Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 1, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #20

It has been warm enough this past week to turn on the AC more than once, and I had a birthday–both to be expected in any year. We take our normality where we can find it. I have mixed feelings about the sort-of baseball season: a swing at normality that could either be lots of fun or go all kinds of wrong. Anyway, this week’s retrospective has a baseball theme, paired with a loving glance at Seafair. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

The Aquabats!

(July 12, 2014) This made-up word is taking me in so many directions, which I love. Synchronised swimmers doing gymnastic tricks? Marine mammals using sonar to hunt their prey? (Wait, that’s dolphins.) But I can’t help thinking this is somehow baseball related. [Happy accident of timing: they have a new album releasing on August 21, 2020!]

The Aquadolls

(December 7, 2019) Great retro vibe conjures up Seafairs of yesteryear and Esther Williams movies. I’m so pleased to learn this is, in fact, an all-female surf-punk band.

Chance to Steal

(February 17, 2017) Another sign of hope: spring training has begun. [Hey, they also have a new record out!]

Double Play

The Home Team

(July 13, 2019) Root, root, root! I’m always happy to find multiple bands in the same week  whose names have a common theme. This time I noted three with a baseball theme, and I had only picked one of them previously (Chance to Steal). Also happy to learn Double Play is a two-piece because that’s as perfect as a well-turned double play.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 25, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #19

Good news in the midst of this live-music drought: Square Pig fave Dead Bars is releasing a live album, Live at White Eagle Hall! Pre-order and give a listen here. Since there will be no new live music for the foreseeable future (boo!), I went back to the vault and hauled up an abundant catch of summer-themed band names. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Astro Tan

(October 12, 2014) I’m always taken with how much can be done with the change of one letter — from multi-passenger conveyance to the ultimate in safe tanning. I suspect you can get away with a low protection factor while working on your star tan.

Barefoot Barnacle

(January 11, 2014) These words in proximity provoke a wince from anyone who’s spent time on Northwest beaches. But in this case, it’s the barnacle that’s barefoot. (My resident science adviser points out that all barnacles are barefoot: they plant their heads and wave their feet around to collect food. And anyway, how would you get the little shoes on?)

Big Splash Champion

(August 8, 2015) One of my most enduring memories from summer camp: a girl in my cabin, determined to win the big splash contest, performed an epic intentional belly flop that bruised several ribs but won the prize. Bragging rights have their price.

Circles Around the Sun

(October 12, 2019) The orbital dance, counterclockwise and (not) in heels. Also, technically elliptical. The spouse and I have completed 33 of these since our wedding day. [Update: My birthday is next week, at which point I will have completed 57 circles of my own.]

Dismal Tide

(July 5, 2014) Now that for-real summer is here, we might be inclined to put away one of the Northwest’s most evocative adjectives, but don’t fool yourself. Winter will be back in all its gray and rainy splendor. As for “tide,” this could be a marine usage, but maybe not. In the Church, we have Christmastide and Eastertide; I’m going to say Dismaltide is January 2 – the end of Lent.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 18, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #18

As promised on July 4, I continue with the third in a series of (queasy) Americana-themed retrospectives. Next week, I’ll have to return to the vault. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

American Island

(November 12, 2016) AKA the West Coast.

American Roulette

(September 6, 2014) Just like Russian Roulette, but with a high-capacity magazine to — um — improve your chances.

Animals as Leaders

(November 12, 2016) At least the internet will still be full of cute critters. Vote Kittens & Puppies 2020!

Ted Cruz and the Trumps

(March 5, 2016) Points for topicality joined to classic X and the Y structure. I would love to wake up and have this be the only reason we know these names; the rest was only a dream. [This appears to have been a one-off or short-lived project from 2016. –ed.]

U. S. Bastards 

(April 23, 2016) It’s like a theme or something. I like how you can pronounce the initials as “us” or “U. S.” and it makes sense either way.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 11, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #17

facemask with message truth. justice. rock & roll.My love of clever band names gave rise to the fictional almost-all-girl garage band St. Rage, as featured in two of my novels (The Gospel According to St. Rage and Barbara and the Rage Brigade). What’s a band without merch? So I spent last weekend setting up an online shop to offer T-shirts, facemasks, etc. for St. Rage, as T-shirt with message: St. Rage Truth. Justice. Rock & Roll.well as my real band, T-shirt with image of pop-punk duo Your Mother Should Know as gross but lovable monstersYour Mother Should Know (provider of sounds for the St. Rage EPs). But I’m not about to stop celebrating band names. As promised on July 4, I continue with the second in a series of Americana-themed retrospectives. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

American Authors

(February 8, 2020) I love it when music and literature collide! This is what I aspired to be from an early age. We’re mostly not rich and famous.

American Wrecking Company

(March 5, 2016) AKA party politics as usual. When the revolution comes, they will have brought it on themselves.

Lightning Kills Eagle

(March 14, 2015) This could be a Native American myth or a headline on a slow news day.

Mice Parade

(June 1, 2013) Cute as anything until they march into your pantry.

