Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 9, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music listings return, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #81

It’s going to be a busy weekend, so I’m scheduling this post in advance. I’m participating in the FREE Words & Pictures Festival, an all-virtual event featuring author readings, writing workshops, panel discussions, and more, including programming especially for teen writers on Sunday. I will be reading from Death’s Midwife on Saturday morning at 10 am and participating in a panel of YA authors offering advice to teen writers on Sunday at 2:15 pm. Schedule and registration link are here.
But right here, the Monster Mash (or is that Mosh?) continues, with five more monster-themed band names for your spooky-season enjoyment.

As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Boomzzilla
(April 27, 2013) Drum monster! Promise of good, dumb fun.

The Drolls
(August 19, 2017) Like trolls, but with a more sophisticated wit.

Explodatron
(March 31, 2012) Over the past 21 years [Update: 30], I’ve learned a lot about what appeals to boys. A giant robot that blows things up would be high on the list.

Fake Shark Real Zombie
(January 28, 2012) I saw Jaws when I was 11, only to discover too late that I was one of those younger children for whom the movie was too intense. When I finally saw it again as an adult, I laughed because the shark was so obviously fake. In the campy monster movie with the same name as this band, I would then turn around to confront a real zombie and either die of fright or somehow remove its head.

Closeup image of garden spider on web

Great Spiders
(September 29, 2012) Giant spider in the third act!

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 20, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Not quick enough to get tickets to the Seattle Pop Punk Festival before day 1 sold out, I have enjoyed reports from afar. Almost a third of the bands are past Square Pig honorees: Botherations, Date Night with Brian, Dead Bars, The Drolls, and Stuporhero. Meanwhile, these non-festival bands made the cut this week:

Chronological Injustice

Either ageism or being born in the wrong century.

Final Body

Hint: it’s the one we die with.

The Go Aways

Lesser Seattle and the spirit of Emmett Watson live on!

The Mercy Ray

A gently beaming smile, or Tesla’s “Peace Beam” by another name?

Wrong Way at the Roundabout

When traffic gets tangled, don’t get mad; get out and dance. I also like how the alliteration isn’t obvious in the spelling.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 19, 2017

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I was really hoping to find a batch of eclipse-themed band names, but alas, it was not to be. Noonmoon is closest, but I already wrote about them here. If you’re going to Oregon for the big event, I hope you’re already there; I feel sorry for anyone whose travels take them there for other reasons this weekend. I saw a total solar eclipse in 1979, so I’m content to stay in Seattle and experience 91% of totality with my homemade viewer. Without further ado, five band names that are not eclipse themed:

The Drolls

Like trolls, but with a more sophisticated wit.

Flicker and Fade

Alliterative poetry for dying light. Fitting for late summer.

The Hop Monsters

Evokes both beer and preschoolers, I hope not at the same time.

Lost Bayou Ramblers

Doesn’t get any rootsier than this. I can almost taste the gumbo.

Zigtebra

Twice the stripes.