Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 4, 2021

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Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #76

My emotional support human suggested I do a post of game-themed band names. I was surprised I hadn’t done that yet, but suspected it would be a rich seam to mine. That turned out to be true, so I will be sharing the riches for a couple of weeks.

As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

6 Demon Bag
(October 18, 2014) This sounds like something from a role-playing game, an item that allows you to collect the demons you defeat and use their powers. (Which shows that I live with huge nerds — I guessed that without knowing it was an actual thing in World of Warcraft). Upgrade to the 12 Demon Bag for just one gold piece more!

Ca$h Bandicoot
(August 30, 2014) A long time ago, a certain young relative was constantly — and vocally — excited about a certain video game. This sly reference reminds us what it was really all about.

Dry T-Shirt Contest
(October 29, 2016) A non-gendered, non-salacious bar game: don’t spill your drink on your shirt!

Grand Theft Zombie
(June 14, 2014) Great pop-culture mashup. The video game reference also perfectly suits the style of music.

How to Win at Battleship
(July 21, 2014) I like band names that sound like self-help titles, especially for things that can’t be guaranteed. I’ve played enough Battleship to know that the surest way to win is to play someone who is worse at the game, but then that feels kind of mean. Oh, wait! It’s war! So the only way to win is not to play.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 28, 2021

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Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #75

This is the second week with a theme of gardens, farms, and soil. Once again, I feature six bands instead of the usual five. Our backyard landscaping project is developing nicely but like any work in progress, will need a lot of work before it is a finished thing of beauty. Fortunately, people who know what they are doing are in charge of the work.

As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Lilac
(September 23, 2016) So, you know how most people who say they want to write actually mean they want to have written? I want to have gardened. I love having beautiful or edible plants on my property, but I’m terrible at getting things established. My biggest successes have been a couple of lilac bushes. One established with almost no effort on my part, while the other took ten years to start blooming. But now I’m rewarded every spring with my favorite fragrant flowers for no work. So.

Slugs
(February 2, 2019) Local flavor at its localest (but don’t taste them), humble denizens of every Northwest garden and forest, rasping away at the greenery. Listen closely.

Soundgarden
(May 20, 2017) The intensely local nature of the name is hidden from the rest of the world while it perfectly describes the scene here: fertile ground for weird new music of all genres.

This Soil is Diseased
(January 26, 2013) Yow! I suspect this comes directly off a sign somewhere, a perfect metal name: complete sentence with notes of death and corruption.

Trebled Morels
(June 29, 2019) Even one morel is a miracle, but three? Heaven. (These came from our yard [in 2014]: doubly trebled!)

Woodshed
(May 21, 2016) I grew up in a house with an actual woodshed: we stored stovewood and garden tools out there, and it also had a workbench for fixing things. Although we were a musical family, I don’t think anyone ever went out there to practice an instrument, but my older brother (age 5 when we moved into that house) had heard enough about woodsheds to worry that he’d get more spankings. Fortunately, it wasn’t that sort of woodshed, either.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 21, 2021

· Leave a comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #74

I’ve chosen a new theme of gardens, farms, and soil for the next couple of weeks. I found twelve candidates, so I will feature six bands each week instead of the usual five. Here’s the story: the backyard at Square Pig HQ has been many things over the years: children’s play area, urban farm (for two different collectives), neighborhood garden share, and weedy, uncultivated meadow. It is now in the process of being civilized! Neighbors will continue to garden in the sunniest portion, while the part nearest the house will get a nice stone patio and lots of native plantings for the birds and butterflies. Thanks to Trilobyte Gardens for taking on this project! As it happens, I first met the Trilobyte crew through their band Power Skeleton, an early Square Pig fave.

As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Big Dirt
(December 16, 2018) Out in farm country, the dirt’s as expansive as the sky.

Crashdown Butterfly
(December 16, 2018) I’m guessing it doesn’t flit. Better reinforce those flowers, y’all.

Dirtnap
(June 29, 2019) It’s death, isn’t it? A cozy, comfortable end.

Dirt Worshipper
(December 18, 2010) The name is funny, and the band was apparently playing two gigs in the same night, which wins my attention and respect.

