Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

One of the purposes of this blog (besides my own amusement) is support for local music, especially down at the DIY bar-band level. This intersects in my fiction-author life with another major interest, indie authors and bookstores. As it happens, today is Independent Bookstore Day! I hope you have the chance to visit at least one indie bookshop. In the Seattle area, we have plenty to choose from, so if you don’t have one of your own, I will lend you one of mine: The Neverending Bookshop, Third Place Books, Elliott Bay Book Company, or University Bookstore. Any of them would be happy to order my books for you if they aren’t on the shelves.

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your mask awhile longer even if you don’t have to, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we look forward to less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

California Cousins
When I was a kid, the annual summer visit from our California cousins was a major event, somehow cooler than a visit from or to Montana or Minnesota cousins. This band name reassures me that my attitude wasn’t unusual.

Free Tampons
A surefire way to get women to come to your show, especially if it makes douchey bros too uncomfortable to show up.

Insignificant Other
You know your relationship is out of balance when they introduce you this way. Unless you’re both this. Then it’s just for fun, not serious, no pressure.

Puppy Feet
Oh, the toe beans and floof! Everything about your dog is there to lift your spirits.

Stellar Jays
The finest scolding you will ever receive.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)