Barbara+and+the+Rage+Brigade+Front+Cover

Cover art by Maggie Gauntt

I’ll start with the shameless self-promotion right out of the gate. Tonight beginning at 5 pm, I’m celebrating my newest novel, Barbara and the Rage Brigade (sequel to garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage) with a launch party at The Neverending Bookshop. I’ll read some excerpts, take questions, give away a book or two, sign books, hand out download codes for the associated 4-song EP, and perform acoustic versions of the entire St. Rage catalog of eleven songs, because what’s a party without music?

We’ll be all done no later than 7 pm, so you can easily get out to a dive bar and hear a well-named non-fictional band on the same night. The pickings were somewhat reduced by the holiday next week, but I managed a pretty good harvest even so:

Bone Spurs

I’m partial to band names involving body parts or medical conditions. When that medical condition is also part of the national joke, you know you’ve got a winner.

Family Worship Center

As it happens, my book features a creepy cult disguised as a wholesome mega-church. My church-girl protagonist is not fooled.

Moon Duo

Moon Heist

I am fond of the moon and have written about at least 24 moon-themed band names in the past nine years. Now it’s at least 26, because I hadn’t done either of these before. They go together: one’s about an extra moon, the other about a moon that’s missing. In either case, the world would be a very different place. Maybe we have only one because another planet heisted the extra. Lookin’ at you, Mars.

Rabble House

Change one letter and the act of agitating common folk becomes a church I’d much rather attend than the Family Worship Center (happens they’re on the same bill).

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 26, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

67403159_894296947584882_2767030137827360768_o.jpg

I’m excited to get my author face out in public tonight for a Halloween event that’s been in the works since last spring! Join me and other Washington and Oregon authors at The Neverending Bookshop as we share spooky, magical, or otherwise supernatural excerpts from our work. There will be snacks and music, too. Costumes encouraged! Details here.

But before that, here’s a treat sack of band names:

Grim Statistic

Like when the Mariners clinched not losing 100 games this season. It’s gonna take a lot of Cracker Jack to get over that one.

The Jephries

I was hoping for a group of guys all named Jeffrey or Geoffrey, but it’s actually being used as a last name a la The Ramones. The tongue in cheek nature of their Facebook page makes me suspect a fiction.

Penelope Isles

Nice mythic vibe going on. This could be a single mysterious character or a whole mist-shrouded archipelago.

Some Rules

There might be 10 but we haven’t counted them. They’re more like guidelines, anyway. Remember to use things and love people, and you’ll probably be all right.

Subatomic Sound System

These speakers may be tiny but they are powerful.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)