Earthworm
(June 22, 2013) Hail the lowly earthworm, which makes organic matter into soil. When our elder son was in first grade, he did a report on worms, recorded on tape and punctuated with various noisemakers from our vast collection. I appreciated worms before that, but after, I was a real fan.

Farm Hand Girls
(November 28, 2015) This one leaped out at me because my first paying job, other than babysitting and mowing the church lawn, was a type of tedious, grueling farm work that in that time and place was only performed by girls. Four summers in a row, decades ago now, never to be forgotten.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 14, 2021

· Leave a comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #73

Another heat wave, smoky air, and Friday the 13th fell on a Friday this month. On the good side, live music is creeping back and my baby is 25 years old today. I had hoped to be finished with these retrospective posts by now, but they may have to continue a bit longer. Today, I finish my food and beverage theme with a bonus sixth band name. Come back next week for something new, and as ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Fruit and Vegetable
Sour Scream and Salsa
(February 9, 2013) These two really should have been on the same bill. Not just food and allusions to food, but the classic Noun and Noun band name structure. Yet they are also opposites: while both chose foods that are commonly spoken of together, one pairs staples of a balanced diet; the other, yelling condiments . . . into which the healthful foods could be dipped! I also like that Fruit and Vegetable are singular, as if this is a duo of (interchangeable) Veggie Tales characters. Sour Scream and Salsa provides abundant sibilance, and I gotta say, mariachi metal is an intriguing new genre.

Stiff Spirit
(October 10, 2015) A strong drink . . . or what happens when the ghost suffers rigor mortis, too.

Whiskey Syndicate
(December 15, 2012) I literally met these guys on the street as they were packing their gear for a show in Winthrop. They are celebrating their first anniversary as a band, so congratulations! I’ve noticed there are a lot of bands in town with whiskey in their name. I like this one because it sounds like a formal organization (though the band seems really laid back).

Yogurt Brain
(November 11, 2017) Insult, or enhanced intelligence from eating the latest superfood?

The Yolks
(August 5, 2012) I’ve always liked the word yolk. It looks kind of funny, and it sounds almost like joke, but also kind of thick, like what it is.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 7, 2021

· Leave a comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #72

Just a few weeks ago, I was excited for the imminent return of live music. Now I foresee a new season of events being scheduled, then postponed or cancelled; of venues reopening and almost immediately closing down again. I really hope I’m wrong! Meanwhile, the food-and-beverage theme continues with a mostly-summery collection. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Plastic Picnic
(March 18, 2017) Toy food in a playhouse satisfies until it doesn’t. Is this where chefs come from?

Pop Sickle
(January 11, 2014) The quiescently frozen confection that kills it every time.

Puff Puff Beer
(February 25, 2017) How to bro in three easy steps.

Shaggy Sweet
(July 20, 2015) The five-second rule is voided if the dropped candy collects fuzz.

The Shaken Growlers
(March 7, 2015) I can easily believe this name grew out of an unfortunate incident bringing beer home from the bottle shop. Promises an exuberant, messy time.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 31, 2021

· Leave a comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #71

The food theme continues this week with an all-carb spread of band names. Although it was my birthday yesterday, none of them are Cupcake Time, but there are still a lot of comforting favorites here. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Jelly Bread
(April 20, 2013) Folded over, the comfort food of my childhood.

The Little Donuts
(June 13, 2015) There’s an admirable goofiness in naming a band for food. (My brother and bandmate keeps trying to get someone to name their band Cupcake Time; no takers so far, so I’ve introduced the name into my fictional music scene here and here.) I also have a soft spot for overtly adorable names, and what is more adorable than tiny food? The real story behind the name is appropriately sweet; read it here.

The Lonely Biscuits
(May 13, 2017) Heartbreaking that even the beloved biscuit could be lonely. Invite them to brunch.

Morton and the Saltines
(May 14, 2011) This one takes the classic “X and the Ys” formula and draws humor from both the play on a brand name and the inclusion of ubiquitous, basic food products. It hints that saltines aren’t as bland as we’d been led to believe. [Update: Either this group is no longer active or Morton has fallen away. –ed.]

Pentagraham Crackers
(November 2, 2013) Something dark rendered harmless by a comfort-food image.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Review: See You When the World Ends

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See You When the World Ends by Simon Paul Wilson (Not A Pipe Publishing 2021)

Tim loves Naomi Wong from Hong Kong. He just didn’t realise it until now.

