Square Pig in a Round Hole-August 7, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #72

Just a few weeks ago, I was excited for the imminent return of live music. Now I foresee a new season of events being scheduled, then postponed or cancelled; of venues reopening and almost immediately closing down again. I really hope I’m wrong! Meanwhile, the food-and-beverage theme continues with a mostly-summery collection. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Plastic Picnic
(March 18, 2017) Toy food in a playhouse satisfies until it doesn’t. Is this where chefs come from?

Pop Sickle
(January 11, 2014) The quiescently frozen confection that kills it every time.

Puff Puff Beer
(February 25, 2017) How to bro in three easy steps.

Shaggy Sweet
(July 20, 2015) The five-second rule is voided if the dropped candy collects fuzz.

The Shaken Growlers
(March 7, 2015) I can easily believe this name grew out of an unfortunate incident bringing beer home from the bottle shop. Promises an exuberant, messy time.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 31, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #71

The food theme continues this week with an all-carb spread of band names. Although it was my birthday yesterday, none of them are Cupcake Time, but there are still a lot of comforting favorites here. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Jelly Bread
(April 20, 2013) Folded over, the comfort food of my childhood.

The Little Donuts
(June 13, 2015) There’s an admirable goofiness in naming a band for food. (My brother and bandmate keeps trying to get someone to name their band Cupcake Time; no takers so far, so I’ve introduced the name into my fictional music scene here and here.) I also have a soft spot for overtly adorable names, and what is more adorable than tiny food? The real story behind the name is appropriately sweet; read it here.

The Lonely Biscuits
(May 13, 2017) Heartbreaking that even the beloved biscuit could be lonely. Invite them to brunch.

Morton and the Saltines
(May 14, 2011) This one takes the classic “X and the Ys” formula and draws humor from both the play on a brand name and the inclusion of ubiquitous, basic food products. It hints that saltines aren’t as bland as we’d been led to believe. [Update: Either this group is no longer active or Morton has fallen away. –ed.]

Pentagraham Crackers
(November 2, 2013) Something dark rendered harmless by a comfort-food image.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 24, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #70

The food and beverage theme continues! The potluck table is a little light on entrees, but dessert, salad, and drinks are covered, with a bonus offering for our cetacean friends. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask again, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

God and Vanilla
(June 24, 2017) Implies that chocolate is not merely the food of the gods, but their equal.

Green Jello
(November 3, 2012) Brings potlucks to mind. No food is naturally that color. Put it on the plate with the hot foods, and everything tastes like lime.

His Many Colored Fruit
(November 5, 2016) Is it just me, or did we come in in the middle of a really trippy narrative?

The Hop Monsters
(August 19, 2017) Evokes both beer and preschoolers, I hope not at the same time.

Iron Krill
(December 31, 2017) Food of choice for anemic whales.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 17, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #69

The food and beverage theme continues, with a tasting flight and a beer sponge. The buffet and bar should remain open for most of the summer. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Booze & Glory
(May 21, 2016) This seems like a more realistic aspiration for a band than fortune and glory. Playing for beer money.

The Bourbonites
(January 14, 2012) Preferable by far to being a suburbanite.

Comfort Food
(November 5, 2016) It feels significant that they’re playing next Tuesday, Election Day. We’ll need a nation-sized pot of mac & cheese to get over this campaign. (If you care about this flawed but functional republic, remember to vote if you haven’t already.) [Update: We had no idea. –ed.]

Djinn and Tonic Belly Dance Revue
(February 25, 2012) I love the translinguistic pun, as well as the West-meets-East idea of the drink and the dance. And then there’s the whole bottle thing . . .

The Gargle Blasters
(January 7, 2012) I cannot fail to honor this reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I’m surprised I hadn’t done it already.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. The July 2021 issue is out now and includes an excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

			

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 10, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #68

It’s a potluck picnic of band names! For the rest of the summer, or pretty close. Today I kick off a series on a food and beverage theme, which should sustain me until there are enough live shows to pick from. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

AlcoJuana
(June 21, 2014) The next logical step in trendy, herb-infused booze. We call it Weedka.

