Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 29, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

A first! To date, this is the only Leap Day edition of Square Pig in a Round Hole. Several newspaper comics implied that February 29 is not a real day, which makes it the perfect day to either do nothin’ or else try something new. Whichever you choose, these band names are 100% real and all winners:

FRED

When I was a teenager (a startlingly large number of years ago), there was a Seattle punk band called Fred. I missed out on hearing them live but heard thrilling tales. This is not their triumphant return, but I’m pleased someone else thought Mr. Rogers’ first name was fitting for a music project.

Half Rushmore

Nothing but presidential chins.

New World Aviation Committee

I have a soft spot for names that are too long, especially when they sound official but don’t quite make literal sense.

Outhouse Confessional

A one-holer and a confessional booth are of similar size. Go in, shut the door, consider your human-animal nature.

Trebled Assets

When you check your collection of soprano instruments and there are three times more than you remembered.

 

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction, the latest release from Not A Pipe Publishing. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 22, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I Go PogoIf election years make you anxious, I’m right there with you. Turn up the music and yell if it helps, and remember to vote. Personally, I Go Pogo, but since he’s not running this year, I’ll have to choose the next best candidate. Lots easier to choose these great band names:

Absynthe of Faith

Anyone who can nest puns within puns gets my vote. Worship the green fairy of electronica.

Batbox

Echolocation by means of high-pitched rhythmic mouthsounds.

Hippie Fight

It’s all groovy peace & love till they start a mosh pit.

Old Lady Litterbug

Besides how it describes an eccentric character, what I like about this one is the a-litter-ation. Sorry, I’ll see myself out.

Prodigal Sunburn

Returning home because he ran out of SPF 50 and no one would share.

 

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 15, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This blog is a weekly Valentine to everybody who started a band, gave it a clever name, and learned at least one song. Bonus points if they played a show. Special hearts and flowers to these five:

Dining Dead

Having a late Valentine’s celebration. Very late.

HeadHurt

When the music was too loud and the drinks were too strong and someone has the nerve to ask what’s wrong.

Like Machines

You’ve heard of a love machine? This is the preliminary version; a really good friend.

Magic City Hippies

The grooviest, man. Far out.

Skyquake

Rocking so hard, they literally blow the roof off this joint.

 

Shout+eBook+Cover+12_15_19.jpg?format=750wShameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 8, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

20200208_135658Regular readers know that St. Rage is one of my favorite bands (and band names). Perhaps because I invented them and wrote and performed their songs. Well, today has been a very St. Rage kind of day: hat shopping in the morning, blood donation this afternoon. Before we move on to the real-life bands, here’s a little song about donating blood:

Thanks for your patience! On to this week’s honored five:

American Authors

I love it when music and literature collide! This is what I aspired to be from an early age. We’re mostly not rich and famous.

Franks and Deans

Wordplay + nostalgia = the Rat Pack’s favorite lunch.

Happy People Team

After this last week (or last 3 years), I know I need some positivity. And a reminder that we’re stronger–and happier–together.

Take It to Space

Way past over the top!

Tang

And what do we take to space, but what the astronauts drank!

Shameless self-promotion: Add this to your calendar now: On Saturday, March 21, 2 pm at The Neverending Bookshop, I will join with other local authors to read from and sign SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-February 1, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It’s Groundhog’s Eve! If you’re looking for something to do, Banned Rehearsal (a band with one of my favorite names of all time and of which I am a member) has a rare public performance tonight at Gallery 1412. This free-improv group has been around since 1984 and records every session. Tonight we will play and record sessions 999 and 1000. Details here. I like these band names, too:

Cryptamnesia

That heartstopping moment when you can’t remember how to get out of the haunted mausoleum.

Five Letter Word

When the situation demands that you up your swearing game.

Less Than Three

Probably a duo, but could be a solo act or even an empty stage. Humorously enough, there are at least three bands using this name. I think I found the right one … and it’s a four-piece.

Shadow of the Season

The days are getting longer, but it seems darker. The miles-thick cloud layer probably has something to do with that.

Spring Summer

The bright half of the year seems fictional at this point. We gotta believe.

Shameless self-promotion: More important than a football game or Groundhog Day, February 2 is the release day for SHOUT: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction. Twenty-five writers (including me) on the theme of resisting fascism/authoritarianism/nationalism. My story “Emma’s Knives” uses recipes as vehicles for coded messages of encouragement and instruction from grandmother to granddaughter in oppressed circumstances. Read my advance review here.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 25, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Shameless Self-Promotion, right up front: Tonight, January 25, at 7:00 p.m., I will read from and sign my latest novel, the punk rock/superhero mashup Barbara and the Rage Brigade, at Third Place Books Ravenna. Details here. I will have download codes for this EP of 4 songs Barbara/I wrote for the book:

Fictional bands are all well and good, but I feel privileged to live in a world with these real ones:

DoughP!

The spelling and punctuation tell you exactly how to pronounce it. More complexity and substance than mere dope.

Flannelog

So peculiarly Pacific Northwest, all plaid shirts, tube amps, and vinyl.

Glitterer

Hero or villain? Tossing glitter is a cheering, celebratory deed but being microplastic, glitter itself is evil. What the world needs is biodegradable glitter. (That would be colored sugar. Glitterbomb victims would end up sticky and covered in ants.)

