Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 12, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #65

I’m wrapping up the celebration of Northwest Loser Pride with a bonus 6th band name. I’ve heard rumors about the return of live music, so maybe I won’t have to do too many more of these retrospective posts. I have enjoyed revisiting old material, but I look forward to fresh inspiration. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day–coming soon, I hope!

Runt
(August 21, 2013) As one who was always the youngest and smallest, I tend to favor the runt. The word itself has the monosyllabic punch of some of our best swear words, and fits nicely in Seattle’s loser-pride movement.

Spirit Award
(December 20, 2014) It sounds good, but everyone knows it’s code for the Talentless Try-hard Trophy. But in this land of loser pride, that’s a badge of honor.

The Tailenders
(February 25, 2012) This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings — and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Total Fu**ing Bummer
(November 30, 2019) The absolute depth of disappointment and height of NW Loser Pride. (Censorship courtesy of The Seattle Times.)

Worse in Person
(March 8, 2020) A fine example of northwest loser pride, perfected with a rhyme that isn’t obvious until spoken aloud.

The Worst
(October 22, 2016) More loser pride, reveling in being best at being bad.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-November 30, 2019

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It occurs to me I am a few weeks into the 10th year of writing this weekly blog, which began on November 6, 2010 and featured All Time Low, Armed with Legs, Aurora Roarers, Excruciator, and Rat City Ruckus. Back then, I was writing on a Blogspot page and more bands were on MySpace than Facebook. Other than a few holiday weeks when the pickings were slim and I did a retrospective, I have not had to repeat myself. As long as bands keep supplying good material, I plan to keep sharing it. Just like this:

Sunset Moon

Moonrise at sunset

Ghost Moon

Veiled in cloud, drifting spookily through the night. (By my count, this is at least the 27th moon-themed name I’ve featured.)

Go Fetch

The succinct beginning of a quest.

The Stand Stillers

Don’t move. Just sing. (Although I generally respect the rules of English grammar and syntax, I love how you can completely disregard them and still make sense.)

Total Fu**ing Bummer

The absolute depth of disappointment and height of NW Loser Pride. (Censorship courtesy of The Seattle Times.)

YOB

Your own … bottle? Battle? Brother? Bother? Whatever it is, bring it.

One last thing before you go: I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies. Click the link to check out the first four issues and subscribe here for future issues.  (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)