Alice Drinks the Kool Aid
(July 22, 2017) Takes a sudden turn from surreal children’s book to real-life horror via cultish metaphor. I don’t want to imagine what happens to her.

Angsty Teens Seeking Money for Pizza
(July 26, 2016) This was an almost automatic choice, purely based on length because I have a perverse fondness for long band names. But I also applaud the bald honesty of what these kids might be busking for. (And then I discovered they’re a Seattle two-piece — band after my own heart.)

Bad Honey
(March 14, 2020) Must be a pet name for a misbehaving significant other, because actual honey rarely goes bad.

Barons of Tang
(May 26, 2012) Is this like land barons or oil barons, but with powdered space-age breakfast drink?

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. A new one will be out next Monday and includes a excerpt from Barbara and the Rage Brigade. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-July 3, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #67

Live music is creeping back! I really hope to have fresh material soon, but for now, I’m still recycling old posts into retrospectives. This one doubly so: last July, I had 3 weeks worth of Independence Day-themed band names to share. Today I share my favorites of those. However you celebrate 4th of July this weekend, please leave the fireworks to the professionals. Local pets, fire departments, and neighbors with combustible roofs will thank you.  As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask where required, get your vaccine if you haven’t already, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

American Nudism
(July 25, 2015) The qualifier “American” suggests something about the nudism — it’s either exceptional or puritanical, I just can’t decide which.

American Wrecking Company
(March 5, 2016) AKA party politics as usual. When the revolution comes, they will have brought it on themselves.

Great American Trainwreck
(December 1, 2018) I can’t think of a better description of our current moment. [Update: They’re playing TONIGHT in White Center!]

The Parade Schedule
(May 23, 2015) Festivity requires organization. All the clowns and marching bands have to respect the person with the clipboard.

Ragged Union
(December 10, 2016) This one speaks to our Divided States of America, tattered but not yet sundered.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. A new one should be out next week! (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 26, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #66

Oh boy, a record-breaking heat wave! It was already about 80F when I went out at 8 am to water the garden. So this weekend’s band-name theme is hot weather. I’m more thankful than ever for the heat pump we installed a few years ago, and I’m glad I wasn’t planning to go out to a non-air-conditioned club (or anywhere) this weekend. Everybody stay cool and hydrated, and as ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day–coming soon, I hope!

Animals in Cars
(July 21, 2014) I can take it so many ways: exuberantly fun — the dog I saw with his head out the window, ears flapping in the breeze; comic and fantastical — cartoon animals driving cars; or poignant and sad — a dog left alone in a hot or freezing car (please don’t).

The Hot Club of Cowtown
(September 2, 2017) Anyone who has lived in a cowtown knows why this is humorous.

Hot Flash Heat Wave
(September 26, 2015) Is it too much information to say this is something I know all about? Ironic that the band seems to be made up of a bunch of young guys, rather than middle-aged women.

Sun June
(June 23, 2018) Should these words be seen together? Those hot, sunny days right before the solstice felt out of season. It’s reassuring to see the return of June Gloom, though I’m glad it will be nice for the parade.

Tropical Popsicle
(June 14, 2014) I never noticed that these two words rhyme, and now it seems so obvious. Plus, I see frozen treats in bright summery colors.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 19, 2021

I’m taking a break this weekend from the celebration of band names in order to participate with the Writing Against the Darkness team in The Longest Day, a dawn-to-dusk fundraising event for the Alzheimer’s Association. The team will gather virtually at 5:26 am on Saturday, June 19 to work together on our own writing projects until about 9:00 pm, when we will total and report our combined word count. (The official Longest Day is Sunday, June 20, but we’re doing our event on Saturday so the dads on the team will be free to celebrate Father’s Day.) Last year, we churned out about 89,000 words and raised about $5000 for Alzheimer’s research, care, and support. We hope to beat both those numbers this year!

And … we’re also giving away books! All donors to any team member will be entered in a drawing for their choice from a selection of books by participating authors. Donors to my fundraiser will also be entered to win my Daughter of Magic trilogy: signed paperback copies of Daughter of Magic, Wizard Girl, and Death’s Midwife.

