Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 28, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!


How’s everybody holding up? I am lucky that I can do most of my day job from home, as can the other employed people in the household, though it has been an adjustment. Sanity walks and comfort food seem to help. It’s inspiring to see how artists and arts organizations have found ways to keep sharing music. Check out The Quarantine Sessions if you haven’t already.

With every bar still a dead bar and every show cancelled, I’m once again digging into the vault to bring you a pandemic-themed retrospective. The names are still great even if the bands aren’t playing. If you are able, please buy their music and merch. And come back next week for more band names.

The Ill-Legitimates

(December 13, 2014) Whether or not they are bastards, these guys are sick in the best sense of the word. (Bonus: back in 2014, I was unable to dig up any online presence. Now I can finally let them know!)

Invisible Hand

(April 23, 2016) Why, exactly, do we want what sounds like a creepy phantom running our markets? How is that a good idea? Great name for a band, though.

Iron Lung

IronLung-ScurvyBastards 1(August 1, 2015) Walking along Lake City Way yesterday, I found a discarded 7″ lying by the side of road. I was almost home and it was so hot out, I almost didn’t pick it up. But how often do you find an unbroken (not undamaged) vinyl record just lying there?  I picked it up. It still plays well enough for us to determine that both bands — Iron Lung and Scurvy Bastards — have names perfectly suited to their genres. For that, both receive honorable mention in this week’s blog.

It Gets Worse

(December 27, 2014) A simple and obvious play on the It Gets Better campaign, but so punk and so often true.

Lungs and Limbs

(June 25, 2016) Another favorite category shines a spotlight on an isolated body part. Here we have a variation on that theme, pairing up two very different but necessary parts that happen to alliterate.


One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues. Issue #6 coming in April! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

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