Author: kareneisenbreywriter

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 5, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I think about music and bands and band names all the time, but I don’t get out to many shows. I blame age and adulting, which are not necessarily the same thing. BUT tonight I have every intention of hauling myself out to Darrell’s to hear, at least, Deadrones and Power Skeleton, and if I have anything left, Sun Giants and Towers. Wish me luck! Meanwhile, these fine names give me hope for the future:

Beta Rocket

We’ve revised our design and we’re going to the moon. Or it’s gonna blow up on the pad. Won’t know till we try.

Comfort Food

It feels significant that they’re playing next Tuesday, Election Day. We’ll need a nation-sized pot of mac & cheese to get over this campaign. (If you care about this flawed but functional republic, remember to vote if you haven’t already.)

His Many Colored Fruit

Is it just me, or did we come in in the middle of a really trippy narrative?

Melodramus

An ancient seer twirls his mustache and chews the scenery.

Spacement

Some days, Earth is the penthouse of the universe. Other days, it’s the cellar. (I’m not sure the link is correct. I found two bands using this name and neither was obviously playing at Substation this week.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 29, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

October 31 is on a Monday, which sets off a 4-day celebration! There’s no end of themed shows this weekend, any of which I’m sure beats trick-or-treating in the rain. My kids being grown, I get to stay in where it’s dry and make weird music. We never get any trick-or-treaters down at the bottom of our hill; I made sure to buy candy we like. Here’s my treat sack of band names:

Clone Wolf

Add a letter and change the meaning–one of my favorite naming schemes. Strong, silent anti-hero becomes sci-fi experiment anti-hero.

Dry T-Shirt ContestSuperShirt

A non-gendered, non-salacious bar game: don’t spill your drink on your shirt! (I like to think it’s about the message on the shirt, not the body it covers. “Write Like a Girl” for the win.)

Retrospecter

Be an old-school ghost this Halloween.

The Velvet Overdrive

Best name for a cover band I’ve seen in a long, long time. And I just like that there is a Velvet Underground cover band.

Withering Blooms

Seasonal, with a hint of romantic melancholy. The last rose of autumn.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 22, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Hard to believe a week ago, we were bracing for the Storm of the Century, only to be snubbed in favor of Canada. Now here we are on a day that reminds me why I love October. But it gets dark early, so sunshine is no excuse not to get out there and experience some music! Whether it’s rainy or dry, here are some well-named bands that would appreciate your support:

Cuff Lynx

Well, you could try, but you might lose a hand. (I love a good cat pun.)

Least Likely to Succeed

Here we have a fine example of Northwest loser pride. It’s not about success or failure, it’s about getting out there and making some noise. And annoying the squares.

Shower Scum

Does it get any grungier than this?

Sloucher

Evokes alienated teens in leather jackets, annoying adults by posture alone. Also, it’d be cool to see them on a bill with Pouch, just for the rhyme.

The Worst

More loser pride, reveling in being best at being bad.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 15, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Although I usually encourage everyone to go out and support your local musicians, this weekend is an exception. In light of the possibly historic windstorm headed our way, I hereby encourage everyone in the Western Washington to stay home, be safe, and make your own music. Probably in the dark, with acoustic instruments. Meanwhile, these band names struck my fancy on this stormy weekend:

Miss Bermuda Dunes

I like the reference to a small-scale, probably low-rent beauty contest. I hope this does not turn out to be the highlight of her whole life. I also picked this one because of having windstorms on my mind. The Caribbean has been pounded lately, and dunes are an important line of protection for islands.

Siren’s Rain

Bringing together the mythic and the meteorological. Don’t let the storm lure you out where it can drop a tree on you! (There was some confusion in the club listings, with the album being released listed as if it were a band name. Having spent five years in Tacoma, I was happy to accept Beneath the Narrows as a band name, especially as we are battening down for an epic windstorm.)

Support Group

They have no web presence, which leads me to believe this is an ad hoc band pulled together to fill out this one bill: supporting the other groups. I like it for its generic nature, and because musical ensembles — whether garage band, church choir, community orchestra, or whatever — really can serve emotional supports for their members. Here’s to ’em!

Thunderhound

Thunder Knife

I think we are expecting more wind than lightning and thunder this time around, but these two fit the storm theme. One is a mythic creature, the other a mythic artifact; both promise heavy rhythms and electric music (if the power stays on).

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 8, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Thirty years ago next Tuesday, my husband and I were married on a glorious sunny October afternoon. Tonight we’re going out for our anniversary dinner on the other kind of October day: blustery and wet (but when other people are dealing with a hurricane, I hate to even mention it, let alone complain. This is just October being itself.) Our reservation is early enough that I’m tempted to find a show afterward. We’ll see what happens. Meanwhile, here’s some bait to lure you out:

The Brooders

It sounds dark and angsty, but I suspect it’s a chicken farming reference. Brooding keeps the eggs (or creative ideas) warm till they hatch.

Nopes

Negative by definition, yet so folksy and casual, you can’t take it personally. The plural form adds to the charm.

The Plot Sickens

I probably wouldn’t read a book that got this review, but I salute the pun.

A Sense of Gravity

I welcome the news that we have many more than five senses, probably including this one. We would certainly feel it if physical gravity stopped working. Of course, there is the other meaning of gravity, whose counterpart is levity: the sense of humor.

