Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 28, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #75

This is the second week with a theme of gardens, farms, and soil. Once again, I feature six bands instead of the usual five. Our backyard landscaping project is developing nicely but like any work in progress, will need a lot of work before it is a finished thing of beauty. Fortunately, people who know what they are doing are in charge of the work.

As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Lilac
(September 23, 2016) So, you know how most people who say they want to write actually mean they want to have written? I want to have gardened. I love having beautiful or edible plants on my property, but I’m terrible at getting things established. My biggest successes have been a couple of lilac bushes. One established with almost no effort on my part, while the other took ten years to start blooming. But now I’m rewarded every spring with my favorite fragrant flowers for no work. So.

Slugs
(February 2, 2019) Local flavor at its localest (but don’t taste them), humble denizens of every Northwest garden and forest, rasping away at the greenery. Listen closely.

Soundgarden
(May 20, 2017) The intensely local nature of the name is hidden from the rest of the world while it perfectly describes the scene here: fertile ground for weird new music of all genres.

This Soil is Diseased
(January 26, 2013) Yow! I suspect this comes directly off a sign somewhere, a perfect metal name: complete sentence with notes of death and corruption.

Trebled Morels
(June 29, 2019) Even one morel is a miracle, but three? Heaven. (These came from our yard [in 2014]: doubly trebled!)

Woodshed
(May 21, 2016) I grew up in a house with an actual woodshed: we stored stovewood and garden tools out there, and it also had a workbench for fixing things. Although we were a musical family, I don’t think anyone ever went out there to practice an instrument, but my older brother (age 5 when we moved into that house) had heard enough about woodsheds to worry that he’d get more spankings. Fortunately, it wasn’t that sort of woodshed, either.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. I am admin for The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 16, 2018

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m back from vacation and ready to continue the celebration of band names. Happily, there were plenty to choose from and it was easy to make my list:

Bloom Offering

A lovely, fragrant, ephemeral sacrifice, seemingly less violent than a burnt animal offering. But how do the plants feel about it?

Imposter of Humanity

We’re all pretending we know how to do this thing.

Lilac

April in June

Me a few days ago in Philipsburg, MT

My favorite flower, and I can actually grow it! But its season is so short. The secret is to follow it through climatic zones, where it is possible to enjoy April in June.

The Midnight Avocados

A nutritious and satisfying late snack.

Wake of Humanity

Apparently, it’s “of humanity” week. The destruction we leave in our path; or the drunken celebration the other lifeforms will hold when we’re gone.

 

Shameless Self Promotion:

In case you didn’t know, I write about a lot more than band names! My young adult Daughter+of+Magic+eBook+Cover+edit+1fantasy novel Daughter of Magic released on May 22, 2018 from Not a Pipe Publishing! Ask for it at your favorite independent bookstore or order from Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Luskell has been dreaming about dead people.

Her parents may be two most powerful wizards in the country, but Luskell doesn’t have any magic of her own, so she’s stuck spending a summer with her grandmother in the small town of Deep River where her father is the hometown hero. Then the dead start to visit her dreams with mysterious messages. In a secret pact with her friends Jagryn and Laki, Luskell begins to teach herself magic and discovers an apparently bottomless well of untapped power. But before she has control over this ability, her dead grandfather appears with a dire warning. With no way to send word to her parents, Luskell and her friends mount a daring rescue. Can they get to the capital in time to save the country … and her parents’ lives?

Square Pig in a Round Hole-September 23, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This promises to be one of those weekends with no time for blogging, so I’m getting this post done early; for the first time, on the same day I collect material, so it should be out before any of these deserving bands play their shows.

And So I Watch You from Afar

I’m a sucker for long-phrase band names. Is it achingly romantic or plain creepy?

The Charlatones

Scam artists as clean-cut musical ensemble? I love this play on a classic band-name format.

Lilac

So, you know how most people who say they want to write actually mean they want to have written? I want to have gardened. I love having beautiful or edible plants on my property, but I’m terrible at getting things established. My biggest successes have been a couple of lilac bushes. One established with almost no effort on my part, while the other took ten years to start blooming. But now I’m rewarded every spring with my favorite fragrant flowers for no work. So.

The Master Debaters

I thought it a delightful coincidence that they were playing the week of the first Presidential debates, then learned they are actually playing after a live screening of the debates at the Royal Room. I like the not-so-subtle innuendo almost hidden in there.

NailPolish

Another classic naming scheme: the mundane object or product. Nail polish was the only cosmetic I used on a regular basis, although even that has fallen by the wayside. I might have to take it up again; the protagonist of my novel THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST RAGE gains absurd confidence by painting her toenails silver before a show — even though she’s wearing boots and no one else knows.