Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

I’m late writing my first post of 2023 not because I had trouble finding five band names, but because I was scrambling to finish a cozy fantasy short story before a submission window closed TODAY. I didn’t even know cozy fantasy was a genre until recently, but a story I started on the winter solstice definitely qualified. My resolution this year is to submit short fiction at least once a month, because I have a lot of stories just lying around that could maybe find a home if I bothered to send them out. I wouldn’t usually rush to submit a story that wasn’t even finished at the beginning of the week, but this seemed like an excellent fit and gave me the motivation to get it done. Whether it is accepted or not almost doesn’t matter.

And now I can return my focus to band names, where it belongs. If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch to encourage them as we perhaps move into less interesting times. And … hit the follow button at the lower right to never miss a post!

The Doom Generation
Though I just barely qualify as a Boomer, I recognize that my generation owes apologies to all those coming behind us. You’re doomed. Sorry.

Every Living Beast
That’s a lot of fur on one stage. (We probably owe them an apology, too.)

Joint Souls
Not just perfectly matched as soul mates, but sharing one in common.

Moo
That’s one barnyard critter heard from. What about Baa and Oink? EIEIO.

Swamp Church
Join the choir of birds, bugs, and critters; get accidentally baptized when you fall off a log; go back to Pogo’s place after for perloo.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. A new issue just published! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)