Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!
I’m recovering from a chest cold that was bookended by two shows in which I had to sing and drum. I thought I was tired and sore after the first one merely because of staying up late and hauling gear, but now I think darker forces were at work. I wasn’t back to 100% by the second show, but felt better by the end of it, not worse. Anecdotal evidence that singing, or music in general, is good for you. What else is good for health and morale? Why, good band names, of course! Check these out:
I’m a sucker for intentional pretentious nonsense. “Tonight’s special is squab, punched out of the sky at 200 mph, then roasted with a medley of baby vegetables.”
Formerly known as Down. It’s a topsy turvy world.
In my day, people worshiped the porcelain god after a rough night. Clinging to the commode for dear life seems like a more relevant analogy.
You’re going to have to work it out for yourself.
This one gets in mainly because they’re playing at the Rendezvous, which is purported to be haunted. When we played there, I never saw a ghost but two kickdrum feet mysteriously disappeared.
Honorable Mention:
In late 2013, I started writing a short story called “St Rage” that had in its backstory a teen band called Plague of Turtles (first mentioned publicly in this post). In 2015, the story was published as the January release in the Pankhearst Singles Club, then grew into a full-length novel, The Gospel According to St Rage. Plague of Turtles remains in the backstory but the members appear in a reconstituted group called Sack o’ Hamsters, then Legion of Morons, and finally, The Greebles. Yesterday, I was delighted to learn that Plague of Turtles is no longer fictional! It tickles me no end that someone else thought this was a perfect band name.
On Easter 2008 (9 years ago! Hard to believe.) I was inspired by the Resurrection story as related in John’s Gospel to try writing my own version from the point of view of the main character. I was happy with the result and shared it with a few people, but didn’t have a way to share it more widely. Now I do. Please accept this Easter gift:
Karen Eisenbrey 