Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 14, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s warming up and also not raining! Get out and hear some music. Or stay home and make some music. Or get ready to march.

Decent at Best

Like music or literature, band names fall into various genres. I would put this one under Northwest Loser Pride (a personal favorite). Whether honest assessment or an attempt to keep expectations low, this lets everybody off the hook.

Great Good Fine OK

“How are you?” isn’t typically a multiple-choice question, but maybe it should be.

Grip Tape

Honoring a humble substance without which countless drumsticks would be flung into the mosh pit.

Marching Church

It’s time to get out of the sanctuary and take the gospel to the streets.

Mud on My Bra

I applaud the unapologetic feminism tucked into this punk-af name. Nothing about your gender, anatomy, or underwear should stand in the way of doing what gives you joy.

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 7, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

And now we emerge, squinting, into a bright new year; hoping for the best, fearing the worst. What can we rely on to lift our spirits? Band names, that’s what. Out of this week’s abundance, I mined these five gems:

Dot Comet

I’m a sucker for a name that starts out one way, then makes a quick turn into something else. As a bonus, this one gives me an excuse to trot out an old family joke. “Look! Comet Kohoutek!” (You have to be a certain age to get that one.)

Fuss & Holler

I like the backwoods vibe. This could be a pair of strong verbs, a cleverly named duo, or (by sound, not spelling) a place to go flippercootin’.

mustrd.

I have to respect an abbreviation created by removing one vowel and adding a period so it isn’t actually shorter by character count.

Springtime Carnivore

Summer Cannibals

These two are playing on the same night but not on the same bill. I can’t help thinking the former becomes the latter at the summer solstice; probably safest to hear them in January.

Square Pig News: I’m newly on Twitter! I’m not really sure what to do with it besides share each segment of the post as a tweet. We’ll see.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 31, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

How better to see out 2016 than with a celebration of band names? In a year that seemed to have no end of bad news*, this weekly roundup of creative thought in the local music scene gave me something to smile about on a regular basis. Here, then, are the final five of 2016, with a bonus special mention.

The Considerate A-holes

Subtract a tw0-letter prefix from a common, sputtered complaint to create an oxymoron, a classic form of band name.

The Laughing Group

I’m picturing a sober business firm founded 1916 by Mr. J. J. Laughing, a man who never smiled.

Naked Walrus

The funniest part of this is imagining a clothed walrus.

Perfect by Tomorrow

Wow, that’s some resolution!

Rocket Coma

As a science-fiction writer, I’ve spent a certain amount of time thinking about long space journeys and how to make them tolerable and cost effective. We throw around words like hibernation, statis, hypersleep. This is a blunter way to put it.

Bonus special mention:

It Gets Worse

I featured this band exactly two years ago, in my last post of 2014. At that time, I wrote: “A simple and obvious play on the It Gets Better campaign, but so punk and so often true.” Now it looks like an honest prediction of how 2017 might compare to 2016. Please, no.

*I can’t be too down on a year that brought my first published novel into the world, but I know a lot of people who can’t wait to see 2016 gone. Seriously, though, if you believe in Truth, Justice, Rock & Roll, check out The Gospel According to St Rage.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 24, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s Christmas Eve and I have lots to do to get ready for tomorrow, but first let me slip a handful of band names into your stocking. They are the gift that apparently never stops giving.

For Now

A simple little phrase that could mean temporary, provisional, lent not given; or else in the moment, for this time and no other.

Goat Reward

Whether the goat receives the reward or is the reward, this was strange and funny enough to catch my eye.

Marina and the Dreamboats

This one has everything: classic X and the Y structure; the repeated long-e sound to aurally link the bandleader to the band; a thematic link between boats and where you dock them; and a promise of dreaminess.

Old Outfits

I mostly shop at thrift stores so even my new outfits are old. Then I wear them till they fall apart. But an outfit can also be an organization, like, say, a band. One that has been around a while, or includes aged participants, would therefore be . . .

Schadenfreuders

Using a German word automatically makes it more dramatic and also goofier. Of course it helps that German has a single word for “taking pleasure at the misfortune of others.” Twisting it into those who take that pleasure is the cherry on top.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 17, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I just saw a snowflake. Stop that right now! We all have stuff to do this weekend! On the assumption that it will be possible to get out, please consider these well named bands:

The Absent Light

Particularly fitting as we approach the longest night of the year. The light hasn’t quit, it’s just on temporary leave.

Bad Koala

I like the pairing of something adorable with the suggestion of wrongness. They get extra points for calling their EP “Menacing Marsupial.”

Middleman Bob

Beloved host of a children’s show about commerce.

Small Leaks Sinks Ships

Literally true but just try saying it three times fast.

Wolves in Argyle

Sure, they look stylish and civilized in their sweater vests and socks. That’s what they want you to think. Don’t get too close; keep an eye on your young.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 10, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

seattle-snow-12-9-2016
Snowy Seattle morning  Dec 9, 2016

The snow came and went so quickly, I’m glad I took a picture to prove it was real. It’s supposed to turn cold again next week, but at least I’ll have time to wash my thermal underwear first. For now, there’s no excuse not to go out and find a band or three. This flurry of names caught my attention:

Anchors Overboard

“Um, we might need that later.” “No, man, it was only holding us back.”

