Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 2, 2020

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!


Wow, we’ve been at this lockdown awhile, and we have at least a month to go. I hate to say it, but live music will probably be among the last things to come back. Remember when you could stand up front and the band would spit beer on you? Yeah, that’s why, but those were the days. Fortunately, I still have loads of appropriate band names from past posts. If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Damage Bouquet

(April 25, 2015) This name brings into close proximity two words that shouldn’t have anything to do with each other, but once introduced, suggest any number of scenarios. Is this the flowers you send the person harmed by your wreckage? The flowers you use to smack the person who done you wrong? Or is it the sweet smell of brokenness brought into the open?

Feeling People Feeling People

(April 20, 2019) As long as it’s consensual, a positive counterpart to the “hurt people hurt people” formula. Empathy and touch promote health and healing.

Maudlin Strangers

(June 21, 2015) Why aren’t they on a bill with Abstract Friends? But they are on a bill with Bad Idea, which might be a clue: guy walks into a bar with only the concept of friendship, sits next to an emotionally demonstrative stranger and quickly gets dragged into someone else’s drama.


(March 2, 2013) Timely, considering the season. (Apologies to all hay fever sufferers). I like this because pollen is a collective noun already and making it plural is amusing overkill. But I’m sure that botanists (and hay fever sufferers) are concerned with the variety of pollens out there.

Runny Nose Bros.

(December 22, 2018) Probably won’t be a hit video game, but any parent of two or more who has been through at least one winter will be nodding in recognition.


One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first six issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

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