Hurry Up, Snufkin

Pop culture reference across media for the win! I chose this for the extreme childlike cuteness, little knowing this is the title of an episode of an actual cartoon. (This artist was previously featured under the name Meanderthals, about whom I said, “Just us cave people out for a directionless stroll.” 12/23/2017)

Strayaways

Less intentional than runaways but probably not coming back anytime soon.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Review: Shout: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction

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Shout+eBook+Cover+12_15_19.jpg?format=750wShout: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fiction (Not A Pipe Publishing, 2020)

Full disclosure: I was excited enough about this project to submit a story. It’s an honor to be included in a collection of such excellent and bracing work.

Each of the 25 works has its own take on the theme of resistance to fascism/authoritarianism/tyranny. Some are cautionary tales of the oppression future Americans may have to live under, some portray active resistance to injustice, and others provide the satisfaction of oppressors brought low by their own hubris.

It’s hard to pick favorites, but I will name a few. I couldn’t stop thinking about “Growth” by Janet Burroway, a grim and heartbreaking look at public utilities we take for granted. How self-sufficient would the average American be with all the comforts of modern life … except sewers and waste disposal? “Shout” by Benjamin Gorman is modeled on the Biblical account of Joshua and the battle of Jericho, but with a different wall and an unexpected Promised Land. “Last of Our Kind” by Heather S. Ransom is a harrowing thriller of smart, capable women on the run from active, deadly misogyny. “The Creamy Ichor Sauce over Lake Michigan” by TJ Berg is a darkly hilarious Lovecraft pastiche with a satisfying end to the corrupt powerful. “No Collision” by Jennifer Lee Rossman also provides comic relief, in the form of a deep space mission and some information the President doesn’t want found.  “Dandelion” by K. A. Miltimore speaks of the value of books and kindness. The final piece, the poem “Anthem” by Bethany Lee, reminds us of what really matters and rhymes love with love.

Whether scary, dark, funny, or hopeful, each piece is encouragement to stand up for what’s right before it’s too late.

Release date: February 2, 2020. On pre-order now:

  • You can pre-order the paperback edition from Powell’s HERE.

  • You can pre-order the paperback edition from Barnes & Noble HERE.

  • You can pre-order the paperback edition from Amazon HERE.

  • You can pre-order the Kindle edition now, HERE.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 18, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

We now return to our regularly scheduled Seattle January: 40 degrees and raining. I’m glad the snow mostly fizzled, though I didn’t say no to my one snow day. It’s good to know that events this week are unlikely to be cancelled, including shows by these well-named bands:

Evulse

I first encountered the word evulsion as a pre-teen, when my sister took first-aid training. I remember a morbid delight that there was a special word for a body part that had been forcibly removed. It never occurred to me until now that of course there would also be a verb for the violent act.

Hans Gruber and the Die Hards

Gotta respect a band that uses classic X and the Y structure to refer to a pop culture icon in a different medium. Yippee ki yay and Merry Christmas.

Little Hero

An always-welcome reminder that size matters not in the do-gooder business.

Shady Bug

Underhanded insect, crawly staying out of the sun, or perhaps a beetle large enough to serve as a parasol.

Teen Bop Hit Factory

If you take the tour, be sure to bring your dancing shoes in case they pass out samples.

Shameless Self-Promotion: Next Saturday, January 25, at 7:00 p.m., I will read from and sign my latest novel, the punk rock/superhero mashup Barbara and the Rage Brigade, at Third Place Books Ravenna. Details here. Until then, enjoy these 4 songs I wrote for the book:

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 11, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Winter was shaping up to be an extended fall/early spring, and then somebody had to go and put snow in the forecast. Bah. My elbow is still recovering from last February. If it happens, I hope nobody has to cancel their show, especially any of these winners:

Bandaid Brigade

Childlike risk-takers, patching up boo-boos and marching onward. (With my latest novel Barbara and the Rage Brigade out in the world, it’s safe to say that for the foreseeable future, I will honor anyone with “brigade” in their name.)

Echo Relocation

When bats’ employers transfer them to a different cave, somebody has to help with the move.

Hellport

Change one letter and suddenly instead of a convenient point of egress from the urban core, you’ve got an opening to a nasty other dimension. Maybe the boss really is that evil.

The Out of Body Experience

The simple addition of the definite article transforms a mystical event into a groovy (and maybe still mystical) event.

Several Other Ghosts

Too late to visit Scrooge on Christmas Eve, they find themselves at loose ends, available for hauntings, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and children’s parties.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first five issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-January 4, 2020

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Happy New Year & New Decade! Don’t give me any argument about the decade beginning next year–it’s the ’20s now, so let’s just shut up and learn to Charleston. It goes without saying that the celebration of band names will continue as long as the listings include treasures like these:

David’s Van

Shoutout to every garage band’s beloved if unreliable vehicle that makes touring or even just gigs possible.

Microtonic

All it needs is a little gin. Very little.

Motionless in White

Arty and opposite; how often is rock music still or clean? (The paper inadvertently ran the names of co-headliners together. The name I thought I was choosing was “Beartooth Motionless in White,” which takes the artiness up to eleven. These bands should consider merging and changing their name to this.)

XRAWRX

Sound effect and illustration in one.

Yeti Set Go

This displays the same kind of wordplay as Petty or Not from a couple of weeks back, but with a different kind of celebrity. Cryptid pun for the win.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)