Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 12, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #65

I’m wrapping up the celebration of Northwest Loser Pride with a bonus 6th band name. I’ve heard rumors about the return of live music, so maybe I won’t have to do too many more of these retrospective posts. I have enjoyed revisiting old material, but I look forward to fresh inspiration. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day–coming soon, I hope!

Runt
(August 21, 2013) As one who was always the youngest and smallest, I tend to favor the runt. The word itself has the monosyllabic punch of some of our best swear words, and fits nicely in Seattle’s loser-pride movement.

Spirit Award
(December 20, 2014) It sounds good, but everyone knows it’s code for the Talentless Try-hard Trophy. But in this land of loser pride, that’s a badge of honor.

The Tailenders
(February 25, 2012) This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings — and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Total Fu**ing Bummer
(November 30, 2019) The absolute depth of disappointment and height of NW Loser Pride. (Censorship courtesy of The Seattle Times.)

Worse in Person
(March 8, 2020) A fine example of northwest loser pride, perfected with a rhyme that isn’t obvious until spoken aloud.

The Worst
(October 22, 2016) More loser pride, reveling in being best at being bad.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-October 22, 2016

Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Hard to believe a week ago, we were bracing for the Storm of the Century, only to be snubbed in favor of Canada. Now here we are on a day that reminds me why I love October. But it gets dark early, so sunshine is no excuse not to get out there and experience some music! Whether it’s rainy or dry, here are some well-named bands that would appreciate your support:

Cuff Lynx

Well, you could try, but you might lose a hand. (I love a good cat pun.)

Least Likely to Succeed

Here we have a fine example of Northwest loser pride. It’s not about success or failure, it’s about getting out there and making some noise. And annoying the squares.

Shower Scum

Does it get any grungier than this?

Sloucher

Evokes alienated teens in leather jackets, annoying adults by posture alone. Also, it’d be cool to see them on a bill with Pouch, just for the rhyme.

The Worst

More loser pride, reveling in being best at being bad.