Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times and The Stranger nightlife listings for abundant source material!

The groundhog may have seen its shadow, but the birds outside my window act like spring will be here any day. After all, what does a marmot in PA know about the seasons in Seattle? Regardless, it continues to be a good season for band names. (PA Marmot and Seasons in Seattle both sound like good band names, for what it’s worth.)

As ever, and especially if you’re going out to shows again, wash your hands, wear your upgraded mask, get your vaccine and booster if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for even better days. Hit the follow button (toward the bottom of the menu) and never miss a post!

Leftover Salmon
Great local flavor to find in the fridge the next day at lunchtime. A terrible waste if you find it still sitting on the kitchen counter 12 hours later.

Loud Sleepers
How do snorers sleep through their own racket? Maybe we need to amplify it and play it back at them.

Rocket Bleach
To make your space vehicles whiter than white.

Up in the Attic
All the best weird stuff is waiting there, hanging out with the spiders.

Worst Party Ever
NW loser pride for the win! Did no one show up, or did things go horribly wrong? Or maybe this refers to today’s GOP.

Two last things before you go:

1. I run The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the archive and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)