Learn more and donate here.

I’ll be back next week with more band names. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 12, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #65

I’m wrapping up the celebration of Northwest Loser Pride with a bonus 6th band name. I’ve heard rumors about the return of live music, so maybe I won’t have to do too many more of these retrospective posts. I have enjoyed revisiting old material, but I look forward to fresh inspiration. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day–coming soon, I hope!

Runt
(August 21, 2013) As one who was always the youngest and smallest, I tend to favor the runt. The word itself has the monosyllabic punch of some of our best swear words, and fits nicely in Seattle’s loser-pride movement.

Spirit Award
(December 20, 2014) It sounds good, but everyone knows it’s code for the Talentless Try-hard Trophy. But in this land of loser pride, that’s a badge of honor.

The Tailenders
(February 25, 2012) This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings — and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Total Fu**ing Bummer
(November 30, 2019) The absolute depth of disappointment and height of NW Loser Pride. (Censorship courtesy of The Seattle Times.)

Worse in Person
(March 8, 2020) A fine example of northwest loser pride, perfected with a rhyme that isn’t obvious until spoken aloud.

The Worst
(October 22, 2016) More loser pride, reveling in being best at being bad.

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)

Square Pig in a Round Hole-June 5, 2021

Cartoon image of a pink square pig in a round hold

Naming a band is an act of concentrated creative expression. Square Pig in a Round Hole exists to reward five favorite band names each week. Winners are (usually) listed alphabetically.

Selection is wholly unscientific and subject to whim, with a bias toward wordplay, humor, and local flavor. In most cases, I won’t know anything about the bands at the time of selection. Thanks to the Seattle Times nightlife listings for abundant source material!

(Until live music returns, I am curating retrospective posts from past material. Dates indicate when the band was originally featured.)

SQUARE PIG IN A ROUND HOLE PANDEMIC EDITION #64

The celebration of Northwest Loser Pride continues! It is a complete coincidence that this theme overlaps with LGBTQIA+ Pride Month, though I imagine there’s a certain amount of intersection. Anyone can feel like a loser and shout it from the rooftops. As ever, wash your hands, wear your mask, get your vaccine, and if you are able, please buy these bands’ music and merch while we wait for a better day.

Least Likely to Succeed
(October 22, 2016) Here we have a fine example of Northwest loser pride. It’s not about success or failure, it’s about getting out there and making some noise. And annoying the squares. [They didn’t have an internet presence then and don’t seem to now, either.]

Least of These
(June 6, 2015) This seems to fit into one of my personal favorite categories, “loser pride.” Own it, and make it look like you’re winning. I also have to like the Biblical reference to those Jesus calls us to serve.

Neerdowells
(April 15, 2014) Rock will never be dead as long as young teens have the opportunity to plug in a guitar and turn it up. And, no small thing, the opportunity to name the project! Again with the Seattle loser pride. I also like the way it’s all run together, even though that risks being read as Near Dowells (what we call the Oneder Effect.) [Update: this band has gone through at least one name change since 2014 and is not currently active. They live on under this name in chapter 3 of my garage-rock fairy tale The Gospel According to St. Rage.]

Pity Kiss
(May 16, 2015) Sweet and sad at once, and feels like another aspect of Northwest loser pride. Even a pity kiss is still a kiss; we’ll take what we can get.

Power Cowards
SuperNothing 
(November 28, 2015) They’re not the same genre, but the names, at least, belong together. They both take Northwest loser pride to the next (comic-book hero) level.

 

Two last things before you go:

  1. My new thing in 2021 is The Rage Brigade, a Facebook group for conversation about fantasy, science fiction, superheroes, and music (and the intersections thereof). If that sounds like fun, come join us here.
  2. I share highlights from this blog in my quarterly author newsletter, The Storypunk Report, as well as news of what I’m writing and reading, upcoming events, and other goodies, including “Wizard in the Mosh Pit,” an exclusive short story just for subscribers. Click the link to check out the first ten issues and subscribe here for future issues. (Or just follow the blog for your weekly dose of band names.)