Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 25, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!


Good news in the midst of this live-music drought: Square Pig fave Dead Bars is releasing a live album, Live at White Eagle Hall! Pre-order and give a listen here. Since there will be no new live music for the foreseeable future (boo!), I went back to the vault and hauled up an abundant catch of summer-themed band names. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Astro Tan

(October 12, 2014) I’m always taken with how much can be done with the change of one letter — from multi-passenger conveyance to the ultimate in safe tanning. I suspect you can get away with a low protection factor while working on your star tan.

Barefoot Barnacle

(January 11, 2014) These words in proximity provoke a wince from anyone who’s spent time on Northwest beaches. But in this case, it’s the barnacle that’s barefoot. (My resident science adviser points out that all barnacles are barefoot: they plant their heads and wave their feet around to collect food. And anyway, how would you get the little shoes on?)

Big Splash Champion

(August 8, 2015) One of my most enduring memories from summer camp: a girl in my cabin, determined to win the big splash contest, performed an epic intentional belly flop that bruised several ribs but won the prize. Bragging rights have their price.

Circles Around the Sun

(October 12, 2019) The orbital dance, counterclockwise and (not) in heels. Also, technically elliptical. The spouse and I have completed 33 of these since our wedding day. [Update: My birthday is next week, at which point I will have completed 57 circles of my own.]

Dismal Tide

(July 5, 2014) Now that for-real summer is here, we might be inclined to put away one of the Northwest’s most evocative adjectives, but don’t fool yourself. Winter will be back in all its gray and rainy splendor. As for “tide,” this could be a marine usage, but maybe not. In the Church, we have Christmastide and Eastertide; I’m going to say Dismaltide is January 2 – the end of Lent.


One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first seven issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

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