Category: Band names

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 20, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This is usually a lighthearted space, but I must acknowledge this week’s shocking loss to music generally and to Seattle especially. I’m one year older than Chris Cornell. Therefore, the ’90s were my parenting-small-children years; I didn’t get to hear that decade’s music until much later. But even in the midst of maximum domestic chaos, I’d heard of him and appreciated Soundgarden as a band name. The intensely local nature of the name is hidden from the rest of the world while it perfectly describes the scene here: fertile ground for weird new music of all genres. The best memorial would be to get out and hear the new local sounds sprouting up even now. RIP Chris Cornell, gone too soon.

Everyone Orchestra

Whether it is for everyone or literally is everyone, I like the inclusivity.

Madame Damnable

Looks good on the page, sounds good to the ear. I also applaud naming a 3-piece band as a singular character.

Mount Analogue

I suppose this comes from the allegorical novel of the same name, but I could also imagine it as a fragment of technical instructions of some kind.

Sneaky Bones

When you’re not looking, skeletons creep up. Before you know it, you’ve got one under your skin. Spooky.

WE Are the Asteroid

How everything else on Earth sees the disaster that is the human race.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 13, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Brunch and flowers are fine, but I propose a new Mother’s Day tradition: take Mom to a bar, buy her a drink, and introduce her to her new favorite band. If like me you’re missing her, lift a glass and sing her a song that was a hit before your mother was born.

This week’s favorite band names:

Dead Bird Movement

I’m stretching the definition of band name to include this modern dance and film company because they present live music/dance events and because I love the name. Things have come to a sorry pass when even dead birds start marching.

The Lonely Biscuits

Heartbreaking that even the beloved biscuit could be lonely. Invite them to brunch.

Queasy Horse

When your steed needs a hangover breakfast. Play on near-homophones that look nothing alike on the page; thanks, English spelling.

Sibling Revelry

Another one that isn’t exactly a band name but close enough for my purposes. This sister act spells it out: there’s nothing jollier than making music with your siblings.

Torpoise

Does hybridization speed up the turtle or slow down the dolphin?

 

Bonus gift: original fiction for Mother’s Day. Have tissues at hand.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-May 6, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Right on schedule, it’s May and Seattle has already had a foretaste of summer in the form of two warm days and a thunderstorm. Didn’t even have to go out to hear some noise! And there’s no shortage of noise of the band variety, either. Here are the names that came to my attention this week:

All Them Witches

A rustic locution serving to downplay their spooky power. So many witches.

Cashmere Cat

As if they weren’t soft enough already.

Left on Tenth

Mundane phrases make reliably good band names. Also, I cross 10th on my drive to work. The street doesn’t go through, so if I turned left, I’d wind up in the park.

The Magic Beans

. . . and the next thing you know, you’ve got giants falling from the sky. Might be worth it, though.

Marble

Actual warning label on a bag of marbles: “Toy contains a marble.” If it didn’t, you’d want your money back.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 29, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

I’m recovering from a chest cold that was bookended by two shows in which I had to sing and drum. I thought I was tired and sore after the first one merely because of staying up late and hauling gear, but now I think darker forces were at work. I wasn’t back to 100% by the second show, but felt better by the end of it, not worse. Anecdotal evidence that singing, or music in general, is good for you. What else is good for health and morale? Why, good band names, of course! Check these out:

The Falcons of Fine Dining

I’m a sucker for intentional pretentious nonsense. “Tonight’s special is squab, punched out of the sky at 200 mph, then roasted with a medley of baby vegetables.”

The New Up

Formerly known as Down. It’s a topsy turvy world.

Porcelain Raft

In my day, people worshiped the porcelain god after a rough night. Clinging to the commode for dear life seems like a more relevant analogy.

Question? No Answer

You’re going to have to work it out for yourself.

Urban Ghost

This one gets in mainly because they’re playing at the Rendezvous, which is purported to be haunted. When we played there, I never saw a ghost but two kickdrum feet mysteriously disappeared.

Honorable Mention:

Plague of Turtles

In late 2013, I started writing a short story called “St Rage” that had in its backstory a teen band called Plague of Turtles (first mentioned publicly in this post). In 2015, the story was published as the January release in the Pankhearst Singles Club, then grew into a full-length novel, The Gospel According to St Rage. Plague of Turtles remains in the backstory but the members appear in a reconstituted group called Sack o’ Hamsters, then Legion of Morons, and finally, The Greebles. Yesterday, I was delighted to learn that Plague of Turtles is no longer fictional! It tickles me no end that someone else thought this was a perfect band name.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 22, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

This week, after a hiatus of 2 years and 3 months, my drums got to leave the studio and appear on stage at the Sunset Tavern when Your Mother Should Know shared a bill with Square Pig honorees Mud on My Bra! and Strange Like Us. The first show we’ve gotten as a direct result of this blog! The next day, my whole body ached from hauling gear and standing up most of the evening with a crowd of maybe 20 people. My only regret is that more people didn’t get to hear these fun and inventive bands, but I know how it is on a Tuesday night. And there’s always another show, some including these creatively named ensembles:

Count by Color

This appeals to my number-form synesthesia and begins to balance all those color-by-number books in my distant past.

Nation Underdog

A happy accident of spelling recasts our divided republic into the scrappy, lovable longshot.

Snake Suspenderz

Complicated by the lack of shoulders, solved by the lack of pants.

Subtle Triumph

Cool and confident enough to win without yelling.

Your City Sleeps

How you know you’re not from New York.

Coming Soon:

On Thursday, April 27, Your Mother Should Know opens an all-acoustic bill at Victory Lounge, with Not Dead, Sarah Pasillas, Alone in Dead Bars, and Sun Dummy. I’ll be playing small percussion and singing, including three songs I wrote for my novel The Gospel According to St Rage.

