Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #68

It’s a potluck picnic of band names! For the rest of the summer, or pretty close. Today I kick off a series on a food and beverage theme, which should sustain me until there are enough live shows to pick from. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

AlcoJuana
(June 21, 2014) The next logical step in trendy, herb-infused booze. We call it Weedka.

Alice Drinks the Kool Aid
(July 22, 2017) Takes a sudden turn from surreal children’s book to real-life horror via cultish metaphor. I don’t want to imagine what happens to her.

Angsty Teens Seeking Money for Pizza
(July 26, 2016) This was an almost automatic choice, purely based on length because I have a perverse fondness for long band names. But I also applaud the bald honesty of what these kids might be busking for. (And then I discovered they’re a Seattle two-piece — band after my own heart.)

Bad Honey
(March 14, 2020) Must be a pet name for a misbehaving significant other, because actual honey rarely goes bad.

Barons of Tang
(May 26, 2012) Is this like land barons or oil barons, but with powdered space-age breakfast drink?

Two last things before you go:

1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. A new one will be out next Monday and includes a excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)