Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

To everyone who was wondering when summer would come: here it is. I don’t want to hear anyone complaining about the heat. If you’re sweaty, find a bar, grab a cold one, start a mosh pit and all be sweaty together. If you’re not sure who to see, choosing by band name is a time-honored method. A few suggestions:

Karate in the Garage

I like this from a sound perspective: the two nouns have all the same vowels and most of the same vowel sounds, lending this a nice, flowing assonance. But there’s more! In the YA novel The Gospel According to St. Rage (by Karen Eisenbrey – who’s that?) the titular teenage garage band ends up practicing under the auspices of an after-school chamber music club. Bandleader Barbara quips, “A garage is a chamber.” Apparently it is also a dojo.

People under the Stairs

This could be a horror situation, but I read it as a comment on affordable housing. How much could you get a month for the closet under the stairs?

The Sharp Teeth

I enjoy band names that are body part, with or without an adjective. I like this one because teeth (sharp or not) absent a predator are not much of a threat unless you step on them. But put them in a working jaw, and watch out! (When my brother asked me earlier in the week if I’d ever blogged about The Sharp Teeth, I didn’t know I would come up one short because one of my picks was a past honoree. Glad to have a sub ready to enter the game on short notice!)

Space Shark

This one gives off a great sci-fi cartoon vibe, and also goes well with The Sharp Teeth. You’re safe until the helmet comes off.

St. Terrible

Is this a St. Rage tribute band?! Yeah, probably not. Maybe they should book a show together, though. I like the pairing of the holy and the destructive.