Facebook Event

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 15, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

Thank you, Seattle weather, for turning nice just in time for the Tax March, Black Lives Matter March, and Easter weekend! We’ll try not to forget this when the rain returns sooner rather than later. In addition to a basket of five splendid band names, my Easter gift to anyone reading this is a an original story. Official release is tomorrow, but go ahead and enjoy it now. Meanwhile, those band names:

3-Piece Bikini

The dapper and businesslike look for the beach.

Broke in Stereo

When you move in together to save on expenses, but neither of you has any money to begin with.

Cranky Babies

Toddlers are the original punks. Makes me think of my favorite Jonathan Richman song, “Not Yet Three.”

A Heart in the Stillness

A tiny poem for moments like Holy Saturday, when the world holds its breath.

Trapdoor Social

Introverts’ escape hatch.

Coming Soon:

On Tuesday, April 18, Your Mother Should Know is on a bill at the Sunset with Mud on My Bra and Strange Like Us. I’ll be playing drums and singing, including three songs I wrote for my novel The Gospel According to St Rage.

Facebook Event

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 8, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

In spite of an iffy laptop battery and April acting like a moody teen, the Square Pig persists! Standout band names this week include:

Bob Fossil

Jazz hands turned to stone.

The Crüd Güns

Nonlethal but disgusting weaponry. It’s funny even without the umlauts, which take it over the top.

Ghost Town Whistlers

Simultaneously cheerful and creepy.

Nothington

Everybody’s favorite small hometown they can’t wait to leave. (Appearing tonight at El Corazon with Square Pig faves Dead Bars!)

Paws

I’m a fan of one-word names that single out a body part, non-human in this case. (This also allows me to plug Paws and Claws, the new animal-themed anthology from Cake & Quill, for which I donated two stories and a handful of haiku. All proceeds to an animal charity! More info here.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-April 1, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

What a week it’s been! A mix of musical, literary, and family experiences: on Monday, Your Mother Should Know (my two-piece garage band with my brother) played out for the first time since early 2015; on Tuesday, I met with a book club for lively discussion of my novel The Gospel According to St Rage; on Friday, my first-born turned 26 and got booted off our insurance (don’t worry, he’s got it covered, as it were); and today, Paws and Claws, a charity anthology in which I have two stories and a handful of haiku, was set loose on the world. Meanwhile, my novel is a finalist for a Wishing Shelf Independent Book Award; winners should be announced today. While I wait, my fancy turns to thoughts of band names. The listings this week gave up these treasures:

Alien Knife Fight

Why do we always assume extra-terrestrials have advanced super-weapons? Then again, maybe it’s a laser knife.

Box the Oxford

Love the internal rhyme, and how it could be a shoestore clerk or a retiring English professor.

Goodnight Moonshine

Contributing to the delinquency of a beloved children’s book. Goodnight noises, everywhere.

The Hinges

An example of a favorite band-name genre, it turns the spotlight on a mundane household object that allows us to lift lids and let cats in and out. (And of course I always want to support another music duo.)

 

Tin Foil Top Hat

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean you can’t also be dapper.

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 25, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

So much to celebrate: the official arrival of spring, the temporary break in the rain, the maybe-permanent survival of the ACA, the moderately triumphant return of Your Mother Should Know to the stage after two-plus years away . . . and as ever, a generous selection of creative, amusing, inspiring band names:

Dead Meadow

Why you stay on the trail when hiking in subalpine terrain. And it rhymes!

Happy Heartbreak

Seems like an oxymoron, but it’s true: we love sad songs and tragedies. (I’m especially sad that the realities of life will prevent me from staying to hear them Monday night.)

Headstone Brigade

Implies the dead are active and on the march! (Coincidentally, I’m currently reading a novel called Dancing with the Dead by Charles Freedom Long, a sci-fi thriller that includes armies of souls of the dead (human and alien) that can be called upon to aid the living.)

Moose Blood

Aibell and Moose

Our friends moved with their cat to Alaska. She recently saw her first moose and was captivated. Through aspirational spelling, she is thinking bloody, predatory thoughts.

The Smallest Bear with the Biggest Paws

This sounds like an adorable children’s book; much better than The Big Mean Man with the Tiny Hands.

Your Mother Should Know opens at the Victory Lounge on Monday, March 27 in a stripped-down, highly portable configuration: two voices, assorted hand percussion,and one guitar with amp and a few pedals. Also on the bill: Happy Heartbreak, HuskyBoys, and Nijlpaard.

Facebook Event

Square Pig in a Round Hole-March 18, 2017

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Square PigNaming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically. Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times club listings for abundant source material!

It may seem like the rain will never end, spring will never come, and everything keeps getting worse. But! We had a sunny day last week, hyacinths are blooming, and daffodil sightings have been reported. On top of that, there is still music to make and hear, and band names to celebrate. For example:

Dead Man Winter

A seasonal character who has overstayed his welcome; always old, nearly expired. (Bonus: the bandleader is also associated with past honoree Trampled by Turtles, of whom I wrote on September 8, 2012: I love this image, because of the slow speed. Anything heavy enough to do any damage, you could just roll out of the way. I picture some poor dude, passed out and engulfed by turtles. [N.B. Since this post, I have invented a fictional band called Plague of Turtles, no doubt inspired by this image.])

The Galaxytones

As retro-futuristic as the Space Needle.

Plastic Picnic

Toy food in a playhouse satisfies until it doesn’t. Is this where chefs come from?

Tiny Bones

In high school, my sister reassembled a frog’s skeleton and encased it in Lucite. Ever since, I have been fascinated by how small bones can be, whether in wee animals or our own ears.

Yawning Man

A deliberately boring arts festival in the desert. Everybody catches up on their sleep.