This American Knife

(April 14, 2019) Public radio, weaponized. Need to be on a bill with past honorees Ira’s Glasses.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 4, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #16

In honor of Independence Day, I present an Americana-themed retrospective. I found enough suitable candidates in the vault for several posts, so the theme will continue for most of the month. It’s not fireworks but I hope it will do. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

American Nudism

(July 25, 2015) The qualifier “American” suggests something about the nudism — it’s either exceptional or puritanical, I just can’t decide which.

Boom City

(January 31, 2015) So many reasons to love this as a specifically Seattle band name: our history with supersonic jets; that long-lived fireworks stand; our growing reputation as the capital of LOUD.

Great American Trainwreck

(December 1, 2018) I can’t think of a better description of our current moment. [Gosh, that aged well. –ed.]

The Parade Schedule

(May 23, 2015) Festivity requires organization. All the clowns and marching bands have to respect the person with the clipboard.

Ragged Union

(December 10, 2016) I can’t seem to escape post-electoral blues. This one speaks to our Divided States of America, tattered but not yet sundered. [Wow, another one. –ed.]

Fireworks at the End coverOh, all right. Have some Fireworks at the End.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2020 issue comes out next week! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 27, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #15

Back in March, I naively thought I would only have to do a few of these retrospective posts before nightlife resumed. I went to the vault and hauled up what I was sure would be more than enough appropriate band names to tide me over. Today I reach the end of that trove with the last of the pet-themed band names, but never fear! I will head back to the cellar next week for more vintage delights. Please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Dog Fashion Disco

(May 9, 2015) Imagine the dog party at the end of Go Dog Go, but with more glitz and a mirror ball. I like that party hat!

Dog Party

(March 21, 2015) Around this house, we love and revere P. D. Eastman’s Go Dog Go, a limited-vocabulary guide to how to pick up girls. It concludes in an epic dog party in a tree. I like that party hat! I like that band name!

Dog Shredder

(March 19, 2011) One of the resident cats thinks this applies to her. I imagine it’s brutal and raucous.

Strawberry Love Cat

(February 21, 2015) Cheery and goofy, in that psychedelic way. I’m partial to cat names, too. [Sadly, they seem to have disappeared from the internet. –ed.]

Teen Cat  

(March 14, 2015) Teens are hip to pop culture and cats are cool, so there are lots of good rock & roll associations. On the other hand, felines mature so quickly that they barely have an adolescence. An actual cat in its teens is mature to elderly. (I was pleased to see that Teen Cat is a guitar-and-drum duo with a woman drummer, just like Your Mother Should Know!)

Fundraising report: I spent literally all day last Saturday taking part in The Longest Day, a fundraiser for the Alzheimer’s Association for which participants choose an activity and do it from dawn to dusk to raise funds for research, care, and support. I was part of the Writing Against the Darkness team, fifteen writers bashing out words and checking in with each other regularly via Zoom. We generated a novel’s worth of words–about 82,000 (9K mine)–and almost $5000 in donations ($1450 mine) by the end of the day. The fundraiser continues, so if you are able, please donate here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2020 issue is coming soon! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 19, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #14

This post is happening a whole day early, and not only because one day is pretty like another right now. No, it is because tomorrow, the Summer Solstice, I will be writing other things ALL DAY. I’m taking part in The Longest Day, a fundraiser for the Alzheimer’s Association. Participants choose an activity and do it from dawn to dusk to raise funds for Alzheimer’s research and support for families living with the disease. I’m part of the Writing Against the Darkness team. Last year we generated 50,000 words and over $5000 in donations, and hope to meet or exceed those totals during this year’s event. If you are able, please donate here, and since I also still care about bands and band names, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Le Shat Noir

(December 31, 2011) A cat is implied, and the French lends elegance, but it’s still gross. Somebody clean that litter box!

Sneaky Bones

(May 20, 2017) When you’re not looking, skeletons creep up. Before you know it, you’ve got one under your skin. Spooky.

Spaceman Flu

(July 28, 2012) I researched spacesickness for a science fiction novel. Early in the US space program, they didn’t realize it existed and were very concerned when some of the astronauts would suddenly barf in the cockpit. I suppose they wondered if it was some weird spaceman flu.

Tiny Bones

(March 18, 2017) In high school, my sister reassembled a frog’s skeleton and encased it in Lucite. Ever since, I have been fascinated by how small bones can be, whether in wee animals or our own ears.

Where My Bones Rest Easy

(October 19, 2013) More Skeleton Awareness! Let them rest when their work is through.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2020 issue is coming soon! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 13, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #13

I miss live music.

I rarely got out to a show, but I liked knowing it was possible any night of the week. I especially liked playing shows, partly because the best way to discover new bands is to be on a bill with them. So today, I honor a longer list than usual: a selection of bands who have been on a bill with Your Mother Should Know. Although we never played frequently even when we were actively getting out, this is not all of them. If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

The Ancients

(August 11, 2012) I probably wouldn’t pick this name out of the listings, but it fits perfectly the band’s wildly theatrical Adventure Metal genre. These guys would be right at home with a tiny Stonehenge on stage.

