Tag: morton and the saltines

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 31, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)


The food theme continues this week with an all-carb spread of band names. Although it was my birthday yesterday, none of them are Cupcake Time, but there are still a lot of comforting favorites here. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Jelly Bread
(April 20, 2013) Folded over, the comfort food of my childhood.

The Little Donuts
(June 13, 2015) There’s an admirable goofiness in naming a band for food. (My brother and bandmate keeps trying to get someone to name their band Cupcake Time; no takers so far, so I’ve introduced the name into my fictional music scene here and here.) I also have a soft spot for overtly adorable names, and what is more adorable than tiny food? The real story behind the name is appropriately sweet; read it here.

The Lonely Biscuits
(May 13, 2017) Heartbreaking that even the beloved biscuit could be lonely. Invite them to brunch.

Morton and the Saltines
(May 14, 2011) This one takes the classic “X and the Ys” formula and draws humor from both the play on a brand name and the inclusion of ubiquitous, basic food products. It hints that saltines aren’t as bland as we’d been led to believe. [Update: Either this group is no longer active or Morton has fallen away. –ed.]

Pentagraham Crackers
(November 2, 2013) Something dark rendered harmless by a comfort-food image.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)