Sundae Crush

Both parts of this name evoke youthful sweetness and innocence, with the poignancy that crushes so often go unrequited. When crushed by love, eat ice cream. You’ll feel better.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 1, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Today I spent several hours in line with many, many, many Bruce Springsteen fans in order to get into Elliott Bay Books and do this:

ymsk-with-bruce-springsteen
Bruce Springsteen with Your Mother Should Know

We were pleased to also represent Dead Bars and St Rage. I added a signed copy of The Gospel According to St Rage to the box of gifts for the Boss. But I’m still all about the band names, so here we go:

100day delay

Although it seems extreme, this is actually long enough to get something significant done while you wait. How will you use your 100 days?

Mandolin Orange

What can I say? I love music puns. I could also believe this as a decorator paint color.

PIG

I have written about other bands with “pig” in the name; of course I have. This one is as pure as it gets. I don’t need to know its shape, or that of the hole it is in.

Slow Elk

You don’t see highway signs warning of fast elk. Why is that?

We Are All Astronauts

Oh boy! When do we launch? (Or is this one of those Spaceship Earth things?)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 23, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This promises to be one of those weekends with no time for blogging, so I’m getting this post done early; for the first time, on the same day I collect material, so it should be out before any of these deserving bands play their shows.

And So I Watch You from Afar

I’m a sucker for long-phrase band names. Is it achingly romantic or plain creepy?

The Charlatones

Scam artists as clean-cut musical ensemble? I love this play on a classic band-name format.

Lilac

So, you know how most people who say they want to write actually mean they want to have written? I want to have gardened. I love having beautiful or edible plants on my property, but I’m terrible at getting things established. My biggest successes have been a couple of lilac bushes. One established with almost no effort on my part, while the other took ten years to start blooming. But now I’m rewarded every spring with my favorite fragrant flowers for no work. So.

The Master Debaters

I thought it a delightful coincidence that they were playing the week of the first Presidential debates, then learned they are actually playing after a live screening of the debates at the Royal Room. I like the not-so-subtle innuendo almost hidden in there.

NailPolish

Another classic naming scheme: the mundane object or product. Nail polish was the only cosmetic I used on a regular basis, although even that has fallen by the wayside. I might have to take it up again; the protagonist of my novel THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST RAGE gains absurd confidence by painting her toenails silver before a show — even though she’s wearing boots and no one else knows.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 18, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m blogging a day late due to a weekend roadtrip to Spokane to drop off our eldest at college. Walking back to our hotel after dinner, I felt like we should have been passing a dive bar where we would either discover an amazing band we’d never heard of or find Dead Bars headlining. Neither of these things happened. It’s good to be back in Seattle, where we find these five winners:

Filthy Femcorps

I like the no-apologies ownership of filth and fem together. This could be the house band for the Pankhearst Writers Collective, which in addition to my wide-eyed garage rock fairy tale has put out some pretty steamy Fem Noir.

Ratbath

Even vermin are interested in hygiene. Or is this a tub full of rodents? It also rhymes with “ratpath,” nearly the title of one of my favorite recent fantasy novels, Ratpaths.

Tiny Plastic Stars

Someday in the near future, my kids will move out and I will give their room a thorough cleaning. I’m sure I will turn up hundreds of party favors and carnival prizes, including a galaxy of tiny plastic stars. They glow in the dark.

Thank You Scientist

I like this future where a young person can fit their computer, TV, typewriter, stereo, library, and game console into a small backpack, and have a second supercomputer/communicator in their pocket. Makes moving into the dorm room quick and easy! Thank you, scientist(s)!

Vader Tots

This is probably the most adorable Star Wars pun I’ve ever seen.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 10, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s been a great week here at Square Pig Central! On Wednesday, the self-titled EP by my fictional all-girl teenage garage band St. Rage got a nice review on No More Division. Then the novel in which they appear, THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST RAGE, got two more 5-star reviews on Amazon. Yesterday, I learned that the Seattle Public Library has added 3 copies of the book to their collection. The sun came back, allowing for a lovely dinner last night on the patio at Little Water Cantina, followed by a nice walk home. And this afternoon, to quote the St. Rage song “Something of Mine,” my iron was high enough and they hit the vein, so I was able to donate a pint of blood for someone who needs it. And now I have the pleasure of celebrating these five band names:

The Everyday Losers

No big dramatic losses in front of millions here; not only losers, but mundane everyday losers. Who can’t relate to that? To quote another St. Rage song, “We’re all losers but we’re gonna make it look like we’re winning.”

Gopher Broke

This pun has it all for a country dance band: rural reference; cute rodent mascot; implied risk-taking; and an allusion to the usual state of a working musician’s finances.

Slime Girls

Putting the lie to the sugar & spice notion.

The Sunshine Factory

Things got backlogged for a few days last week, but our shipment finally came in.

Wasted Words

Song titles make wonderful names for tribute bands and this is no exception. Apart from the meaning of the original song, I like to read this as drunken utterance: the words one slurs while wasted.

For those who are interested, here are the two St. Rage songs referenced above:

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 3, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’ve regularly paired up band names that I thought should be on the same bill. Occasionally, I’ll choose more than one from the same show. And now, for the first time in almost six years of writing this blog — ta da! — the whole list comes from one gig. (And they’re from out of town, so let’s give them a real Seattle welcome; bring on the rain!) I’m straying from my usual path of an alphabetical listing to get a better narrative flow.

Stick to Your Guns

Stray from the Path

Run Them Through

Expire

Knocked Loose

Four imperatives and a result. On initial reading, the first two seem to conflict, but perhaps they have an internal logic where sticking to your guns requires leaving the beaten path. Step 3 makes sense if we’re going to win this battle; step 4 gives us pause but may be the most important of all. The enemy, utterly bamboozled, is knocked loose.