Bootleg Sunshine

Just what we need in this dark season! More kick than a lightbox or vitamin D supplements.

Dr. Hell No and the Yes Men

I’m a perennial fan of the classic X and the Y naming structure. This one makes good use of opposites and monosyllables for humor and snap.

Out Came the Wolves

Epic drama packed into a four-word sentence.

Ragged Union

I can’t seem to escape post-electoral blues. This one speaks to our Divided States of America, tattered but not yet sundered.

 

Square Pig in a Round Hole-December 3, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Sometime last month, without fanfare, I completed six years of writing this weekly blog. (Posts from before June 2016 can be found here.) That’s a lot of band names! And the well shows no sign of drying up, so I plan to keep going. With some fanfare, here are this week’s picks, which by happy coincidence are all two-word names (with the exception of one definite article) and all but one of which follow the pattern of adjective noun:

Boring Ghost

Sure, your house is haunted, but the spook doesn’t mean you any harm. It just wants to tell you the same dull story over and over.

Dumb Thumbs

This one, though dumb, speaks to me. My own personal thumbs are inept at communication, so I generally text with my fingers.

Heavy Nettle

This is going to sting A LOT.

Idiots Rule

Song title as name for tribute band is a time-honored tradition. This is also a natural for my ongoing theme of post-election anxiety.

The Worst Idea

As is this one. A celebration of ill-advised choices.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 26, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

As we near the end of what has been in many ways an awful year, we take our good where we can find it. Having eaten the big dead bird and avoided the malls by taking a long walk in the woods, I plan to round out the holiday weekend by donating blood today.  There is still much to be thankful for, including the wildly creative Seattle music scene and the fans and venues that make it possible. Band names are big part of that; here are five that caught my eye:

Eating Rite

This is exactly what Thanksgiving has become. Hooray for the pumpkin pie.

Iffy Comma

I don’t often play favorites with my weekly picks, but I’m making an exception and declaring this my favorite in a long time. The kindest editors have strong opinions on punctuation but allow the writer some comma flexibility.

Sleeping with Sirens

This is either the reward for sailors who survive the shipwreck, or what earplugs make possible in the big city.

Steep Ravine

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Ravenna Park, 11/25/2016

That long walk in the woods on Black Friday took place in Ravenna Park, one of Seattle’s beautiful forest parks that follows a creek  along a, yes, steep ravine in the midst of the city.

White Wail

Another name for our most recent Presidential election.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 19, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

The pickings in the club listings were a bit slim this week; for whatever reason, there aren’t a lot of shows on Thanksgiving! I had already written about many of the listed bands and came up one short. Shoutout to DASWASUPGIG for coming to the rescue with a last-minute substitution!

Dead Yeti

This one has sonic appeal, with the short-e vowel in both words (but spelled differently) and the repeated d sound, again spelled differently in the second word. On top of that: if anyone finds a dead cryptid, it stops being legendary; what fun is that?

The Dip

Family joke about an old mattress: “I’ve got a dip in my bed. And then there’s this worn-out mattress.”

The Regrettes

The perfect name for an all-girl punk outfit, just waiting for them to pick it up. (They are and they did. Brava! One thing they won’t have to regret.)

Sitting and Waiting

Turns the spotlight on something mundane and makes it sound like a pop duo.

The Ugly Architect

A little-known Hans Christian Andersen story. What is the architect really?

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 12, 2016

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

As an unapologetic liberal and anti-authoritarian, I have spent the days since the election in dismay and worry. On the plus side, the club listings this week offered a bounty of band names that spoke to my anxieties. I hereby present a special post-electoral double-plus list of eleven honorees, offered with less comment than usual. Keep making music, people. We’re going to need it more than ever.

American Island

AKA the West Coast.

Animals as Leaders

At least the internet will still be full of cute critters. Vote Kittens & Puppies 2020!

Bury Me Now

On second thought, I believe I will stand and fight.

Caveman Ego

The ego entering the White House is even larger and less refined than usual. I mean no insult to cavemen.

Cold Comfort

“We survived Reagan. We survived Bush.” Why do I not feel better?

Failure Anthem

I’m no stranger to losing. This feels different. This one also speaks to Northwest Loser Pride, which I will always celebrate. I even wrote the anthem:

Head for the Hills

There’s a temptation to run and hide, but where would we go? This is our circus; those are our monkeys.

King of Hats

The bonus pick that does not belong to the theme! I wear hats to be visible, and the wordplay makes me happy during a downer week.

Reason to Rebel

Most voters were not for the president-elect. Let’s not let him forget that.

Slackjaw

Wednesday morning’s expression.

The Orwells

I remember how relieved we were to reach and pass 1984 without the book coming true. I hope he didn’t just get the year wrong.