Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 4, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #16

In honor of Independence Day, I present an Americana-themed retrospective. I found enough suitable candidates in the vault for several posts, so the theme will continue for most of the month. It’s not fireworks but I hope it will do. Be safe, wear your mask, and please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

American Nudism

(July 25, 2015) The qualifier “American” suggests something about the nudism — it’s either exceptional or puritanical, I just can’t decide which.

Boom City

(January 31, 2015) So many reasons to love this as a specifically Seattle band name: our history with supersonic jets; that long-lived fireworks stand; our growing reputation as the capital of LOUD.

Great American Trainwreck

(December 1, 2018) I can’t think of a better description of our current moment. [Gosh, that aged well. –ed.]

The Parade Schedule

(May 23, 2015) Festivity requires organization. All the clowns and marching bands have to respect the person with the clipboard.

Ragged Union

(December 10, 2016) I can’t seem to escape post-electoral blues. This one speaks to our Divided States of America, tattered but not yet sundered. [Wow, another one. –ed.]

Fireworks at the End coverOh, all right. Have some Fireworks at the End.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2020 issue comes out next week! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 27, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #15

Back in March, I naively thought I would only have to do a few of these retrospective posts before nightlife resumed. I went to the vault and hauled up what I was sure would be more than enough appropriate band names to tide me over. Today I reach the end of that trove with the last of the pet-themed band names, but never fear! I will head back to the cellar next week for more vintage delights. Please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Dog Fashion Disco

(May 9, 2015) Imagine the dog party at the end of Go Dog Go, but with more glitz and a mirror ball. I like that party hat!

Dog Party

(March 21, 2015) Around this house, we love and revere P. D. Eastman’s Go Dog Go, a limited-vocabulary guide to how to pick up girls. It concludes in an epic dog party in a tree. I like that party hat! I like that band name!

Dog Shredder

(March 19, 2011) One of the resident cats thinks this applies to her. I imagine it’s brutal and raucous.

Strawberry Love Cat

(February 21, 2015) Cheery and goofy, in that psychedelic way. I’m partial to cat names, too. [Sadly, they seem to have disappeared from the internet. –ed.]

Teen Cat  

(March 14, 2015) Teens are hip to pop culture and cats are cool, so there are lots of good rock & roll associations. On the other hand, felines mature so quickly that they barely have an adolescence. An actual cat in its teens is mature to elderly. (I was pleased to see that Teen Cat is a guitar-and-drum duo with a woman drummer, just like Your Mother Should Know!)

Fundraising report: I spent literally all day last Saturday taking part in The Longest Day, a fundraiser for the Alzheimer’s Association for which participants choose an activity and do it from dawn to dusk to raise funds for research, care, and support. I was part of the Writing Against the Darkness team, fifteen writers bashing out words and checking in with each other regularly via Zoom. We generated a novel’s worth of words–about 82,000 (9K mine)–and almost $5000 in donations ($1450 mine) by the end of the day. The fundraiser continues, so if you are able, please donate here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2020 issue is coming soon! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 6, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #12

Special protest-themed post! We were expecting civil unrest to kick off around August, but apparently Junuary is here and the time is right for marching in the streets. This pandemic has made plain even to the privileged (like me) some deep-rooted inequities, biased and brutal policing being one of many legitimate grievances in communities of color. If you are able, please carry a sign, donate to justice organizations (see below for a humble suggestion), amplify unheard voices, and since there won’t be live music for a while yet, perhaps buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

And I Am the Riot

(July 28, 2012) I wonder what came before the conjunction — “You are the . . .” I like that it’s not a riot, but the riot.

Down with People

(December 31, 2011) This could be an anti-people protest slogan or a statement of support: “I’m totally down with them.” I like the ambiguity.

Molotov Colostomy

(June 22, 2013) Well, that took a surprising turn! Grossest protest ever.

Not a Part of It

(August 29, 2015) This could be an alibi: “It wasn’t me. I don’t even wear makeup.” But I like it better as an expression of wholehearted, all-or-nothing-at-all engagement.

Riot at the Dojo

(March 3, 2018) Over-the-top fight scene. Everyone bows at the end. (The resident young person was hoping for an exclamation point after Riot.” You can’t always get what you want.)

Shout+eBook+Cover+12_15_19.jpg?format=750wA small way to help and get something good to read at the same time: for every copy of Shout: an Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction purchased, Not A Pipe Publishing makes a donation to Black Lives Matter and 3 other worthy justice organizations. (I recommend doing even more good by ordering from your favorite independent bookshop.) Full disclosure: I have a story in this book but I would make this recommendation even if I didn’t because the other stories are that good!