When Naomi returns home for her sister’s wedding, it finally dawns on Tim that his feelings for her run deeper than friendship. He starts to have a recurring dream. Unfortunately, he can never seem to remember the exact details, but he knows it’s telling him something very important.

Then the ghostly apparition of a blurred-face woman starts to haunt his waking world.

My Review:

This novella is a quick, entertaining read with romance, comedy, and a shocking supernatural threat. It begins like a rom-com with a pair of best friends, Tim and Naomi, coming to terms with previously unacknowledged feelings when Naomi flies home to Hong Kong for her sister’s wedding. Then Tim has a disturbing dream and the story veers into creepy horror as his dreams come true in the worst way. This wishy-washy slacker has to find his inner hero to save the woman he loves … from herself.

I enjoyed Tim and Naomi’s easygoing friendship and banter. They know each other well and have their own language. It was no surprise that they had feelings for each other, and also no surprise that they were reluctant to jeopardize their friendship. The supernatural threat was shocking and spooky. I like that the ending was hopeful without being completely resolved.

Available at Auntie’s HERE.

Available at Powell’s HERE.

Available at Barnes & Noble HERE.

Available on Amazon HERE.

Available on Kindle HERE.

 

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 24, 2021

· Leave a comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #70

The food and beverage theme continues! The potluck table is a little light on entrees, but dessert, salad, and drinks are covered, with a bonus offering for our cetacean friends. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

God and Vanilla
(June 24, 2017) Implies that chocolate is not merely the food of the gods, but their equal.

Green Jello
(November 3, 2012) Brings potlucks to mind. No food is naturally that color. Put it on the plate with the hot foods, and everything tastes like lime.

His Many Colored Fruit
(November 5, 2016) Is it just me, or did we come in in the middle of a really trippy narrative?

The Hop Monsters
(August 19, 2017) Evokes both beer and preschoolers, I hope not at the same time.

Iron Krill
(December 31, 2017) Food of choice for anemic whales.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 17, 2021

· 1 Comment ·
Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #69

The food and beverage theme continues, with a tasting flight and a beer sponge. The buffet and bar should remain open for most of the summer. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Booze & Glory
(May 21, 2016) This seems like a more realistic aspiration for a band than fortune and glory. Playing for beer money.

The Bourbonites
(January 14, 2012) Preferable by far to being a suburbanite.

Comfort Food
(November 5, 2016) It feels significant that they’re playing next Tuesday, Election Day. We’ll need a nation-sized pot of mac & cheese to get over this campaign. (If you care about this flawed but functional republic, remember to vote if you haven’t already.) [Update: We had no idea. –ed.]

Djinn and Tonic Belly Dance Revue
(February 25, 2012) I love the translinguistic pun, as well as the West-meets-East idea of the drink and the dance. And then there’s the whole bottle thing . . .

The Gargle Blasters
(January 7, 2012) I cannot fail to honor this reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I’m surprised I hadn’t done it already.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

		

  		
	




			
				




	
	
	


  

  	

  		
Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 10, 2021

		    		

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Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold




Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.


Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!


(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)


SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #68


It’s a potluck picnic of band names! For the rest of the summer, or pretty close. Today I kick off a series on a food and beverage theme, which should sustain me until there are enough live shows to pick from. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.


AlcoJuana
(June 21, 2014) The next logical step in trendy, herb-infused booze. We call it Weedka.


Alice Drinks the Kool Aid
(July 22, 2017) Takes a sudden turn from surreal children’s book to real-life horror via cultish metaphor. I don’t want to imagine what happens to her.


Angsty Teens Seeking Money for Pizza
(July 26, 2016) This was an almost automatic choice, purely based on length because I have a perverse fondness for long band names. But I also applaud the bald honesty of what these kids might be busking for. (And then I discovered they’re a Seattle two-piece — band after my own heart.)


Bad Honey
(March 14, 2020) Must be a pet name for a misbehaving significant other, because actual honey rarely goes bad.


Barons of Tang
(May 26, 2012) Is this like land barons or oil barons, but with powdered space-age breakfast drink?


 


Two last things before you go:


    

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
    2. 

  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. A new one will be out next Monday and includes a excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)
    3.