Ancient Warlocks

(February 5, 2011) This appeals to my fantasy-novel side. Music and fiction are the closest to magic we can get: something out of nothing. It also evokes Spinal Tap and their tiny Stonehenge, and that makes me smile.

Black Plastic Clouds

(November 5, 2011) As if black clouds weren’t threatening enough! Any mention of black plastic reminds me of the ultimately ineffective weed barrier the previous owner of our house used in the front yard. We were digging pieces of black plastic out of the ground for years.

Curtains for You

(December 4, 2010) Full disclosure: I’d heard of this band years before I saw them at the Columbia City Theatre (which has a stage with actual curtains), and the keyboard player has visited my house. But I think I would list them even if that weren’t so. I like how the name references another era and aspect of American pop culture. (I tend to pronounce it “coitains” like the gangsters in old Bugs Bunny cartoons.) 

Dead Bars

(October 12, 2013) I’m surprised I haven’t included this one already, though I have referenced them a couple times. I actually know the story behind the name, which grew out of drinking in bars where there was no energy or excitement, nothing going on but drinking and thinking. If these guys are playing, the venue is automatically not a dead bar anymore.

Pouch

(July 2, 2011) I’ve been hearing about these guys and liked the name from the start. Pouch is one of those words that’s fun and funny to say. I hope to see more bands named for hand luggage.

The Tailenders

(February 25, 2012) This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings — and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Tyrannosaurus Grace

(August 11, 2012) This is one of those names that just sounds right. I don’t know what it is — some kind of Wesleyan dinosaur, I guess — but I like it.

Youth Rescue Mission

(February 25, 2012) Sing it with me: “My life was saved by rock and roll.”

Your Mother Should Know was already on indefinite hiatus before the lockdown but I hope we will be able to do some kind of livestream later in the summer. The next best thing is a solo outing (inning?) by my brother and bandmate Neal Kosaly-Meyer at 8 pm tonight on Facebook Live. He will play a short set of Your Mother Should Know originals and a few covers. I’ll be watching and probably singing along. Please join me!

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 6, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #12

Special protest-themed post! We were expecting civil unrest to kick off around August, but apparently Junuary is here and the time is right for marching in the streets. This pandemic has made plain even to the privileged (like me) some deep-rooted inequities, biased and brutal policing being one of many legitimate grievances in communities of color. If you are able, please carry a sign, donate to justice organizations (see below for a humble suggestion), amplify unheard voices, and since there won’t be live music for a while yet, perhaps buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

And I Am the Riot

(July 28, 2012) I wonder what came before the conjunction — “You are the . . .” I like that it’s not a riot, but the riot.

Down with People

(December 31, 2011) This could be an anti-people protest slogan or a statement of support: “I’m totally down with them.” I like the ambiguity.

Molotov Colostomy

(June 22, 2013) Well, that took a surprising turn! Grossest protest ever.

Not a Part of It

(August 29, 2015) This could be an alibi: “It wasn’t me. I don’t even wear makeup.” But I like it better as an expression of wholehearted, all-or-nothing-at-all engagement.

Riot at the Dojo

(March 3, 2018) Over-the-top fight scene. Everyone bows at the end. (The resident young person was hoping for an exclamation point after “Riot.” You can’t always get what you want.)

Shout+eBook+Cover+12_15_19.jpg?format=750wA small way to help and get something good to read at the same time: for every copy of Shout: an Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction purchased, Not A Pipe Publishing makes a donation to Black Lives Matter and 3 other worthy justice organizations. (I recommend doing even more good by ordering from your favorite independent bookshop.) Full disclosure: I have a story in this book but I would make this recommendation even if I didn’t because the other stories are that good!

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 30, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #11

Even if every bar is still a dead bar and there’s still no live music, we can enjoy a morning thunderstorm. BOOM! (If you need a live music fix, KEXP is posting sessions daily. They recently premiered this session with Square Pig faves Dead Bars.) If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Power Skeleton

(October 19, 2013) I have it on good authority that October is Skeleton Awareness Month. I have a sore hip, so I’m quite aware of my own personal skeleton. When I eventually have my hips and/or knees replaced, I want them to put in a sound chip to make noise like a servo motor.

Shelter in Place

(November 9, 2019) This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse! [When I wrote this less than a year ago, I never dreamed it would become poignant.]

Sh*t Ghost

(July 17, 2016) Gross and funny and they have the most adorably disgusting logo.

Sidewalks and Skeletons

(June 22, 2019) More like trick-or-treat than end-of-school. Then again, no matter the time of year, everyone on the sidewalk has inside them a spooky, scary skeleton. (Happy coincidence: S and S is from Bradford, UK, the birthplace of my spouse’s grandfather.)

Skeletonwitch

(May 19, 2018) In case my new book [Daughter of Magic, released May 2018] does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band. [Book 2 Wizard Girl released in July, 2019. Book 3 Death’s Midwife was submitted to Not A Pipe Publishing this month and does, in fact, include an antagonist called Old Mother Bones.]

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)