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 30, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #11

Even if every bar is still a dead bar and there’s still no live music, we can enjoy a morning thunderstorm. BOOM! (If you need a live music fix, KEXP is posting sessions daily. They recently premiered this session with Square Pig faves Dead Bars.) If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Power Skeleton

(October 19, 2013) I have it on good authority that October is Skeleton Awareness Month. I have a sore hip, so I’m quite aware of my own personal skeleton. When I eventually have my hips and/or knees replaced, I want them to put in a sound chip to make noise like a servo motor.

Shelter in Place

(November 9, 2019) This emergency directive is probably more pleasant to enact when the place in question is a bar, especially when the bar is called The Funhouse! [When I wrote this less than a year ago, I never dreamed it would become poignant.]

Sh*t Ghost

(July 17, 2016) Gross and funny and they have the most adorably disgusting logo.

Sidewalks and Skeletons

(June 22, 2019) More like trick-or-treat than end-of-school. Then again, no matter the time of year, everyone on the sidewalk has inside them a spooky, scary skeleton. (Happy coincidence: S and S is from Bradford, UK, the birthplace of my spouse’s grandfather.)

Skeletonwitch

(May 19, 2018) In case my new book [Daughter of Magic, released May 2018] does well enough to warrant them, I’m already planning sequels. One is likely to include as antagonist a skeletal hag called Old Mother Bones. This is her house band. [Book 2 Wizard Girl released in July, 2019. Book 3 Death’s Midwife was submitted to Not A Pipe Publishing this month and does, in fact, include an antagonist called Old Mother Bones.]

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 23, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #10

Call me naive, but when this all started, I did not foresee doing 10 of these retrospectives. Now it looks like it will be many, many more. I have plenty of material, but I am in mourning for live music and group singing. That calls for another pet-themed post.  If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Cat Valley

(March 9, 2019) A writer’s paradise. Come for the fur, stay for the purr.

Dead Cat Hat

(March 22, 2014) This is awful and funny at the same time, with an obvious but irresistible rhyme. Not the cat in the hat; the cat is the hat.

Kitten Forever

(September 7, 2019) I have old cats, so I find this touching. Although kittens grow into cats in no time, they don’t outgrow their kitteniness. Even ancient cats don’t show their age until they’re ready to lay down that ninth life.

Secret Cat

(January 9, 2016) I’m picturing a cat going undercover in a dog household to steal the plans for a canine takeover of the world, blowing that plot wide open and then taking a nap. (And hey, they’re on a bill with Square Pig faves Power Skeleton!)

Sit Kitty Sit

(April 9, 2016) Like that’ll get you anywhere. Cats take orders from no one. (Cat sits. Gives a look that says, “I was going to do that, anyway. Nothing to do with you.”)

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 16, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #9

If it helps, you can consider these retrospective posts to be “double curated.” I originally mined these gems from the nightlife listings on the dates indicated, then returned to nine-plus years of blog posts to select entries that seem to speak to the current weirdness. I do the work so you don’t have to.  If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Dead Man Winter

(March 18, 2017) A seasonal character who has overstayed his welcome; always old, nearly expired.

Death by Steamship

(January 29, 2011) This is not the way I want to go! It conjures two wildly different pictures: an absurdly elaborate execution; or a chance meeting in a dark alley that doesn’t end well . . .

The Femurs

(January 29, 2011) The bone name is too clinical to be really macabre, and it rhymes with “lemur”. But it doesn’t turn truly comic until you add the definite article. (As a band name, it doesn’t hurt to have the same vowel, syllable, and accent pattern as the Beatles).

Good Bones

(December 16, 2018) Well done, skeleton. What would I do without you?

Mystery Skulls

(October 28, 2017) This one’s a little Halloween-y. Inside every person you’ve ever loved is a spooky, scary skeleton. The skull isn’t even buried that deep.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 18, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #5

The bars are still closed but there’s no shortage of band names in the vault. The pandemic theme includes both grief and comfort (including comfort food). If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch. And come back next week for more band names–I brought up enough for 4 or 5 more weeks.

Abstract Friends

(June 21, 2015) A step removed from imaginary friends, this implies an idea of friends separate from any actual experience of friendship. The teenage protagonist of my young-adult work-in-progress [no longer in progress but out in the world! –ed.] could probably relate — she’s invisible and has no real friends until she takes courage and starts a garage band. The members of this band look the right age to be her classmates, too.

All Bets on Death

(February 5, 2011) Taxes are a close second.

Bacon Grenade

(March 2, 2013) If this isn’t the name of a hangover breakfast, it should be. Or maybe it’s the thing you toss in to distract the guard dogs.

Blessed by a Broken Heart

(November 1, 2014) Not often do I see a band name so genuinely touching. Enough time has passed to see what was gained through grief. This is grown-up stuff.

Cure for the Common

(February 27, 2016) I’m pretty sure I would have picked this even if I wasn’t down with a cold. Always great to find something to lift you out of the mundane.

 

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)