Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Since 2010, Square Pig in a Round Hole has been rewarding five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Stranger’s Everout nightlife listings for abundant source material!

Happy 250th Independence Day to those who celebrate! Keep cool, remember to hydrate, and don’t blow off any digits or limbs.
I’m observing the occasion by participating in the Anti-Fascist Write-athon. Please consider making a donation to root me on and to support the Antifa Lit Journal. One of my projects is a short story that might fit the next issue. Another is the next book in my St. Rage garage rock/superhero mashup series, working title Truth. Justice. Rock & Roll. Donate here: www.notapipepublishing.com/antifascist-writeathon and be sure to put my name in. Thanks!

If you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch. Also, check out the Battle of the Bands my pal Chantel is doing at The Swamp, picking new competitors each week from Square Pig. And … hit the subscribe button at the bottom to never miss a post.

Lawn Darts
I am old enough to remember the perfectly normal activity of flinging sharp objects at my siblings and cousins on my grandparents’ front lawn. I don’t think anyone ever got hurt, but it was a long time ago.

The Royal Firecrackers
Handel at 78 RPM, or played by a toy orchestra. Kings are ridiculous, anyway.

SPITRAT
I don’t know what the music sounds like, but the name is as punk as it is possible to get.

The Velvet Helmets
Formal dress riot gear.

Whiskey Strut
The wedding reception line dance when everyone is drunk enough to almost fall off their shoes.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my monthly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues–next one drops on July 7. (Or just subscribe to the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)